# If TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD were just now being adapted to a movie today, how would they screw it up? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 30, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545 "2011-03-30T19:19:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/1 "2011-03-30T19:19:20Z")
Imagine, if you will, that for whatever reason, no cinematic or television adaptation of Harper Lee’s great work had ever been made, or even greenlighted. Imagine further that someone has recently acquired the rights to the story of Atticus Finch; filming began, say, a month ago, and the movie’s scheduled for a December 2011 release. It’s a major, big-studio release, with name actors in every significant role. Would you expect the movie to be fucked up? If yes, what do you expect would be done badly? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/2 "2011-03-30T19:21:34Z")
They would cast Johnny Depp as Atticus. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/3 "2011-03-30T19:31:52Z")
I think it’d be the CGI ninjas added to the night-time “sneaking up on Boo Radley’s house” sequence that would do it in. And the fake-looking explosions when Atticus shoots the rabid dog. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/4 "2011-03-30T19:33:23Z")
Angelina Jolie would play a reclusive but not scary neighbor (instead of Boo Radley), who Scout and Jem would scheme to fix up with their dad. It would work after Jolie’s character ends up saving the kids from Bob Ewell by pulling a gun on him, and Atticus would refer to her as the nightingale. Boo Radley wouldn’t be in it because you still have to teach kids that weird people will molest them, and they aren’t to be trusted. :rolleyes: Oh, and Atticus would win his case. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/5 "2011-03-30T19:33:44Z")
The townfolk coming to kill Tom would be wielding walkie-talkies. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/6 "2011-03-30T19:34:01Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > They would cast Johnny Depp as Atticus. Wow, that’s hard to beat. ETA: Mainly because it’s so damn plausible. James Franco as Boo, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/7 "2011-03-30T19:35:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, and Atticus would win his case. Ding ding fucking ding. Really, that’s all they would need to do to completely implode the story. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/8 "2011-03-30T19:43:22Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > They would cast Johnny Depp as Atticus. Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see what what would be wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/9 "2011-03-30T19:44:38Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see what what would be wrong with that. I’ve noticed that it has recently become fashionable to hate Johnny Depp. I don’t get it either. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/10 "2011-03-30T19:46:36Z")
3D ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/11 "2011-03-30T19:48:28Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > I’ve noticed that it has recently become fashionable to hate Johnny Depp. I don’t get it either. I’ll agree with this. Depp is a gifted actor (though I agree he seems wrong for Atticus). Of course, if Deep were starring, Tim Burton might well be directing. And if Burton were directing, it’s certain that Helena Bonham Carter would be shoehorned in somehow. And in that case … Well, I don’t like to think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/12 "2011-03-30T19:50:07Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’ll agree with this. Depp is a gifted actor (though I agree he seems wrong for Atticus). > > Of course, if Deep were starring, Tim Burton might well be directing. And if Burton were directing, it’s certain that Helena Bonham Carter would be shoehorned in somehow. And in that case … > > Well, I don’t like to think about it. Does it rhyme with “Annie Delfman”? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/13 "2011-03-30T19:50:15Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’ll agree with this. Depp is a gifted actor (though I agree he seems wrong for Atticus). > > Of course, if Deep were starring, Tim Burton might well be directing. And if Burton were directing, it’s certain that Helena Bonham Carter would be shoehorned in somehow. And in that case … > > Well, I don’t like to think about it. Here, have a nice pie. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/14 "2011-03-30T19:53:07Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Here, have a nice pie. Still diabetic. ☹ Pies are my enemy. I shall now go off and eat this delicious rice cake. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/15 "2011-03-30T19:53:20Z")
They’d make Tom a Muslim. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/16 "2011-03-30T19:55:56Z")
Scout would be a smokin’ hot teenager instead of a little girl. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/17 "2011-03-30T19:57:19Z")
Scout would show her boobs and smoke dope, and Atticus would become the stereotypical “idiot dad”. Someone, possibly Boo Bradley, would be gay. And all the accents would be horribly done. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/18 "2011-03-30T19:57:20Z")
I find Depp quirky and effeminate. Fine for Edward Scissorhands, wrong for Atticus. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/19 "2011-03-30T19:57:27Z")
They’d probably animate it…with animals…who talk and it would have a sappy and/or feel goody song by Randy Newman sung by a mockingbird Atticus Finch titled, “Guilty of being right” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545/20 "2011-03-30T19:57:47Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Scout would be a smokin’ hot teenager instead of a little girl. Possibly played by Megan Fox. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-to-kill-a-mockingbird-were-just-now-being-adapted-to-a-movie-today-how-would-they-screw-it-up/576545.md?page=2)