# If the Cardinals' plane crashes...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-cardinals-plane-crashes/483217>\
**Category:** The Game Room\
**Created:** [January 27, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-cardinals-plane-crashes/483217 "2009-01-27T13:13:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-cardinals-plane-crashes/483217/21 "2009-01-31T04:24:10Z")

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> [@Bootis](#):
>
> They’d play- Ben Rothlisberger would be the alltime designated QB. He would have to promise to try equally hard for both teams. The surviving player from the crash, whoever’s in a wheelchair, would play and wouldn’t allowed to be touched, but he will be given the ball and will wheel himself to a touchdown, everyone cries. Cut to commercial, Eli and Peyton Manning licking Oreos.

That person in the wheelchair would have to be Ben himself…that way the media can once again adulate over his “illness/he almost died/appendectomy/104 degree fever/what a hero for gutting it out with a sore thumb” hero meme.

God I hate that guy. I hope somebody on the Cardinals puts him and Whines Hard onto the same ambulance. Preferably with only game-ending injuries, not career-threatening ones. I want to see them humiliated again, the smug-faced fuckheads.

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**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-cardinals-plane-crashes/483217/22 "2009-01-31T10:14:58Z")

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> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> My guess is that someone would blame the Steelers.

I’d check the plane’s mechanics for connections to the Rooneys first.

Then I’d blame the Steelers, either way.

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**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-cardinals-plane-crashes/483217/23 "2009-01-31T16:29:29Z")

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Logically, the Cardinals should still be permitted to play, by signing available free agents or activating inactive players who weren’t on the plane, as emergency “injury” replacements.

This probably is not what would happen; in all likelihood they’d cancel the game.

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**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-cardinals-plane-crashes/483217/24 "2009-01-31T20:07:04Z")

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> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> My guess is that someone would blame the Steelers.

Nah.

Steeler _fans_, on the other hand. They’d probably find some of those stupid fucking towels in the plane’s engines.

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