# If the Shirt fits, read the words first. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727 "2003-05-07T18:36:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![john\_b\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@john\_b\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/john_b_1)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/1 "2003-05-07T18:36:04Z")
Is is just me, or anyone that wears a shirt from say “Abercrombie” “American Eagle” “Structure” and anyother god awful name brand i left out with words on it saying things such a “Cross Country Skier” or “Malibu Surfing Competition” be immediatelly beaten since there is very little chance they have partaken in any such said activity and ever will. And if they have, maybe they should get a stern punch in the face for wearing the overpriced, tasteless crap in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/2 "2003-05-07T19:23:25Z")
I am now wearing a Gap shirt with the words “Moderators Love Me” emblazoned across its chest. Truth in advertising, I always say. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/3 "2003-05-07T19:31:14Z")
No. It’s just you. Off to the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/4 "2003-05-07T19:34:23Z")
So, false advertising is now grounds for criminal assault? I did not know that. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/5 "2003-05-07T19:36:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle \* > I am now wearing a Gap shirt with the words “Moderators Love Me” emblazoned across its chest. And across yours too, by implication. 🙂 So, do moderators love you, your shirt, or your boobies? And which moderators? Inquiring minds want to know! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/6 "2003-05-07T19:41:44Z")
RTFirefly wrote: > [@](#): > > \*\*So, do moderators love you, \*\*Yes. > [@](#): > > \*\*your shirt, \*\*Yes. > [@](#): > > \*\*or your boobies? \*\*Yes. > [@](#): > > \*\*And which moderators? \*\*All of 'em. Right, dearest moddy-mods? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/7 "2003-05-07T19:49:12Z")
I hate American Eagle Outfitters. But I do like A&F and I have two pair of pants from Structure. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything that reads _Malibu Surfing Competition_, though. You can punch me in the face if you’d like, but you’d better \*\*a)\*\*run very fast and \*\*b)\*\*hope my hubby doesn’t know where you live. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/8 "2003-05-07T19:56:20Z")
I’ve got a shirt that reads “I toured the forest moon of Endor.” Does that mean I get a sock in the face? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/9 "2003-05-07T20:30:04Z")
I have a very very old Surf Nebraska! shirt. That count? ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/10 "2003-05-07T20:33:50Z")
I have a shirt that says “Spider-Man” and has a picture of the Spidey logo. This despite the fact that I do not have radioactive blood, nor can I catch criminals like flies. I’m such a fraud. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/11 "2003-05-07T20:38:33Z")
I have a shirt that reads, “My patron went to Warriors and Warlords and all he bought me was this stupid tunic” in latin. Am I in the club? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/12 "2003-05-07T20:39:17Z")
**john\_b** , I too hate shirts with writing on them. If you’re going to wear something with writing on it, at least let it be something with personal meaning to you! ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/13 "2003-05-07T20:42:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*I hate American Eagle Outfitters. \*\* Hey, I just bought a skirt from American Eagle! Them’s fightin’words! Put 'em up, **JuanitaTech**! Meet me at the flagpole. Winner gets to wear items of their own choosing, no matter what they claim. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/14 "2003-05-07T20:43:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dung Beetle \* > \*\*If you’re going to wear something with writing on it, at least let it be something with personal meaning to you! \*\* Which of course can be determined by just looking at the person wearing said shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/15 "2003-05-07T20:57:06Z")
**World Eater** you take all the fun out of petty, irrational hatred.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/16 "2003-05-07T22:26:40Z")
I just bought a shirt at Cheers that says “Body by Norm” Not quite, but I’m workin’ on it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/17 "2003-05-07T22:29:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dung Beetle \* > \*\ ***World Eater** you take all the fun out of petty, irrational hatred.😃 \*\* Hate away! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/18 "2003-05-08T02:08:54Z")
I have a ratty old shirt that says “Jack’s Mule Rides”. I must admit that I am not Jack and I do not provide mule rides - I just think it’s a nice shirt. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/19 "2003-05-08T03:00:10Z")
In the early 1970s, I risked life and limb in the Amazon to study highly venemous arachnids. So, I feel entitled to wear my “Deep Jungle Research” t-shirt with a picture of a spider on the front. ---
**Author:** ![royal\_nonesuch\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@royal\_nonesuch\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/royal_nonesuch_1)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727/20 "2003-05-08T03:48:19Z")
I try to avoid buying any shirt that implies I engage in water skiiing, or heliboarding, or alligator wrestling, or whatever. It seems like every other shirt you see these days has “Lifeguard” on it. Personally, I’d never buy any shirt that suggests to onlookers that I’d be remotely qualified to rescue people caught in riptides or being attacked by sharks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-the-shirt-fits-read-the-words-first/173727.md?page=2)