# If there was a worldwide Dopefest... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849 "2005-09-03T03:15:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/41 "2005-09-03T10:53:50Z")
Oh, man. I guess I’d have to tie some sort of mega watt light to myself, somewhere. Blind the hell out of everyone. Strap a bunch of fans on, too, since stars give off a lot of wind… But then I could turn it all off and you’d just see me, Anastasia. Hello. Most people just call me Stasia. Is this thing catered? Is there wine? I’d really like a glass of wine. Or, I suppose I could really cater to the masses and just show up as a giant penis. They might not remember my name, but they’ll know the catchphrase. ---
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/42 "2005-09-03T11:11:31Z")
A lot like [this](http://www.letterheadfonts.com/contributors/chuckdavis/tuco.gif) guy I imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/43 "2005-09-03T11:19:03Z")
😃 I guess I’d be incognito unless I got provoked! ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/44 "2005-09-03T11:20:22Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Or, I suppose I could really cater to the masses and just show up as a giant penis. They might not remember my name, but they’ll know the catchphrase. Don’t forget shoes. You need to be penis in shoes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/45 "2005-09-03T11:22:00Z")
> [@Bites When Provoked](#): > > Don’t forget shoes. You need to be penis in shoes. 😃 Yeah, I think somebody oughta bite you. Penis in shoes… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/46 "2005-09-03T11:26:25Z")
Spiky scale armor, battle axe, short sword, wooden round shield, long beard, couple throwing axes, backpack, wine skin, 50’ of rope, 2 weeks iron rations, crossbow, quiver of 20 bolts, belt pouch with flint/steel, 3 torches, steel mirror, candle lantern, sack of candles, and a 10’ pole. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/47 "2005-09-03T12:28:13Z")
In a jester’s motley, with a Bugs Bunny mask. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/48 "2005-09-03T12:51:41Z")
Now, let me think about this one… ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/49 "2005-09-03T13:00:06Z")
Oh, accessorize with ladles, I suppose … Say, you _are_ inviting **Eve** to this thing, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/50 "2005-09-03T13:00:26Z")
I would have the tallest red afro wig on record, along with some big pimpin’ Rick James style clothes, and enough gaudy “bling bling” to make Diddy jealous. Of course, I would be all about the love… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/51 "2005-09-03T13:04:29Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Spiky scale armor, battle axe, short sword, wooden round shield, long beard, couple throwing axes, backpack, wineskin, 50’ of rope, 2 weeks iron rations, crossbow, quiver of 20 bolts, belt pouch with flint/steel, 3 torches, steel mirror, candle lantern, sack of candles, and a 10’ pole. Okay, I’ll check my closet and let you borrow. I’d go as a pine tree decorated like Annie Christmas in the Jim Steinman/ALW song that inspired my name… And she always wore that special necklace 'Cause it proved that she was tough and reckless With a bead for every ear and nose She had bitten off, as the story goes ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/52 "2005-09-03T13:06:13Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > Oh, accessorize with ladles, I suppose … For a moment, I read this as “accessorize with _ladies_.” ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/53 "2005-09-03T13:25:42Z")
Ceremonial robes from empirical Songhai, probrably made from earth textiles, and one of those cool carved footstools to sit on. I’d appreciate it if everyone sang praisesongs extolling the great deeds of my ancestors and prehaps a round or two of Tom Petty’s “It’s Good To Be King” just for me. ---
**Author:** ![Pixisis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Pixisis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixisis)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/54 "2005-09-03T13:33:00Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > For a moment, I read this as “accessorize with _ladies_.” oh, good. i wasn’t the only one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfgrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wolfgrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfgrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/55 "2005-09-03T13:49:23Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > For a moment, I read this as “accessorize with _ladies_.” Me three. In fact I didn’t notice that it wasn’t until I read _your_ post. As for me, assuming I’m invited after having just returned from a very lengthy absence, I have a tattoo of a woman turning into a wolf (or vice versa?) on my left hip. So I guess I’d come as my left hip. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/56 "2005-09-03T13:53:28Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Ceremonial robes from empirical Songhai, probrably made from earth textiles, and one of those cool carved footstools to sit on. I’d appreciate it if everyone sang praisesongs extolling the great deeds of my ancestors and prehaps a round or two of Tom Petty’s “It’s Good To Be King” just for me. OK, as long as we can follow it up with a round of Aerosmith’s “Dude('s username) Looks Like a Lady”! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/57 "2005-09-03T13:54:05Z")
I guess I would have to wear something that encouraged conversations like, “What the hell is he meant to be?” “For heaven’s sake don’t ask.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/58 "2005-09-03T14:01:18Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > . > . > . > . > . > I think I lose. ☹ > > I guess just what I normally wear. 😕 You could go as half a cow (bouv/ine). I’ll let you choose which half. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/59 "2005-09-03T14:12:09Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > . > . > . > . > . > I think I lose. ☹ > > I guess just what I normally wear. 😕 _au contraire, mon ami!_ [These cuties](http://www.bouvier.org/) are often known as "bouv"es for short! ---
**Author:** ![Landshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/77aa72/32.png) [@Landshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Landshark)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849/60 "2005-09-03T14:13:33Z")
I’d need to arrive in something like [this](http://turing.fh-landshut.de/~awallne/landshark.jpg). As for what to wear, obviously I’d have to duplicate the [costume](http://www.tvacres.com/fish_sharks_landshark.htm) Chevy Chase wore in the SNL landshark sketches. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-was-a-worldwide-dopefest/319849.md?page=4)