# If there were a song to describe your sex life **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 20, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761 "2003-04-20T03:05:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/41 "2003-04-21T03:59:57Z")
Tainted Love ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/42 "2003-04-21T04:44:29Z")
Closer - Nine Inch Nails “I want to f\*\*k you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside.” ---
**Author:** ![HoldenCaulfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@HoldenCaulfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoldenCaulfield)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/43 "2003-04-21T04:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Mook \* > \*\*“Love Stinks” \*\* A douche might solve your problems… Well, I’d have to say “Gigantic” by The Pixies. 😃 If only… I’d ask my girlfriend, but I’m afraid she’ll say “Fakin’ It” by Simon and Garfunkel. For awhile there it was the Stones’ version of “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg,” but lately it’s been Van Morrison’s “Brown-Eyed Girl,” if you catch my meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/44 "2003-04-21T05:53:30Z")
“Should I Stay Or Should I Go”, the Clash. ---
**Author:** ![CalvinHobbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CalvinHobbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalvinHobbes)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/45 "2003-04-21T08:04:54Z")
“Somebody to Love” - Queen Can anybody find me, somebody to love… ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/46 "2003-04-21T14:21:59Z")
Lonesome days and lonesome nights. Puncuated occasionally with the minute waltz. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/47 "2003-04-21T14:35:49Z")
_I can’t believe that love has lost its glamour That passion is really passé— If gender is just a term in grammar, How can I ever find my way Since I’m a stranger here myself?_ ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/48 "2003-04-21T14:39:13Z")
Edith Piaf’s “Non, je ne regrette rien.” Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien Ni Le Bien Qu’on M’a Fait, Ni Le Mal Tout Ca M’est Bien Egal Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien (I don’t regret a thing… neither the good, nor the bad, it’s all equal…) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/49 "2003-04-21T14:40:28Z")
_Thirty Days In The Hole_ Woohoohoohoohoohoo Woohoohoohoohoohoo… ---
**Author:** ![Nangleator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19adc/32.png) [@Nangleator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nangleator)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/50 "2003-04-21T14:41:37Z")
Well, it used to be: _“Can’t you see? Can’t you see? What this woman, Lord, ‘s been doin’ to me.”_ Now it’s more like Chipmonk Love. Without the bestiality, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/51 "2003-04-21T14:56:35Z")
Nobody does it better- Carly Simon. I’ve just spent the most amazing 5 days with irishfella. I’m young and in love, sue me. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/52 "2003-04-21T15:08:38Z")
_Frozen_ by Madonna Or, from _Baker, Baker_ by Tori Amos: \*…He says that behind my eyes I’m hiding; and he tells me I pushed him away, that my heart’s been hard to find… I ran from him, in all kinds of ways, Guess it was his turn, this time…\* ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/53 "2003-04-21T15:09:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flybynight \* > \*\*Ah - I’m thinking this will soon be my song too (along with Marvin Gaye’s _Let’s Get it On_) 😉 _crosses fingers_ 😃 \*\* Sounds more like _Helplessly Hoping_ to me. I’m kidding, I’m kidding.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/54 "2003-04-21T15:16:30Z")
“It’s a Small World” …sigh… ---
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/55 "2003-04-21T16:45:15Z")
Well, someone took NIN _Closer_ already, so I’ll go with _A Little Less Conversation_ (and a lot more action) - Elvis Presley / JXL ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/56 "2003-04-21T17:10:47Z")
_Why doesn’t anyone believe in loneliness?_ “Zero Chance” by Soundgarden. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![flybynight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@flybynight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flybynight)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/57 "2003-04-21T20:02:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*Sounds more like _Helplessly Hoping_ to me. > > I’m kidding, I’m kidding.😃 \*\* Naw, not quite _Helplessly Hoping_. But, Jimmy Buffet’s cover of Cat Steven’s _Another Saturday Night_ would be more realistic than _Let’s Get It On_ probably, knowing my luck ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Daoloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Daoloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daoloth)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/58 "2003-04-21T20:57:04Z")
Acetone- “Things are gonna be alright” “_Just getting by/Biding my time_…” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/59 "2003-04-22T00:36:00Z")
\*99 bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer…\* ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761/60 "2003-04-22T00:38:22Z")
I’m stranded all alone in the gas statioon of love And I have to use the self service pumps. -Weird Al Yankovic [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-there-were-a-song-to-describe-your-sex-life/169761.md?page=4)