# If the, er, Holy Trinity was a band, what instruments would they play? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 14, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906 "2013-11-14T14:11:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/1 "2013-11-14T14:11:37Z")
To me, God the father has to be a drummer/percussioist. He’s the sturm and drang, he brings the noise! Jesus? Lead guitar? Floutist? The Holy Spirit? Really, all I can think of is the triangle, normally part of the persussionists, but the Spirit is kind of like the Vice President of Gods. You know, no real responsibilities or duties beyind the ceremonial and tie-breaking votes. The triangle is just the least intrusive instrument I can conceive of. I know they need a bass player, but I can’t see the Spirit as being it. So maybe they can bring in a session player like Archangel Michael or somebody? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/2 "2013-11-14T14:18:20Z")
The Father = bass and drums; holding it down The Son = lead guitar and vocals. Learned from Dad, but taking it to new levels, out in front The Holy Spirit = synthies - c’mon, when you need a bit of strings, or other bits of sugar here and there to bring the overall sound together, who’re you gonna call? 😉 Fun idea for a thread if kept silly and light. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/3 "2013-11-14T14:22:57Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The triangle is just the least intrusive instrument I can conceive of. Plus, it’s, y’know, a triangle. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/4 "2013-11-14T14:23:54Z")
> [@](#): > > I know they need a bass player, but I can’t see the Spirit as being it. the holy spirit is totally playing standup bass IMO. almost motionless but for those hands… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/5 "2013-11-14T14:26:54Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > The Father = bass and drums; holding it down > > The Son = lead guitar and vocals. Learned from Dad, but taking it to new levels, out in front > > The Holy Spirit = synthies - c’mon, when you need a bit of strings, or other bits of sugar here and there to bring the overall sound together, who’re you gonna call? > > 😉 > > Fun idea for a thread if kept silly and light. I hadn’t thought of them playing multiple istruments, but sure, in theory they can just conjure up as many hands and arms as they need! ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/6 "2013-11-14T14:33:42Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I hadn’t thought of them playing multiple istruments, but sure, in theory they can just conjure up as many hands and arms as they need! Ah c’mon: I can totally see the Holy Spirit, standing in a keyboard pit, surrounded by eleventy-twelve different keyboards, synth consoles, etc., with about 7 arms reaching out and hitting different keys… And God on drums and bass? If Geddy Lee of Rush can play bass, use his feet to play bass pedals and be the lead singer?? If God can’t top that, we have issues 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/7 "2013-11-14T14:53:08Z")
[Jew’s harps](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jew's_harp)? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/8 "2013-11-14T14:56:23Z")
The Holy Spirit obviously has to be a wind instrument. Probably not brass, though-- The Spirit is too subtle for that. Oboe, maybe, or clarinet? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/9 "2013-11-14T15:00:30Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The Holy Spirit obviously has to be a wind instrument. Probably not brass, though-- The Spirit is too subtle for that. Oboe, maybe, or clarinet? There’s no point in playing _Amazing Grace_ on anything other than bagpipes. ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/10 "2013-11-14T15:01:16Z")
For the Holy Spirit, I would nominate the [Theremin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin)😉 ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/11 "2013-11-14T15:02:02Z")
Took me a second, but it’s obvious. The Father is obviously the bass and drums, as he’s the background and foundation for everything. Along those lines, he’s also the songwriter/composer. The son is the human embodiment of the three, who makes the most personal connection, therefore the lead singer. The Holy Spirit is the animating force that pushes and inspires, particularly giving divinity to the Son. Rhythm guitarist, right? I guess Mary is then the band manager? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/12 "2013-11-14T15:34:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I guess Mary is then the band manager? Do you really think any lead singer would go touring with his mom? ---
**Author:** ![AnthonyElite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@AnthonyElite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnthonyElite)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/13 "2013-11-14T15:35:02Z")
I think we have the big man concrete on the drums. Drums set the scene! Jesus seems to be nailing (yhuk yhuk) the guitar. He is the “rock star”, and I would assume any solo’s that he nails would be “miracles”. The Holy Spirit? That has synthesizer written all over it. Ties the other two together, smooths over transitions, have a nice build up. And most importantly - it fits as an ethereal instrument. You don’t “play” a synth, you just sort of program it and let it do it’s thing, and isn’t that really what the whole Spirit is about? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/14 "2013-11-14T15:37:47Z")
> [@chrisk](#): > > For the Holy Spirit, I would nominate the [Theremin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin)😉 This is an inspired choice! Even the name sounds … heavenly. I dunno, is there a musical instrument called the Cherubin? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/15 "2013-11-14T15:43:24Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Do you really think any lead singer would go touring with his mom? In tonight’s episode, Jesus will be played by David Cassidy. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/16 "2013-11-14T19:25:50Z")
The father: Drums The son: Guitar/vocals [Spirit](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirit_(band)): the rest of the band. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/17 "2013-11-14T19:32:44Z")
Nobody wants to play rhythm guitar behind Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/18 "2013-11-14T19:36:32Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Nobody wants to play rhythm guitar behind Jesus… Cycling through verses of _Wade in the Water_ while Jesus wails on lead can get really, really tiresome 😉 Frontmen, harrumph. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/19 "2013-11-14T21:14:56Z")
The bass is all about sacrifice of the individual for the good of the whole. That’s my boy Josh Davidson, all right. The Holy Spirit is all about inspiration and support. That would be the drums. God the Father - the one called God in John 1 and assumed to be God when most people talk about God - plays lead guitar and vocals. After all, that’s what Eric Clapton plays. And Clapton is God. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/20 "2013-11-14T21:20:18Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > The bass is all about sacrifice of the individual for the good of the whole. That’s my boy Josh Davidson, all right. > > The Holy Spirit is all about inspiration and support. That would be the drums. > > God the Father - the one called God in John 1 and assumed to be God when most people talk about God - plays lead guitar and vocals. After all, that’s what Eric Clapton plays. And Clapton is God. Nice. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906.md?page=2)