# If the Next Doctor Who were an American he would be played by.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849 "2013-07-18T15:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/41 "2013-07-19T11:15:15Z")
I was going to say Crispin Glover, but basically he’s just an older, weirder, creepier version of Matt Smith. But that’s irelevant because the answer is > [@Sampiro](#): > > Neil Patrick Harris. Because he’s Neil Patrick Harris. HELL yes. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/42 "2013-07-19T12:08:36Z")
Kyle McLaughlin in the Twin peaks years would have been great, but I have converted to … wait for it … Team Neal Patrick Harris too. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/43 "2013-07-19T12:45:54Z")
Penn Jilette. What do I win? ---
**Author:** ![Werekoala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7993a0/32.png) [@Werekoala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Werekoala)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/44 "2013-07-19T15:56:46Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Penn Jilette. > > What do I win? Oh, nice! Would Teller be his Companion or would that be too obvious, maybe make him the Big Bad for the season? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/45 "2013-07-19T16:13:26Z")
I think Penn would choose a more, uh, _buxom_ companion than Teller. Teller could be the guy Penn keeps running into regardless of time or place. Ancient Egypt? Teller would be performing Cup & Balls in the background for spare change. Civil War? Teller is tiptoeing through the fields of dead, taking their pocket-watches. Kennedy assassination? Teller is the guy who held the door open for Oswald, then walks across the street to get a good seat on a grassy knoll. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/46 "2013-07-19T18:21:40Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Penn Jilette. > > What do I win? Dayum! Switching my vote from Jeff Goldblum. Teller as The Master! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/47 "2013-07-19T18:33:03Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Or Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Who can give great exposition and smack down fundamentalists from ancient Ur to 59,000th century New Alabama. Is there a “Q” equivalent in the show? He’d make a great Q. Or maybe he could be the next Q in Bond! Then you could have the baddies attack him thinking him a harmless scientist and he get to break out his wrestling moves. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/48 "2013-07-19T18:36:25Z")
No, Teller as the Doctor. His accent won’t bother the Brits. Just give all the lines to the companion. Or Aubrey Plaza. (has time travel cred) and a wicked attitude. Or Let’s face it, Robert Downey Jr. or Johnny Depp would be great. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/49 "2013-07-19T19:04:03Z")
1980’s Corey Feldman (d&r) Unfortunately, Johnny Depp would insist on some form of “character”. I don’t want Johnny Depp as Cloris Leachman as The Doctor. Unfortunately, if it was in American (Hollywood) hands, we KNOW they’d seriously fuck it up. Hell, they’d probably cast Ryan Reynolds at this point. ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849/50 "2013-07-19T19:47:57Z")
> [@Werekoala](#): > > “Wibbly wobbly…timey…wimey…shit.” \ With Jeff Foxworthy as his traveling companion? If you have a plunger coming out of your face and it’s glowing _you might be a Dalek._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-next-doctor-who-were-an-american-he-would-be-played-by/663849.md?page=2)