# If Someone With Medical Issues Says "Don't Cook for Me" Don't Cook For Them! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 6, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141 "2019-04-06T19:42:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/81 "2019-04-11T20:39:13Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Whoops, **Broomie** already spoke for herself . . . Yeah… I do that sometimes… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/82 "2019-04-11T21:17:54Z")
I don’t like beets. I have no idea if I am allergic to beets. I don’t eat them. Fortunately, for me, it’s fairly tough to hide beets in things you make. But, I spit out the very first mouthful of beets I was ever given. I also spit out the second. My mother, a kind woman, never bothered to give me beets again. I was a cook in several jobs I had in my life, and cooked beets for other people. I don’t taste test beets when I cook them, but I was assured by those who did taste the beets that they were quite good. I tell the folks who get insistent about feeding me beets the story of the first and second mouthfuls of beets. Then if they still insistent, I warn them that I would spit the third mouthful AT THEM. So far, that’s worked without actually putting the vile things in my mouth. I am glad, because I don’t like beets. Or pushy assholes, either. Tris * * * Don’t know the puking smiley. Imagine it here. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/83 "2019-04-11T21:48:33Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Yes it is. They’re _asking_ for it. > > 😃 In their laps. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/84 "2019-04-12T02:40:12Z")
I used to have a colleague allergic to all forms of tomatoes. It only takes one time to try to catch someone 6’10", 275 pounds, as he collapses and I try to save him from a head injury and admister an EpiPen. Please just remake the burger without catsup and tomato slices. My heart and shoulders can’t manage that! (And I’m allergic to freaking pepper. I never eat the office potluck, and avoid most chain restaurants, because it’s the commonest ingredient in everything. It took 45 years to convince my own mom that I’m actually allergic, not picky. But it shouldn’t have required an ER visit to convince the stubborn old broad that I’m actually allergic, and hiding white peppercorn in the sauce won’t help me overcome the issue!) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/85 "2019-04-12T09:33:57Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > I have no idea if I am allergic to beets. I don’t eat them. Fortunately, for me, it’s fairly tough to hide beets in things you make. Are you aware that beet juice is becoming more and more common as a natural food coloring? If it’s extreme dislike rather than allergy/intolerance that might not matter because if there isn’t sufficient beet juice to alter the flavor you likely won’t care, but if it is an allergy/intolerance you should beware of unspecified “natural coloring” even vaguely red/purplish. This is why I fully support accurate labels on any food product. I get irritated at “natural flavors” and “natural colors” not further specified. Actually, I get pissed. More and more I’m having to write to companies and ask “does that include X, Y, or Z?” I also get tired of explaining why an order of McDonald’s fries can be safer for my health than someone’s “all natural” whatever it is. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/86 "2019-04-12T13:14:51Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Why do you assume I am NOT doing that? Seriously, where did you get that notion? Because I’m pretty sure I mentioned in post #6 that I used to pass these things on to my spouse, and I’m sure as hell not going to eat something that might kill me so yeah, in the trash it goes. > > The extreme upset is the PUSHINESS. It’s not enough to just accept it, she wants to see me eat it in front of her. AND there’s that bit (in post 6, again) about banging on my door to wake me up after I’m already in bed - and YES, she knows I go to work before dawn she has commented on it numerous times. Every damn person on my side of the building knows that half the week I’m leaving for work at 4:30 am because they have mentioned it to me. Which I don’t freakin’ care about, we all have a pretty good notion of who works when around here but if you know someone is leaving for work that early, and it’s after dark, and their apartment is dark WHY ARE YOU BANGING ON THEIR DOOR? Something had better be on fucking _fire_ or somebody’s broken a leg or the police want us to evacuate or something. > > Also, while I’m quite polite and courteous in real life sometimes something annoys the fuck out of me and that’s why I come here to vent, where I’m anonymous and won’t hurt anyone by doing so. What I got the notion of, from the op, was that you were refusing the gift (which upset her), and that your internal reaction to this, expressed or not, is to be unhappy, angry, and “as annoyed as fuck.” Banging on your door after reasonable hours is something else. Me, I find being as “annoyed as fuck” to be _work that I avoid_, saving it for those who are of ill-intent, or at least whose stupidity is causing real harm. (My having to throw something away is not in that real harm category to me.) Maybe some enjoy being annoyed as fuck, I dunno. But to me someone _trying_ to be nice and say thank you with a very unwanted gift would not be worth my spending energy being upset over. Your mileage varies. As to “banging” on your door? You stated “after dark” … depending on the time of year that could be 7:30. Not sure how at an apartment door she knows your lights are off, but if I was stopping by a neighbor’s house before 9 I would not assume that just because the lights are off in the front room that they are not up and home more towards the back. And personally I don’t keep my neighbors’ work schedules stored in my phone let alone as an item to pay much attention to and clutter my brain up with. Half the time I don’t remember my neighbor’s names. (My wife remembers everyone’s though, store clerks she’s met once before even! It’s a gift.) To me life is easier when I assume stupidity over malice unless there is very strong evidence otherwise. And speaking only for myself I don’t have the energy to get upset over every bit of well intended stupidity. You must just be much more energetic than me I guess! No question if the neighbor insisted that I ate her food in front of her I’d be very straightforward and tell her that I actually had really meant it when I stated that I do not eat things that I have not personally prepared and cannot do that. I wouldn’t do anything I felt might compromise my health to be polite. But the behavior of trying to force food on me that I don’t want would not upset me, it would just make me remember and miss my bubbie, who would not take no for an answer over eating her matzah balls that were just horrible (her kreplach OTOH was to die for). But sure, enjoy your outrage! Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/87 "2019-04-12T14:29:50Z")
My first reaction on reading your latest reply, **DSeid** , was to say, gee, I wish I was perfect like you. On re-reading, I don’t think you meant to sound so smug and dismissive, but I am just letting you know that you did sound that way. Just FYI. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/88 "2019-04-12T15:11:02Z")
Not intended to sound that way. It does however seem to me that getting angry at or about people who are acting without malice and causing no harm is … something I’ve seen some of siblings do often and they end up spending much of their time stewing over one thing or another offended and annoyed. Talk to my wife and she will gladly give you the long list of how I am very far from perfect! The least of which is my not remembering people’s names. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/89 "2019-04-12T18:44:39Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Not intended to sound that way. It does however seem to me that getting angry at or about people who are acting without malice _ **and causing no harm** _ is … something I’ve seen some of siblings do often and they end up spending much of their time stewing over one thing or another offended and annoyed. You horse’s ass, is your idea of causing no harm up until Broomstick eats something she shouldn’t, that she has told the other party that she shouldn’t be served, and fucking almost dies? That’s attempted murder in my book. And try to not paint everybody with the same paintbrush as your dysfunctional family. Some people have real problems. > [@DSeid](#): > > But sure, enjoy your outrage! Carry on. Kindly fuck off, Dr S. What others can see from these posts is that, while medical doctors often deserve our respect, it’s not all of them and it’s not all of the time. I used to like and respect you, but that is no longer a blanket reaction. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/90 "2019-04-12T19:42:38Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > You horse’s ass, is your idea of causing no harm up until Broomstick eats something she shouldn’t, that she has told the other party that she shouldn’t be served, and fucking almost dies? That’s attempted murder in my book. And try to not paint everybody with the same paintbrush as your dysfunctional family. Some people have real problems. > > Kindly fuck off, Dr S. What others can see from these posts is that, while medical doctors often deserve our respect, it’s not all of them and it’s not all of the time. I used to like and respect you, but that is no longer a blanket reaction. Pray tell me kind sir or madam, what _harm_ has been caused by the op taking a plate of food from her door to the garbage disposal? The only harm was her getting as “annoyed as fuck”. And no the neighbor who wanted to express her thanks did not serve **Broomstick** some specific thing that she was told to not serve her. **Broomstick** is just not willing to take any chances with food that she has not prepared herself, which is completely reasonable. If such is your definition of _attempted murder_ then your book is an odd fantasy novel indeed. I understand the seriousness of significant food allergies and even other less significant food sensitivities. I’d personally be very pissed if someone told me a seafood stew had no mussels in it so I ate it, as mussels are a trigger of extremely bad migraines for me. (Not an allergy.) And those migraines only make me hyperbolically wish I was dead but are not actually “serious” like many other reactions are. Though I’d be as pissed at myself for having not realized I was trusting an idiot. Those with serious reactions are correct to not trust too many others to not be idiots. This is not that sort of circumstance. But yes your post illustrates the truth of your point: some people have real problems. Also please clarify. “Fuck off”? … are you wanting me to engage in such vigorous lovemaking that I fall _off_ the bed or what? ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/91 "2019-04-12T20:21:33Z")
Oh. Please also note. I do not ask for or deserve “blanket respect” from anyone and give it to no one. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/92 "2019-04-12T20:31:58Z")
Can’t speak for anyone else, but wasting food offends the hell out of me and yeah, I’d be pretty pissed off if someone I’ve already told not to push food on me insisted on doing so to the point where my only recourse is to either waste food or deal with their huffing and puffing because I won’t eat the shit. Thanks for making me complicit in something I consider to be offensive in order to spare your overly sensitive butthole getting all in a chafe over not being allowed to bestow your largess there, neighbor! You’re a fucking peach. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/93 "2019-04-12T22:47:41Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > What I got the notion of, from the op, was that you were refusing the gift (which upset her), and that your internal reaction to this, expressed or not, is to be unhappy, angry, and “as annoyed as fuck.” > > Banging on your door after reasonable hours is something else. > > Me, I find being as “annoyed as fuck” to be _work that I avoid_, saving it for those who are of ill-intent, or at least whose stupidity is causing real harm. Wow, must be nice to have Vulcan-like control over your emotions. While I can suppress my angry urges and be polite to idiots, assholes, and jackasses that is mere _suppression_. I am able to admit that those people still piss me off even if I can control my expression and external reactions. But hey, continuous to be sanctimonious because you’re so superior. Me, I prefer ranting anonymously on a message board to blowing off steam by getting drunk or high or some other unhealthy thing. > [@](#): > > As to “banging” on your door? You stated “after dark” … depending on the time of year that could be 7:30. Not sure how at an apartment door she knows your lights are off, but if I was stopping by a neighbor’s house before 9 I would not assume that just because the lights are off in the front room that they are not up and home more towards the back. My current residence is two rooms and a kitchen. The front of the unit is 1 door and 2 windows with just the minimal bit of wall to either side required to anchor the windows/doors so even with the shades drawn if there’s a light on you can tell. If you’re standing at the door lights in the front room and kitchen are visible. If not, then either I’m in the bedroom with the lights on or the lights off. The other things is that she lives directly below me and complains that my merely walking across the floor when I get up in the morning wakes her up. She also complains that my showering at 4:30 am wakes her up… except that I shower at night, before bed (or take a hot, soaking bath) and by 4:30 am I’m gone on a work day. Now there IS another person who is also up/going to work at that hour, on the first floor adjacent to both our apartments and that person DOES shower between 4-4:30 am - because if I’m in the bathroom I can hear the water running in their bathroom. But only if I’m in the bathroom, not in any other room of the apartment. > [@](#): > > And personally I don’t keep my neighbors’ work schedules stored in my phone let alone as an item to pay much attention to and clutter my brain up with. You probably do not live in a building composed of small one and two bedroom apartments. It’s a bit unavoidable to NOT notice these things. > [@](#): > > To me life is easier when I assume stupidity over malice unless there is very strong evidence otherwise. And speaking only for myself I don’t have the energy to get upset over every bit of well intended stupidity. You must just be much more energetic than me I guess! Or else I pay more attention to things that might actually harm me - like food. I _don’t_ give a fuck over noisy neighbors, local kids swearing, and a lot of other annoyances in this neighborhood that apparently get a lot of other people bent out of shape. The downstairs lady is someone with it seems no noise tolerance, no tolerance for kids being kids (in a harmless manner), and basically is ill suited to living in this environment. > [@](#): > > But the behavior of trying to force food on me that I don’t want would not upset me, it would just make me remember and miss my bubbie, who would not take no for an answer over eating her matzah balls that were just horrible (her kreplach OTOH was to die for). Yeah, well I don’t enjoy people trying to force stuff on my that _could literally kill me_. How would you feel about someone trying to get you to eat rat poison? Or drink lye? > [@DSeid](#): > > Pray tell me kind sir or madam, what _harm_ has been caused by the op taking a plate of food from her door to the garbage disposal? Why do you assume I have a “garbage disposal”? Because I don’t. The only place I can put such food is in my kitchen garbage can… which means I get to smell what is, to me, poison until such time as I empty the garbage. Or I suppose I could march the poison to the dumpster in front of the old biddy - but I really don’t want the sort of public screaming match that could ensue, especially if it’s on a night the downstairs neighbor is drunk. Which happens a couple times a week. What harm could it do? Well, tomato juice on my skin generates a rash with a remarkable resemblance to poison ivy. Takes weeks to heal up, looks like hell, feels miserable, and that’s assuming it doesn’t get infected. Fortunately that is the only allergy I have that bad. > [@SmartAleq](#): > > Can’t speak for anyone else, but wasting food offends the hell out of me and yeah, I’d be pretty pissed off if someone I’ve already told not to push food on me insisted on doing so to the point where my only recourse is to either waste food or deal with their huffing and puffing because I won’t eat the shit. Thanks for making me complicit in something I consider to be offensive in order to spare your overly sensitive butthole getting all in a chafe over not being allowed to bestow your largess there, neighbor! You’re a fucking peach. ^ And this. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/94 "2019-04-12T23:19:26Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Pray tell me kind sir or madam, what _harm_ has been caused by the op taking a plate of food from her door to the garbage disposal? The only harm was her getting as “annoyed as fuck”. > > And no the neighbor who wanted to express her thanks did not serve **Broomstick** some specific thing that she was told to not serve her. **Broomstick** is just not willing to take any chances with food that she has not prepared herself, which is completely reasonable. > [@Broomstick](#): > > Awhile back I did my new downstairs neighbor a favor. I told her there was no need to repay me. She insists. **She insists by trying to cook for me even though I have explained I have very, very serious food allergies and really, please, DO NOT do this…**. > > Despite my continued pleas NOT to bring food to me the downstairs neighbor insists on doing this AND gets irate when I refuse the offer. > [@Broomstick](#): > > The extreme upset is the PUSHINESS. **It’s not enough to just accept it, she wants to see me eat it in front of her.** > [@Dseid](#): > > If such is your definition of _attempted murder_ then your book is an odd fantasy novel indeed. Perhaps you prefer assault? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/95 "2019-04-12T23:39:18Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Yep. Tomatoes are one of my worst allergies. And they’re in every damn thing it seems like. Can you eat potatoes? I have a friend who is deathly allergic to all the nightshades – tomato, potato, eggplant. I do sometimes cook for him. Well, I cook for a group that he’s a part of. I’m careful to tell him the ingredients, and he can usually partake. But he tells me that “gluten free” means “deadly food”, because usually the gluten is at least partially replaced with potato flour. I confess that I pride myself in being able to cook for friends with a variety of dietary restrictions. But I cook very carefully. I bought the brand of tomato sauce with no added sugar for the diabetic, and made the frosting with no corn syrup for the woman who is sensitive to corn. And I told the vegan that I’d had to sift beetles out of my flour, and she chose not to eat the resulting food. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/96 "2019-04-12T23:46:43Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Can you eat potatoes? I have a friend who is deathly allergic to all the nightshades – tomato, potato, eggplant. I do sometimes cook for him. Tomatoes are the only member of the nightshade family that causes me a problem. I happily eat potatoes and eggplants… except it’s hard to find an eggplant recipe that doesn’t have tomato in it for some reason… I long ago gave up figuring any rhyme or reason to my list of food allergies. I can eat such major allergens as dairy and fish and shellfish and tree nuts with no problem. Tomatoes? Barley? Lentils? WTF? I handed a list of my food allergies to a doctor once. He read the note, got a puzzled look on his face, and asked “what do all of these have in common?” Near as I can tell, the only thing they all have in common is that I’m allergic to them… ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/97 "2019-04-13T01:09:29Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Are you aware that beet juice is becoming more and more common as a natural food coloring? I suppose if, for some reason I wanted make a beet out of something that didn’t already look like a beet, in terms of color, that would be the “natural” choice. My food already has natural colors, and aside from making rice with saffron, and mixing red tart cherry juice with my lemonade I don’t color much of my food. Oh, I do brown my food. I don’t use brown stuff, though. I use butter, and fire, and iron, or steel. When my greens get to where they aren’t green, I throw them out, after castigating myself for letting them get that way. I then get new greens that are already green. Of course, my blueberries are not actually blue, and my blackberries are not actually black. I prefer them that way. I also always ask if they actually have inorganic bananas, or eggs. Or if the free range eggs ever get away. I do stick with brands of eggs where the yolks are dark yellow. I suppose that counts as coloring my Key Lime pie. It comes out yellow. Some idiots think it’s suppose to be green. I used to be able to get oranges that were not orange, when I got them from orange farmers. They are sort of green, mostly, with a bit of orange and brown. The orange ones are dyed. I like my food food colored. Tris * * * Margarine was invented to fatten chickens and turkeys. But it killed them, so we give it to people now. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/98 "2019-04-13T02:52:16Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Perhaps you prefer assault? Nah. A bit a pepper would be better. Thanks. Broomstick no Vulcan control needed. More being lazy enough to not make the effort to work myself up. Being angry for more than a short flare takes work. It takes discipline to keep it stoked that I guess I just don’t have for things like someone trying to say thanks but ignoring my request regarding how to say it. But I’m used to being ignored. Seriously I just don’t sweat it. I do also want to comment on the calling me a horse’s ass. No horse claims possession of me. I’m my dog’s ass, my wife’s ass, my kids’ ass, but no horse’s. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/99 "2019-04-13T04:36:55Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Tomatoes are the only member of the nightshade family that causes me a problem. I happily eat potatoes and eggplants… except it’s hard to find an eggplant recipe that doesn’t have tomato in it for some reason… > > I long ago gave up figuring any rhyme or reason to my list of food allergies. I can eat such major allergens as dairy and fish and shellfish and tree nuts with no problem. Tomatoes? Barley? Lentils? WTF? > > I handed a list of my food allergies to a doctor once. He read the note, got a puzzled look on his face, and asked “what do all of these have in common?” > > Near as I can tell, the only thing they all have in common is that I’m allergic to them… Yeah, that’s a pretty weird list of allergies. And it’s a lot of my staples, too. My SIL is sensitive to a weird list of foods, but yours is weirder. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141/100 "2019-04-13T06:07:09Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Broomstick no Vulcan control needed. More being lazy enough to not make the effort to work myself up. Being angry for more than a short flare takes work. It takes discipline to keep it stoked that I guess I just don’t have for things like someone trying to say thanks but ignoring my request regarding how to say it. . This is nonsense. Anger gives you energy. It tells your sympathetic nervous system to produce adrenaline, which provides you with excess energy. It actually takes more mental effort to shut down anger, whether by distraction or by deliberately calming down. The anger **Broomstick** is experiencing is not excessive. She is not becoming violent or even aggressive in person. And her choice to discuss the issue with acquaintances and friends who can both commiserate and provide a possible solution is a healthy way to deal with what she is feeling. She’s coping with her anger and redirecting it into something productive. Simply calming down, if you can do so, is not without merit, but it doesn’t stop an ongoing problem. And ongoing problems have a way of making someone angrier the more they recur. Your description of the neighbor is inaccurate. She is not “trying to say thanks.” She is attempting to control another person. She knows she is unwelcome, but persists in an attempt to make the person do what she wants them to do. It is probably not attempted murder, since she likely does not believe **Broomstick** and thus has no intent of killing her. There’s a possibility of assault, if she ever throws food at her or threatens to do that (or worse) at any point. But **Broomstick** ’s reluctance to be impolite suggests otherwise. But she is definitely guilty of harassment, as well as possibly trespassing, assuming she attempts to give this food by entering **Broomstick** ’s property. **Broomstick** could, if she so chose, get a restraining order, though I would recommend attempting other ideas first. **Broomstick** has no reason to listen to someone who has no idea what he is talking about and makes “recommendations” that are thinly veiled attacks. There is a reason why you are the extreme minority in this thread. Even **D’Anconia** didn’t go there. When even the troll knows that would be a step too far, maybe you should fine a clue. And, yes, I am goddamned fucking lecturing. My tone is fucking patronizing. Because I’m explaining the goddamned fucking basics to a goddamned fucking asshole. He doesn’t want respect; he doesn’t get it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-someone-with-medical-issues-says-dont-cook-for-me-dont-cook-for-them/832141.md?page=6)