# If someone wants to commit suicide by mod, you should let them **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [November 25, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072 "2018-11-25T20:54:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/121 "2018-11-26T17:38:32Z")
Back to the OP as well. The totality of circumstances are always considered on whether to take quick decisive action or to let things simmer down. Personally, I prefer an approach that reacts slower, or provides more opportunity for changes in behavior. If there is a situation where there are multiple offenders of borderline-ish behavior, I’d rather tell veryone to cool it and live to fight another day rather than warn everyone. I’d prefer to take the least invasive approach so as to allow discussion to occur as organically as possible. I do have a fairly decent memory and that type of forbearance only extends once or twice. A poster I have great respect for mentioned something a while back - consistent and expected moderation, even just notes and less severe guidance, is more beneficial and effective than infrequent or inconsistent, yet more severe moderation. That’s the gist of what I got anyways. So yeah, some people flame out and go for suicide by mod, but not that often. And I’d still prefer people get a chance to reconsider so if we can stave that off with less severe intervention then that’s fine by me. Repeated attempts however won’t be overlooked. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/122 "2018-11-26T17:42:14Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > “Mouth breather” is just a roundabout way of calling someone mentally handicapped, because it’s quite strongly associated with Downs and cerebral palsy. So not \*that \*different, actually. > [@kayaker](#): > > Umm, no. To me, “mouth breather” is synonymous with “slack jawed yokel” except that SLY implies redneck ancestry and MB does not. Someone “standing around with their mouth agape” can be called a mouth breather, or, if you are in the southern US a “slack jawed yokel”. > > Neither term is complimentary, but neither implies any sort of mental defect. > > [Further discussion here.](https://ask.metafilter.com/131663/Are-mouthbreathers-really-dumb) It doesn’t really matter. I an neither a slack-jawed yokel nor do I have downs or cerebral palsy. What I do have is lousy nasal passages, and I often breathe through my mouth. And when a guy on my side of the political spectrum insulted people who (imo) deserved being insulted by calling them mouth breathers, it bothered me. Not because he was insulting them, but because he was implicitly insulting ME, too And that’s why it’s not okay to insult Michelle Obama by suggesting she is really a guy in drag. Not because it’s not okay to insult HER, but because it’s not okay to imply that it’s an intrinsically shameful thing to be a guy in drag. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/123 "2018-11-26T17:43:26Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > It’s similar to the way I can conclude that if an older local sheriff’s deputy in Mississippi refers to adult black men as “boy” is likely due to the person’s race rather than anything else. You are free to think it’s nuts. Your view on this matter is not ever going to be adopted by this message board. Your explanation actually SUPPORTS my position. The likely explanation in your Mississippi example has to do with race. In the Michelle Obama example, the most likely explanations as to why one might think she is a man go to her tallness and musculature, traits that are generally associated with maleness. Since color/race is NOT associated more with either maleness or femaleness, it makes no sense to assume that that that is part of the motivation of the person making the claim or joke. Why do you think it makes sense to do so? Also, I’d appreciate if you could address this: > [@magellan01](#): > > If I say that I think Leslie Jones might be a man, is that race-based? Hate based? Hate based toward a group? How about I say that I think the odds are MUCH greater than Leslie Jones is a man than, say, Kerry Washington? How about if I say that I think the odds that Michelle Obama has a penis is much greater than the odds that Kerry Washington has one? How does that fit into your calculus? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/124 "2018-11-26T17:52:09Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > Back to the OP as well. > > The totality of circumstances are always considered on whether to take quick decisive action or to let things simmer down. Personally, I prefer an approach that reacts slower, or provides more opportunity for changes in behavior. > > If there is a situation where there are multiple offenders of borderline-ish behavior, I’d rather tell veryone to cool it and live to fight another day rather than warn everyone. I’d prefer to take the least invasive approach so as to allow discussion to occur as organically as possible. > > I do have a fairly decent memory and that type of forbearance only extends once or twice. A poster I have great respect for mentioned something a while back - consistent and expected moderation, even just notes and less severe guidance, is more beneficial and effective than infrequent or inconsistent, yet more severe moderation. That’s the gist of what I got anyways. > > So yeah, some people flame out and go for suicide by mod, but not that often. And I’d still prefer people get a chance to reconsider so if we can stave that off with less severe intervention then that’s fine by me. Repeated attempts however won’t be overlooked. More than fair enough…but I still think all Mods should get to perform one free no-explanation-needed bannination per year as payment for a job well done. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/125 "2018-11-26T17:59:36Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > More than fair enough…but I still think all Mods should get to perform one free no-explanation-needed bannination per year as payment for a job well done. 😃 That is an absolutely terrible suggestion, but as this thread goes on, I’m starting to take a liking to it. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/126 "2018-11-26T19:03:15Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > lso, I’d appreciate if you could address this: Why do you insist that others entertain such vile, infantile nonsense? Is everyone supposed to giggle with glee and tweet “Leslie Jones is a dude” memes? You’re an embarrassment to actual conservatives. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/127 "2018-11-26T19:09:51Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Why do you insist that others entertain such vile, infantile nonsense? Is everyone supposed to giggle with glee and tweet “Leslie Jones is a dude” memes? You’re an embarrassment to actual conservatives. The bazillion Trump is bad orange Cheeto orangutan-gibbon-man hurr hurr hurr posts and threads aren’t orders of magnitude better. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/128 "2018-11-26T20:04:31Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > And notice how there is no “you” mentioned Anyone black is “you” in your own example. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/129 "2018-11-26T20:12:05Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > The bazillion Trump is bad orange Cheeto orangutan-gibbon-man hurr hurr hurr posts and threads aren’t orders of magnitude better. :rolleyes: Let me know when Leslie Jones has the ability to impact my life as much as Donald Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/130 "2018-11-26T20:22:00Z")
Melania and Ivanka Trump are both the same height as Michelle Obama. Do they get called men, on that basis? If not, why not? ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/131 "2018-11-26T20:54:18Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > The bazillion Trump is bad orange Cheeto orangutan-gibbon-man hurr hurr hurr posts and threads aren’t orders of magnitude better. I hereby apologize on behalf of all Trump-haters to all the posters here with spray-tans that look as ridiculous as the ones the President often has. That must be a tough row to hoe, they don’t need us mocking them. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/132 "2018-11-26T20:59:43Z")
Actually, I’ll go that way seriously: mocking someone, even a nasty piece of work like Trump, for their body is kind of a shitty thing to do. So the small-dick jokes, the orange-skin jokes, the fat jokes, the tiny-hands jokes – I’d be just as happy if all those went away. They’re cheap shots, and they’re not cool. But context matters. And when we live in a world where folks with orange skin are routinely murdered, and where their suicide rate is many times higher than that of other folks, and when they lose their jobs for having fake tans, then I’ll be as angry about those jokes as I am about transphobic jokes. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/133 "2018-11-26T21:36:44Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Actually, I’ll go that way seriously: mocking someone, even a nasty piece of work like Trump, for their body is kind of a shitty thing to do. So the small-dick jokes, the orange-skin jokes, the fat jokes, the tiny-hands jokes – I’d be just as happy if all those went away. They’re cheap shots, and they’re not cool. I agree, actually. Although I apologized for it, I doubt anyone can find me mocking his appearance more than maybe once. It seems a waste, when there are so many more significant things about him to mock. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/134 "2018-11-26T21:40:04Z")
I agree about body shaming and similar comments, even against vile people, and I wouldn’t have a problem with them being barred outside if the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/135 "2018-11-26T21:51:17Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I agree about body shaming and similar comments, even against vile people, and I wouldn’t have a problem with them being barred outside if the Pit. I’d be happy with all body-shaming banned period, not only because it’s morally wrong but because… _come on_, is that the _best_ you can do? ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/136 "2018-11-26T22:05:30Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > I’d be happy with all body-shaming banned period, not only because it’s morally wrong but because… _come on_, is that the _best_ you can do? Exactly. I actually find myself wincing about it from time to time, but then I remember how often Trump himself is guilty of it, so it’s hard to begrudge those who fight fire with fire. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/137 "2018-11-26T22:06:54Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Actually, I’ll go that way seriously: mocking someone, even a nasty piece of work like Trump, for their body is kind of a shitty thing to do. So the small-dick jokes, the orange-skin jokes, the fat jokes, the tiny-hands jokes – I’d be just as happy if all those went away. They’re cheap shots, and they’re not cool. On the other hand, Trump’s vanity knows no bounds, so I see nothing wrong with dinging him on anything he perceives as a physical flaw. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/138 "2018-11-26T22:10:40Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Actually, I’ll go that way seriously: mocking someone, even a nasty piece of work like Trump, for their body is kind of a shitty thing to do. So the small-dick jokes, the orange-skin jokes, the fat jokes, the tiny-hands jokes – I’d be just as happy if all those went away. They’re cheap shots, and they’re not cool. I’m with you on everything except the orange skin: IMO it’s fair game for criticism, just like a bad hairstyle should be, because it’s the person’s choices and actions that caused it. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/139 "2018-11-26T22:34:59Z")
When your eyes are surrounded by white rings where the glasses were, you built that. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2018, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072/140 "2018-11-26T22:41:54Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I’m with you on everything except the orange skin: IMO it’s fair game for criticism, just like a bad hairstyle should be, because it’s the person’s choices and actions that caused it. Yes, it’s abundantly fair to criticize the obvious narcissism (shown by the time and trouble devoted to getting spray-painted) and bad judgment (in thinking it looks good) on display. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-wants-to-commit-suicide-by-mod-you-should-let-them/825072.md?page=8)