# If the SDMB was the Lord of the Rings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099 "2004-12-10T10:24:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Abe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f1d935/32.png) [@Abe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/81 "2004-12-15T10:09:44Z")
Weren’t the dwarves created even before the elves? ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/82 "2004-12-15T10:22:27Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > I’m the dude with the carrot belching in Bree. You’re Peter Jackson? > [@Abe](#): > > Weren’t the dwarves created even before the elves? Yep. Aulë was a bad, bad vala and made them ahead of time. But when Iluvatar confronted him, he was very sorry, so the dwarves were just put to sleep until the elves awakened. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/83 "2004-12-15T10:26:39Z")
> [@Abe](#): > > Weren’t the dwarves created even before the elves? I think the elves and humans were supposed to have been created at the same time Iluvater created the rest of the world, but were “sleeping” until awoken at a later time. The Dwarves were created later, but then put to sleep so that they wouldn’t inhabit the earth before elves and then humans could wake up and get first crack. This from memory, as I don’t have my copy of the Silmarilion here. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/84 "2004-12-15T10:30:21Z")
Oh, and I’ll be very smelly and vile orc, as the smell matches my username and I imagine that orcs, like myself, are terrible spellers. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/85 "2004-12-15T11:05:13Z")
Well, if she wasn’t just “always hungry” but also permanently obsessed with her weight, I’d make a nice Shelob. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/86 "2004-12-15T15:38:05Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > I think the elves and humans were supposed to have been created at the same time Iluvater created the rest of the world, but were “sleeping” until awoken at a later time. The Dwarves were created later, but then put to sleep so that they wouldn’t inhabit the earth before elves and then humans could wake up and get first crack. > > This from memory, as I don’t have my copy of the Silmarilion here. Elves = Firstborn ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/87 "2004-12-15T15:39:38Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Well, if she wasn’t just “always hungry” but also permanently obsessed with her weight, I’d make a nice Shelob. Just how many legs do you _have_, **Maastricht**? 😕 :eek: 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/88 "2004-12-15T16:00:19Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I registered in 2000. Does that mean I can’t be farmer Maggot? Or Fatty Bolger? Oh, I know – I want to be Bard! > > Who gets to be Rosie Cotton? My vote is for **Guinestasia**. Or **Elenia28**. > > We’ll need a Bill Ferney. My vote is for **Brutus**. I’ll be Rosie! I was remembered in one of these threads! tdn, i love you! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/89 "2004-12-15T16:04:32Z")
> [@Halfling](#): > > Could I be Rosie Cotton please? No special reason other than I’ve already got the hair, and a way with cakes and ale. I’m Rosie! Look back on page 1, thanks to tdn. 😃 Hey guys, help me think of something else for **Halfling**. or maybe we can do a joint-Rosie. I’m good with baking, too, although my preference is honey mead and wines, rather than ale. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/90 "2004-12-15T16:23:56Z")
Suggestions requested–who might **I** be? Given that I’m a 99er, but admittedly not as swift as most 99ers _are_, I was thinking Bilbo, who hangs with the Elves, & has lived a long life. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/91 "2004-12-15T17:08:26Z")
I guess I’d be Maglor. If anyone needs me, I’ll be out looking for some rocks with my brother Maedhros. Now that’s obscure. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/92 "2004-12-15T20:33:09Z")
Can I just be a little She-Hobbit? Nobody special or anything, just a little lady hobbit baking muffins in her hobbit-hole. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/93 "2004-12-15T21:49:43Z")
I’m guessing that with my name, I’m not in the running for Glorfindel, huh? Could I at least be a Balrog? Just a run-of-the-mill Balrog would be OK…I’ don’t have to be Gothmog or nuthin’. I’d hate to be reduced to cave troll or…shudder…ettin. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/94 "2004-12-15T21:55:36Z")
I humbly request the part of a soldier. As a trained Cavalry/Armor officer it should be one of the riders Eomer is still open. I won’t presume to suggest my own character. ---
**Author:** ![c\_carol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@c\_carol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_carol)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/95 "2004-12-16T01:18:35Z")
> [@picker](#): > > I guess I’d be Maglor. If anyone needs me, I’ll be out looking for some rocks with my brother Maedhros. > > Now that’s obscure. That’s not obscure. I want to be Amarië. _That’s_ obscure. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/96 "2004-12-16T01:37:00Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Suggestions requested–who might **I** be? > > Given that I’m a 99er, but admittedly not as swift as most 99ers _are_, I was thinking Bilbo, who hangs with the Elves, & has lived a long life. Shucks, as a 99er you could exercise your **Bullroarer Took** option. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/97 "2004-12-16T01:52:56Z")
I’ll be more than happy to be that one Ent who stuck his burning crown into the flood to put out the fire during the battle at Isengard. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/98 "2004-12-16T01:59:12Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Elves = Firstborn Technically correct, but as **elfbabe** pointed out, the Dwarves were awake and kicking before the elves arose at Cuivienen. Iluvatar even gave them sentience before putting them back to sleep. So sure, the elves are the firstborn, and men are the followers, but the dwarves are the stepsibs from Uncle Aulë’s philandering days. They act odd, they eat funny stuff, and the rest of the family doesn’t like to talk about them a lot. and **Yeticus Rex**? That Ent was Beechbone in the book, and he shuffled off this mortal coil as a result of those injuries. You can be [Fladrif](http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/default.htm?http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/f/fladrif.html) or something. M’kay? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/99 "2004-12-16T05:10:12Z")
Well, I have pointy ears (really, truly–not as pointy as m’dad’s, but then he isn’t a Doper) but I’m rather new on the scene so I’ll take a nice name if someone wants to give me one. Just as long as I don’t look it up later and find out it’s some girl who came to a bad end. ---
**Author:** ![Rainbowthief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@Rainbowthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rainbowthief)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099/100 "2004-12-16T06:38:13Z")
Since, as a 99er, I would be an elf, I’d prefer to be an ass kicking wood elf like Legolas and not a hoity-toity Lothlórien elf like Haldir. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-sdmb-was-the-lord-of-the-rings/279099.md?page=6)