# If the election was held tomorrow **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [April 9, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268 "2015-04-09T22:35:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/1 "2015-04-09T22:35:47Z")
Let’s say a bizarre warp in the time-space continuum opened up and as a result the 2016 Presidential election was held tomorrow. For legal reasons, only candidates who have already announced their candidacy are able to run - no write-ins. So meet your candidates: [Jeff Boss](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Boss) [Ted Cruz](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Cruz) [Mark Everson](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Everson) [Jack Fellure](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Fellure) [Zoltan Istvan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoltan_Istvan) [Terry Jones](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Jones_(pastor)) [Rand Paul](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rand_Paul) [Vermin Supreme](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermin_Supreme) [Robby Wells](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robby_Wells) Out of that list, who would you vote for? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/2 "2015-04-09T22:55:17Z")
Zoltan. How is this even a question? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/3 "2015-04-09T23:03:06Z")
Since I can’t find much about Zoltan’s political platforms (and whether or not he’s a crazy person), the only definitely non-crazy candidate is Mark Everson (who seems like an accomplished and relatively serious person). So I’ll go with Everson. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/4 "2015-04-09T23:35:35Z")
Everson combines executive branch experience, a platform, and the platform doesn’t scream “No just no but HELLLLLLL NO!” Istvan is the only other one that even passes the intitial worth more searching screen. Everson. Fellure can have my booze and my porn when… ummm something about prying from fingers but I’ll omit the details. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/5 "2015-04-10T00:12:20Z")
Vermin’s got my vote! ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/6 "2015-04-10T00:18:25Z")
Terry Jones, even if he was the most forgetable Python. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/7 "2015-04-10T00:30:02Z")
> [@DinoR](#): > > Everson combines executive branch experience, a platform, and the platform doesn’t scream “No just no but HELLLLLLL NO!” That’s pretty much my thinking. I don’t agree with much of Everson’s platform but he seems like the only grown-up who’s talking about serious political issues. Which is pretty sad when you consider that puts him ahead of two Senators. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/8 "2015-04-10T00:58:34Z")
Wait, there’s actually a real person named [Zoltan](http://www.diablowiki.net/Zoltun_Kulle) [Istvan](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=uncle+istvan)? And there’s a chance that he hasn’t already gone insane? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/9 "2015-04-10T02:22:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Wait, there’s actually a real person named [Zoltan](http://www.diablowiki.net/Zoltun_Kulle) [Istvan](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=uncle+istvan)? And there’s a chance that he hasn’t already gone insane? He’s a transhumanist, so, no, there isn’t. Vermin Supreme is of sounder mind. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/10 "2015-04-10T04:25:33Z")
I like Vermin Supreme’s Zombie Apocalypse awareness program. It isn’t quite right on, but we Do need to prepare for the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/11 "2015-04-10T04:46:38Z")
Well, I for one mistook Zoltan Istvan for Zaphod Beeblebrox. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/12 "2015-04-10T06:43:08Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Wait, there’s actually a real person named [Zoltan](http://www.diablowiki.net/Zoltun_Kulle) [Istvan](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=uncle+istvan)? And there’s a chance that he hasn’t already gone insane? Not to kill the joke, but both are actually very common Hungarian first names, with Istvan meaning “Steven.” (It is unusual, though, as neither are typically surnames.) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/13 "2015-04-10T07:10:11Z")
Vermin Supreme I guess. Even if he got nothing done, all the others seem to be _actively bad_ (including Mark Everson and his plan to bring back slavery). Maybe Zoltan Istvan isn’t terrible, but I’d have to understand what the hell he was saying before making that decision. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/14 "2015-04-10T11:27:58Z")
Dude, Supreme is offering everyone a pony. How can that be argued with? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/15 "2015-04-10T12:32:50Z")
> [@Jonathan\_Chance](#): > > Dude, Supreme is offering everyone a pony. > > How can that be argued with? N.B.: You can’t rely on government for everything; you have to cook it yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/16 "2015-04-10T15:41:06Z")
Everson seems to be the least Conservative among those not actively crazy, and while I might prefer Zoltan’s or Vermin Supreme’s politics on controversial issues, I trust Everson more with the day to day functioning of the government. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/17 "2015-04-10T16:27:36Z")
Vermin Supreme…I love the name. Besides, JC says he’s offering a free pony in every pot, so that seals the deal. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/18 "2015-04-10T17:21:04Z")
Probably Vermin Supreme. I’m dead serious. Even though I’m a registered Democrat I will not vote for Clinton. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/19 "2015-04-10T18:49:39Z")
All hail Zoltan the Transhumanist! ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268/20 "2015-04-10T19:02:33Z")
The only people on the list that I recognize are people I don’t particularly care for. I suppose I’ll go with Vermin Supreme for entertainment value alone. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-election-was-held-tomorrow/717268.md?page=2)