# If that motherf\*\*\*\*ing PAPERCLIP FROM HELL pops up one more time... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 2, 2003, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181 "2003-01-02T10:14:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/1 "2003-01-02T10:14:42Z")
If that motherf\*\*\*\*ing PAPERCLIP FROM HELL pops up one more time I’M gonna throw this computer out the window. I HATE that MOTHERF\*\*\*ER. If I ever meet it in person I am going to commit homiside err clipiside err whatever the legal term for that is. Ok, so you’re sitting there, typing something in M$Word, minding you’re own business when WTF that F_**ER pops up and says something like “It looks like you’re writing a letter. Would you like help (etc)” NO I DO NOT WANT HELP!!! Hey, there’s a check box for “Do not Show this help again” COOL! So you click it, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW? A little while later: Heeeeeeeeeeeees Back! For something completly unrelated to WHATEVER it is you are doing. M$ Access is even worse. That DAMN paperclip pops up MUCH more randomly and with even MORE absurdly unrelated “suggestions” or “help” than what that MFPOS “suggests” in M$Word. WTF??? So you switch over to making web pages in M$ Frontpage, and think you’re FINALY safe. Are you? HELL NO! The Mother F**_er POPS UP AGAIN! I seriously think I am getting cyber stalked by a F\*\*\*ING PAPERCLIP. ARRGGGHH!!! Why The F\*\*\* did Billy decide to torment us with that? Did he design it so that all the F_ **ING 6-year-olds that actually needed help could get it? Or does he just love to torment us? I greatly WISH one of the selections was "GO TO HELL YOU MOTHERF** _ING PIECE OF S\*\*\*!", but sadly there is none. Usually, I have that MOTHERF\*\*\*ER disabled through the settings, but I am using a friend’s computer right now. Still though, even if you _think_ you have the PAPERCLIP FROM HELL completly disabled, it STILL finds some way to pop up when you least expect it, to torment you some more. In conclusion…Billy-Bob Gates, WTF were you thinking??? \*The \*'s added by me because I prefer not to swear in “public” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/2 "2003-01-02T10:22:17Z")
Wicked f\*\*\*ing rant. As soon as I saw the thread title, I knew what you meant and went, “YEAH!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/3 "2003-01-02T10:32:16Z")
[His name is Clippy.](http://www.microsoft.com/office/clippy/) I agree, someone needs to straighten him out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/4 "2003-01-02T10:33:34Z")
It looks like you’re trying to rant! Would you like some help? [insert exaggerated movement/blinking here] ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/5 "2003-01-02T10:33:45Z")
Preach it!! Yes!! I have my little beasties in the help menus in the “hide” setting (Win98). But I stardamned HATE Clippy!! Bloody good rant. More of 'em, I say! Power to you, **Biohazard**!! ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/6 "2003-01-02T10:33:47Z")
TY 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/7 "2003-01-02T10:36:04Z")
And now that I have been presented with additional information let me formally say: DIE CLIPPY DIE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/8 "2003-01-02T10:39:26Z")
It looks like you’re trying to rant! Would you like some help? [insert exaggerated movement/blinking here] ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/9 "2003-01-02T10:41:53Z")
Oh, balls. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/10 "2003-01-02T10:45:45Z")
That link is pure evil. Voice by Gilbert Gottfried? :eek: Go over to the side menus and go up and down with the pointer, you’ll find that Clippy says “All your base are belong to us”. Double :eek: Clippy should be euthanised for his own good. ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/11 "2003-01-02T10:46:06Z")
Thats a really weird multi-post, **Erroneous** how did you manage that? And yes, any help offered would be greatly appreciated. Oh hell, ive been awake for too many damn days…I think I should try to sleep. That damn paperclip haunts my dreams… ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/12 "2003-01-02T10:58:18Z")
seriously…ack…Its bad enough when my work follows me home to envade my dreams, but why the f\*\*\* does it have to bring it’s inbred redneck cousin, “Clippy” along??? ---
**Author:** ![Reuben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Reuben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reuben)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/13 "2003-01-02T11:09:30Z")
**BioHazard** , maybe this will help : [http://reviews.zdnet.co.uk/review/43/1/1543.html](http://reviews.zdnet.co.uk/review/43/1/1543.html) I seem to remember Bill Gates ‘sacking’ Clippy at some industry event or other, but the little git still somehow made it into Office XP. Ah yes, [here it is](http://www.microsoft.com/billgates/speeches/2001/05-31officexplaunch.asp) : > [@](#): > > **BILL GATES** : Thank you. Well, Clippy did his job right up to the end. He even helped me write the letter informing him that he was fired… ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/14 "2003-01-02T11:28:00Z")
Right-click on Clippy. Options. Checkbox in upper left saying use/do not use Clippy. Uncheck/check it. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/15 "2003-01-02T11:28:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF \* > \*\*That link is pure evil. > > Go over to the side menus and go up and down with the pointer, you’ll find that Clippy says “All your base are belong to us”.\*\* I just got “At least I’m not a sock puppet”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/16 "2003-01-02T11:29:01Z")
My browser timed out on the “thank you for posting” screen, so I clicked ‘refresh’, and then remembered that I’m not supposed to do that, because it’ll result in a double-post. Hence the “balls”. Incidentally, on an Australian comedy show last year (called CNNNN, and sort of like a TV version of The Onion), they had a bit where a guy dressed up in a Clippy costume and went around to various places in public, asking random people “It looks like you’re trying to write a letter! Would you like some help?” He got some good responses. One guy looked at him blankly for a second, and then said “Ohhh! I know who you are! You’re that fucking paperclip!”, and then proceeded to punch Clippy-man. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/17 "2003-01-02T11:32:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joey G \* > **I agree, someone needs to straighten him out.** [Someone has.](http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000721) ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/18 "2003-01-02T12:24:42Z")
[http://laugh.or.die.net/microsoft/assistant.gif](http://laugh.or.die.net/microsoft/assistant.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/19 "2003-01-02T12:38:46Z")
[SIZE = 1]I thought he was kind of cute. [/SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181/20 "2003-01-02T12:39:57Z")
DAMMIT, I wasn’t supposed to say it that loud! Maybe it’s just that I need Clippy’s help. Or somebody’s, for God’s sake. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-that-motherf-ing-paperclip-from-hell-pops-up-one-more-time/146181.md?page=2)