# If the SDMB was the Lord of the Rings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099 "2004-12-10T10:24:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/61 "2004-12-11T03:00:31Z")
If **Qadgop** is Elrond, then I guess **elfbabe** is DEFINITELY Arwen, no? ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/62 "2004-12-11T03:32:18Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > If **Qadgop** is Elrond, then I guess **elfbabe** is DEFINITELY Arwen, no? I think she must be. I myself am a hobbit. I don’t have to be a main character, just as long as I get to eat nine meals a day and spend the rest of my time sleeping or pottering around in the garden. And I can have a little house with round windows and doors and never wear shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/63 "2004-12-11T04:07:25Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > You can be Nimrodel, then. 'kay? [Nimrodel](http://heriwen.home.comcast.net/html/nimrodel.html) Well, that was an uplifting - and easy to read - story! But yes, sounds good! I get to be snooty! Which is very elfish, so excellent. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/64 "2004-12-11T18:27:54Z")
I’m Fatty Bolger… or Fatty Lumpkin, take your pick 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/65 "2004-12-11T19:27:09Z")
Oh, and I forgot . . . **Odinoneeye** as the guy on the battlement at Helm’s Deep. 😉 (I love the story about that guy on IMDb.) ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/66 "2004-12-11T19:30:05Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > You can be Nimrodel, then. 'kay? [Nimrodel](http://heriwen.home.comcast.net/html/nimrodel.html) Hey, I was first in the “name me a minor elf” line. ---
**Author:** ![Lilacs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Lilacs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilacs)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/67 "2004-12-11T20:04:13Z")
Well, I have a delusion of Grandeur so I’m Galadriel. 😃 \* \*Okay, the handmaiden to the handmaiden to Galadriel. ---
**Author:** ![Legolamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@Legolamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legolamb)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/68 "2004-12-11T20:05:13Z")
_Points to name_ Oh ok, I’ll just wait until we cast the parody then… ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/69 "2004-12-11T20:11:33Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Hey, I was first in the “name me a minor elf” line. Minor? Hell, you can be [**Saeros**](http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/default.htm?http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/s/saeros.html). How’s that? If you’d prefer a LOTR minor elf, how about [**Orophin**](http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/o/orophin.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Halfling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9adbd/32.png) [@Halfling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Halfling)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/70 "2004-12-11T21:01:09Z")
Could I be Rosie Cotton please? No special reason other than I’ve already got the hair, and a way with cakes and ale. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/71 "2004-12-11T21:02:09Z")
> [@Lilacs](#): > > Well, I have a delusion of Grandeur so I’m Galadriel. 😃 \* > \*Okay, the handmaiden to the handmaiden to Galadriel. Nope, 2002, no elf for you. 😛 \*\*QtM: \*\* I’ll take Orophin. He’s not dead. And “Haldir’s brother” is about my status around this place. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/72 "2004-12-11T23:16:12Z")
I’m torn between Faramir and Gamling, but since Faramir gets Eowyn at the end, I’ll plump for Faramir. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/73 "2004-12-12T00:50:30Z")
I rather tend to suspect that my near-vanishingly infrequent contributions here would tend to rank me somewhere among the background characters who get one passing mention and are never heard from again. Ordinarily, I’d say I was a shoo-in for the role of “sallow-skinned stranger at Bree,” the unpleasant oily guy in the corner who says little and yet manages to stir up trouble regardless. But that would make me both evil and lacking a cool proper name (Tolkien never gave 'ol “Sal” a handle in any of the drafts, did he? He was always just Kato Kaelin to Bill Ferny’s OJ). So, making the possibly unwarranted assumption that my presence can be construed as generally neutral rather than malign, I reckon that I might be suited to the part of Hal, Sam’s cousin from Overhill who sometimes sees things that aren’t there. And, I mean, how can you argue with the thoroughly Tolkienesque name of “Hal?” Yes, yes! I’m Hal, Hal the Hobbit! Do you hear me, trees and giants? I’m…\* Hal!!!\* Barring that, I suppose I could stand in for Hugo Bracegirdle, for the sole reason that I am also worse than usual at returning borrowed books. And what the hey, I could always use another bookshelf, even a hobbit-sized one. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/74 "2004-12-12T03:09:37Z")
Cirdan Shipwright for me… ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/75 "2004-12-12T05:12:55Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Cirdan Shipwright for me… Well, you’ve been around here long enough to qualify… ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/76 "2004-12-12T05:41:40Z")
Well, since no one has laid a claim on him, I nominate myself for **The Gaffer**. Get all of your gardening advice and country proverbs right here… ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/77 "2004-12-12T17:27:07Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Well, you’ve been around here long enough to qualify… Stubborn enough to be the last here, too. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/78 "2004-12-15T06:35:33Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > If **Qadgop** is Elrond, then I guess **elfbabe** is DEFINITELY Arwen, no? Well, I do have the hair for it… and an athletic boyfriend with long, dark hair who looks good with a few days of stubble, likes swords, and can sing Aragorn’s coronation song if you get him to stop being shy about it. Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![WeRSauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f19dbf/32.png) [@WeRSauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WeRSauron)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/79 "2004-12-15T06:56:33Z")
Ahem. If the post of Sauron has been taken, We may be content with being recognized as Melkor/Morgoth in the shadows, for His work We do anyway. WRS/Thû ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/80 "2004-12-15T09:07:36Z")
I’m the dude with the carrot belching in Bree. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099.md?page=5)