# If that aint F'in I'll take the chair **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 28, 2016, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311 "2016-04-28T03:36:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311/1 "2016-04-28T03:36:51Z")
Does anybody remember a joke that ended with a rhyming sequence like; …bobbin up in the air and If that aint F’in I’ll take the chair It was about someone in a trial who was asked to describe an event and he says “They was F’in” again and again until he is threatened with punishment for being obscene, when he lets forth with a rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![EmbarrassingDad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/embarrassingdad/32/5441_2.png) [@EmbarrassingDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmbarrassingDad)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311/2 "2016-04-28T05:59:25Z")
It sounds vaguely familiar but I can’t recall it. I’ll give you a bump because I’d like to, however. ETA: David Allan Coe? I doubt it but that’s kinda what comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311/3 "2016-04-28T06:34:53Z")
> [@dirty1](#): > > It sounds vaguely familiar but I can’t recall it. > > I’ll give you a bump because I’d like to, however. > > ETA: David Allan Coe? I doubt it but that’s kinda what comes to mind. Not it’s an old rural dirty joke, maybe in the northeast. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311/4 "2016-04-28T20:07:03Z")
Here’s one that has to be close. 3 men were arrested for having sex in the park with their girlfriends; and the all appear in front of the judge of the small town. Judge asks the first guy. “What were you doing?” He says “Judge, we was fuckin!” The judge says “That’s $10 and 10 days in jail for cussing in my courtroom!” Judge asks the second guy. “What were you doing?” He says “Judge, we was fuckin!” The judge says “That’s $10 and 10 days in jail for cussing in my courtroom!” Judge asks the third guy “What were you doing?” The third guy (who has wised up watching the first two) says “Ten toes up, and ten toes down. Two little laughs, going round and round, legs come open, dick slides in; If you don’t call that fuckin’, yo can charge me 10!” ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311/5 "2016-04-28T20:09:23Z")
Wow, if you google “ten toes up ten toes down joke” you’ll see a bunch of variations on that joke. [http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Funny.woa/wa/funny?fn=C1D6E](http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Funny.woa/wa/funny?fn=C1D6E) ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-aint-fin-ill-take-the-chair/753311/6 "2016-04-28T22:12:55Z")
Well that’s the idea. I like my version better, he’s been threatened with capital punishment so he’s got to think of something fast. “Two little legs way up in the air If that ain’t fuckin’ I’ll take the chair” It’s funnier than charge me 10, to me anyway. Wonder why mine isn’t googlable.