# If Tuesday Weld married Fredric March's grandson... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099 "2001-04-24T04:58:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/1 "2001-04-24T04:58:34Z")
…she’d be Tuesday March the Second. (Forgive me if I’m a little fast and loose with the genders, here; something I’ve never been accused of before.) If The Great Zamboni married Chief Scott he’d be Great Scott. If thinksnow married ExTank he’d be ThinkTank. If Geobabe married Duck Duck Goose, she’d be [Geoduck](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_073.html) If iampunha married Just A Girl and WildestBill, he’d be I’mJustABill. And if Polycarp married andyman, dpr and Doobieous, he’d be Polyandrous. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/2 "2001-04-24T07:47:48Z")
If I marred dantheman I’d be Eutyman! ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/3 "2001-04-24T12:23:22Z")
If Rasa married me she’d me **rasahomie**! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/4 "2001-04-24T12:29:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*If I marred dantheman I’d be Eutyman! \*\* “The only man who could ever love me… is the son of a Eutyman…” BTW, **Euty** , don’t mar me! I’m marred enough as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/5 "2001-04-24T12:32:29Z")
If I married **Ruffian** , I’d be **Simian**. D’oh. \ ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/6 "2001-04-24T21:28:34Z")
> [@](#): > > If thinksnow married ExTank he’d be ThinkTank. Well, I like the guy and our offspring (neverminding the gender same-ness) would certainly be able to shoot and change tires, but he’s a little short for me. Now maybe a pairing with **Medias Child** : Medias Snow…hmmm, sounds too much like bad TV reception. Oh, well. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/7 "2001-04-24T22:17:40Z")
If I married Jester (well, more like JesTer) I’d be… ZogSter. Zogster! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/8 "2001-04-25T01:58:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > If thinksnow married ExTank he’d be ThinkTank. > > Well, I like the guy and our offspring (neverminding the gender same-ness) would certainly be able to shoot and change tires, but he’s a little short for me. > > Now maybe a pairing with **Medias Child** : Medias Snow…hmmm, sounds too much like bad TV reception. Oh, well. \*\* She’s liable to slap the snot out of ya for spelling her name wrong, though! 🙂 **Medea’s Child** hehe ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/9 "2001-04-25T02:10:27Z")
Bear with me on this one, I don’t know if it will work … If Yma Sumac married Muhamed Ali, then got divorced and married Peter Frampton, divorced him and married radio host Tom Lykus, divorced him married senator Ben Espy, divorced him re-married Muhamed Ali, divorced him again and doug up and had a lesbian wedding with Alce B. Toklas she would be … [sub]Brace yourselves[/sub] Yma Sumac-Ali-Frampton-Lykus-Espy-Ali-Toklas . . . . . . . Get it? ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/10 "2001-04-25T02:41:56Z")
If I married **SexyWriter** I’d be soooo happy. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/11 "2001-04-25T02:56:45Z")
Well, that might make her Sexier, if such a thing was possible. ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/12 "2001-04-25T03:05:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Bear with me on this one, I don’t know if it will work … > > If Yma Sumac married Muhamed Ali, then got divorced and married Peter Frampton, divorced him and married radio host Tom Lykus, divorced him married senator Ben Espy, divorced him re-married Muhamed Ali, divorced him again and doug up and had a lesbian wedding with Alce B. Toklas she would be … > > [sub]Brace yourselves[/sub] > > Yma Sumac-Ali-Frampton-Lykus-Espy-Ali-Toklas > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > Get it? \*\* It’s been a while since that word. I finally know how to spell it! Now, if I married my girlfriend, **FairyQueen** (not reg’d yet, her computer is crap), our kid would be SpinnieQueen. He’d be the dizzy one. ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/13 "2001-04-25T03:08:55Z")
Correction. _She’d_ be the dizzy one. Unless we dress him in drag. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/14 "2001-04-25T04:06:39Z")
(Replying to my grievous error) > [@](#): > > \*\*dantheman \*\* > She’s liable to slap the snot out of ya for spelling her name wrong, though! 🙂 > **Medea’s Child** Which would, of course, explain why I’m single! 😛 Sorry, **Medea**! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/15 "2001-04-25T11:17:45Z")
If Krispy Original belonged to me, would he be Rys’Krispy? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/16 "2001-04-25T11:30:56Z")
In the spirit of Jack Batty… If Olivia Newton John married Elton John and divorced him, then married Wayne Newton and divorced him, then married Laurence Olivier… She’d be Olivia Newton John John Newton Olivier! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/17 "2001-04-25T11:34:08Z")
**Coldfire + UncleBeer = ColdBeer!** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/18 "2001-04-25T13:49:57Z")
**ColdBeer** \ I think we have a winner! **Robot Arm** , tell 'em what they’ve won! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/19 "2001-04-25T14:15:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*(Replying to my grievous error) > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\*dantheman \*\* > > She’s liable to slap the snot out of ya for spelling her name wrong, though! 🙂 > > **Medea’s Child** > > Which would, of course, explain why I’m single! 😛 > Sorry, **Medea**! \*\* It’s ok, she’s so cute and innocent that she’d probably just giggle and call you silly… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099/20 "2001-04-26T02:01:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **Coldfire + UncleBeer = ColdBeer!** 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Orignally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*ColdBeer \*\* > > \ > > I think we have a winner! Robot Arm, tell 'em what they’ve won! Well, I could do that, but to preserve the balance of nature I’d have to fire your uncle. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tuesday-weld-married-fredric-marchs-grandson/63099.md?page=2)