# If the, er, Holy Trinity was a band, what instruments would they play? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 14, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906 "2013-11-14T14:11:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/41 "2013-11-20T00:46:47Z")
The Father would play the Serpent. Jesus, the Drums. And the Holy Spirit could be counted on for some fine vibes from the Theremin or aetherphone. We’d all sing. Some reluctantly, some enthusiastically. But, by Gawd, we’d all sing. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/42 "2013-11-20T06:29:14Z")
> [@chrisk](#): > > For the Holy Spirit, I would nominate the [Theremin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin)😉 Good choice Or this “new” instrument by [Da Vinci](http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/music/leonardo-da-vincis-wacky-piano-is-heard-for-the-first-time-after-500-years-20131118-2xpqs.html) ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/43 "2013-11-20T06:34:21Z")
All bagpipes out of tune, which means in tune. Hey, they couldn’t read, why should they read music? ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/44 "2013-11-21T07:26:38Z")
I heard that there was some controversy when Jesus said “We’ll be more popular than the Beatles.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/45 "2013-11-21T10:53:06Z")
As the Savior of mankind, Jesus is primarily concerned with our _Deliverance_; ergo, the only instrument that makes any sense for Him is the banjo. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/46 "2013-11-21T11:02:25Z")
> [@NVME702-redux](#): > > The Holy Spirit-keyboards. Because you cant see it but you know its _there_ No, they have [Brian Auger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Auger_and_the_Trinity) to do the keyboards for them. ---
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/47 "2013-11-21T11:04:03Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > The Father = bass and drums; holding it down > > The Son = lead guitar and vocals. Learned from Dad, but taking it to new levels, out in front > > The Holy Spirit = synthies - c’mon, when you need a bit of strings, or other bits of sugar here and there to bring the overall sound together, who’re you gonna call? > > 😉 > > Fun idea for a thread if kept silly and light. Exactly what I opened the thread to say, and it was right there in the first reply. I will additionally note that Jesus obviously likes the spotlight, and even invents new dance-moves like the “waterwalk”. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/48 "2013-11-21T12:27:53Z")
> [@mr.jp](#): > > I will additionally note that Jesus obviously likes the spotlight, and even invents new dance-moves like the “waterwalk”. I’m glad I had swallowed my mouthful of coffee before I read this. Well done! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/49 "2013-11-25T18:45:34Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The Holy Spirit? Really, all I can think of is the triangle, normally part of the persussionists, but the Spirit is kind of like the Vice President of Gods. You know, no real responsibilities or duties beyind the ceremonial and tie-breaking votes. The triangle is just the least intrusive instrument I can conceive of. Why do I now picture The Holy Spirit as the Ed Grimley of the Trinity? ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/50 "2013-11-25T19:35:29Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > No, they have [Brian Auger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Auger_and_the_Trinity) to do the keyboards for them. Don’t think we didn’t see what you did there, but BA could sit in with anyone and make it sound ‘heavenly’.😃 ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/51 "2013-11-25T20:31:57Z")
God plays harp Jesus plays harp Holy Ghost plays harp The question is who is in tune? I like the ideas above, but it gives … questionable mental images: God on drums (Bill Kreutzmann) Jesus on Guitar (Cap’t Trips) Holy Ghost on keyboards (Pigpen) Mary’s the nekked girl dancing on stage? ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/52 "2013-11-26T01:13:42Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > **StusBlues** is close, but it’s Holy Spirit on drums, Jesus on bass, and God on piano. There is no one lead singer. They’re a band, for Heaven’s sake (literally). The music features killer three part harmonies and throwing lead vocals back and forth. Wait, wait… Let’s add the Archangel Michael and St. Peter; you’d almost have The Eagles lineup. Think of it as Randy Meisner and Don Felder making a heavenly appearance. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/53 "2013-11-26T18:56:00Z")
Of course the Twelve Apostles are the backup singers - catch the close harmonies from Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and don’t miss Judas’ falsetto. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/54 "2013-11-30T02:16:20Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > the Father is on drums > Jesus is on bass and vocals > The Holy Spirit is on guitar > So basically its Rush. I thought Neil Peart _was_ God? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/55 "2013-11-30T02:37:01Z")
> [@rjk](#): > > Of course the Twelve Apostles are the backup singers - catch the close harmonies from Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and don’t miss Judas’ falsetto. No, the backup singers should be Abraham, Martin, and John. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/56 "2013-11-30T05:04:04Z")
The Holy Spirit blows whatever horn it pleases. You hear the sound it makes, but you never know where it is going to come in. ---
**Author:** ![Ksnook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@Ksnook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ksnook)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/57 "2013-11-30T12:49:47Z")
I thought this had been done? They call themselves Crosby, Stills and Nash. Occasionally, John the Baptists tours with them as Young. ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/58 "2013-12-01T23:25:57Z")
> [@panamajack](#): > > The Holy Spirit blows whatever horn it pleases. You hear the sound it makes, but you never know where it is going to come in. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have to find room for Gabriel in the band if there’s some horn action called for… ---
**Author:** ![SageGrouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@SageGrouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SageGrouse)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906/59 "2013-12-02T19:38:39Z")
The Trinity in various musical appearances… w8ith Satan as sideman: Stadium Rock God: Drums Jesus: Lead Guitar & Vocals Holy Spirit: Saxophone & Keyboards Satan: Pyrotechnics (natch!) Country God: Fiddle, guitar Jesus: Vocals Banjo Holy Spirit: Drums Mandolin Satan: KILLER harp! Girl Group Mary Magdalen: Lead Vocals (think Dixie Chicks or Diana Ross) Virgin Mary: Backup vocals (handmaiden after all) Holy Spirit (Yes, neuter gender) Backup vocals, violin. backed by God: Keyboards Jesus: Lead guitar Holy Spirit: Sax Satan: Percussion Symphony Orchestra God: Conductor Jesus: Brass section Holy Spirit: Strings. Satan: Tympani and percussion [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-er-holy-trinity-was-a-band-what-instruments-would-they-play/673906.md?page=2)