# If Soap Opera Writers Wrote Movie Scripts! (SPOILERS!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 4, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781 "2012-02-04T19:36:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781/1 "2012-02-04T19:36:19Z")
Anybody who has ever seen a soap opera knows that people don’t necessarily die, and people are not who you think they are, and characters can come back to life in new bodies. So, if soap opera writers wrote the following: **Thelma and Louise** - they didn’t die at the end! With amazing luck, their car landed on an illegal dump of 2648 bed mattresses at the bottom of the cliff and they crawled away and were picked up by a friendly trucker and both moved to Sedona, AZ where they live together as lovers and have a shop that sells crystals and pictures of kittens. **Silence of the Lambs** - Clarice is actually Hannibal’s illegitimate daughter and carries on the family tradition! ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781/2 "2012-02-05T00:09:01Z")
Sonny was NOT gunned down at that tollbooth! It was all a clever ruse to get him into Witness Protection, and in six months he will return! But played by a different actor if the original actor’s contract isn’t worked out. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781/3 "2012-02-05T01:45:28Z")
In truth, everyone in _Citizen Kane_ knew what Rosebud was, but it was a deep, dark secret that no one would talk about. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781/4 "2012-02-05T02:32:32Z")
_Johnny Belinda_- It turns out her rapist wasn’t such a bad sort after all, and he proved so popular with females 18-49 that she married him in a splashy event in Rome and they became a super couple. _Gone With the Wind_- Bonnie Blue’s life is saved by teenaged surgeon Beau Wilkes and she goes to a special offscreen camp in Europe City, Europe to recuperate. When she comes back the next month she’s 18 and finds out that her parents have divorced and in order to save Tara Scarlett is now about to marry former overseer turned Bolivian drug lord and porn mogul Jonas Wilkerson. ---
**Author:** ![Postariti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Postariti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Postariti)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781/5 "2012-02-05T10:56:16Z")
Sampiro - you must be a true soap fan if you’re familiar with Europe City, Europe. Here’s mine - Star Wars - Princess Leia is Luke’s twin. His _evil_ twin! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-soap-opera-writers-wrote-movie-scripts-spoilers/611781/6 "2012-02-05T19:43:41Z")
> [@Postariti](#): > > Here’s mine - Star Wars - Princess Leia is Luke’s twin. His _evil_ twin! Evil twins are really popular. _Dead Ringers_? Let’s make them into evil quadruplets!