# If TV could show ANYthing... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 25, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632 "2011-02-25T21:55:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/21 "2011-02-26T02:23:03Z")
I’d do a Battle Royale with all the current inmates on death row in every state. Which, if you haven’t seen the movie, means each inmate gets a pack with a random item in it that may or may not be a weapon (gun, knife, pot lid, binoculars, bullet proof vest, gps tracker, etc) and enough bottled water to survive for a week (and maybe some food to get them started, but probably not). They’re put on a remote island and have tracking devices installed on them (in the movie they were little necklaces). They have to keep moving because if they’re in a danger zone at the appropriate time (and danger zones are randomized and change every day at 3 or 4 hour intervals), their tracking device will explode and kill them. If they try to leave the island, it explodes. At the end of a week, one person has to be left. If more than one person is left at the end of the week (say there’s a cooperative group), they all explode. The incentive to win is that they’re told the last person standing gets a full pardon from jail and a million dollars. Except what will really happen is the last guy will be killed after he’s killed everybody else. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/22 "2011-02-26T02:45:17Z")
> [@Heyoka13](#): > > Those ‘Battlebot’ type shows would have much larger manned bots, and injuries to the operators would be accepted. It’s not the same as reality, but there is a horrible looking movie coming out in October based on this concept. [Real Steel](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433035/combined). If TV could show anything, I think we’d see more things that exploit children. Perhaps [Baby Derby 2012](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Stork_Derby), or a reality show where cute toddlers-preschoolers compete to be adopted by a couple who wants a new addition to the family. But on the bright side, if TV stations could show ANYTHING there are better odds that my idea for a new HGTV show could become reality: Erratic Design, which would each episode feature two teams of designers, one made up of unmedicated schizophrenics, and the other junkies. The most creative, yet functional, design would win! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/23 "2011-02-26T02:50:33Z")
How about a K Street live webcam showing all the comings and goings of the lobbyists and power brokers? ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/24 "2011-02-26T02:56:45Z")
Cameras in public toilets? Psych sessions in prisons for the criminally insane? Alzheimer unit at the nursing home? “Green room” at a talk show? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/25 "2011-02-26T03:05:06Z")
As it is they show way too much vomiting. I can only imagine what they’d show if there were no boundaries. So I’m going to have to go with bodily functions: uncut and unfiltered. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/26 "2011-02-26T03:36:52Z")
I wish there could be s sitcom about Muslims in the US. There is one on Canada, _Little Mosque on the Prairie_. We’d probably see Battlebots vs. Death Row before we saw something like that. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/27 "2011-02-26T03:36:58Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > …But on the bright side, if TV stations could show ANYTHING there are better odds that my idea for a new HGTV show could become reality: Erratic Design, which would each episode feature two teams of designers, one made up of unmedicated schizophrenics, and the other junkies. The most creative, yet functional, design would win! Or a show where the design team truly picks someone at random (say somebody goes away on vacation, and without there knowledge or permission completely remodels their house, replaces all their furniture, etc all without knowing a single thing about the homeowner or their taste. Maybe to the occasional cross over with your show. Another idea would be **House Hunters: WTF?!**. Each house would look completely normal on the outside, but have all kinds of bizarre design choices insides. Like his & hers toilets that face each other, an attic kitchen, no bathrooms, standard gas kitchen stoves in all the _bedrooms_, no hallways, toilets in every room, a sex dungeon, a media room designed to look the inside of whale, stairs which led nowhere, etc. The potential homehowners would not be in on the gag and the real estate agent would have to try and sell them. This idea’s actually doable in theory (at least it would be legal); just really expensive to pull off. How about a quirky family dramedy about a blended family (with a bunch of kids ranging from preteen to high school age) that runs a resort. A _clothing optional_ resort; one parent an avid life long naturist, the other a recent convert. Their older kids would be all over the map between embracing naturism and being embaressed by the whole thing. Not even HBO could pull that off. Maybe it’d work in Germany. I also have a bunch of ideas for alternate history programing that would be perfectly if only the producers didn’t have to worry about attracting an audience beyond alt history nerds. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/28 "2011-02-26T03:40:23Z")
You don’t think shows today are already disgusting enough? The other night I was flipping through channels and the best thing on was reruns. The rest had reality crap, infomercials, or low-budget “originals.” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/29 "2011-02-26T03:53:49Z")
I would love to have the BORING channel that shows what things are really like for lots of things. It would have to be publicly funded because it is the antithesis of what the existing media is all about but it would be informative. Some ideas for episodes: 1. Marriage after the fairy tale wedding - setting budgets, schedules and expectations. A few good examples will be shown along with some that don’t make it and have to go through divorce and set up another life later. 2. Underbelly of Prestigious Professions - ER Doctors alternate between savings lives and fighting with HMO’s and other insurance companies over approved treatment plans. Firefighters and police officers discuss back at the office how they would totally save that hot blonde if the opportunity ever came up. Soldiers gossip about what they heard is going on back in Hollywood based on their limited internet time and wonder when that bag of beef jerky is coming in from home. 3. Retirement life - you will get to pursue your dreams one day but things are so expensive right now. The kids are so busy too. What do they do all the time? I should volunteer for something but I don’t have the time myself between all the appointments and riff-raff going on. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/30 "2011-02-26T15:12:24Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > But on the bright side, if TV stations could show ANYTHING there are better odds that my idea for a new HGTV show could become reality: Erratic Design, which would each episode feature two teams of designers, one made up of unmedicated schizophrenics, and the other junkies. The most creative, yet functional, design would win! They could maybe call it The “Bloody Stupid Johnson” Award? ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/31 "2011-02-26T16:44:19Z")
How about Meet The Press where politicians receive a shock anytime they lie. ---
**Author:** ![Cayuga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cayuga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cayuga)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/32 "2011-02-26T16:51:17Z")
> [@sh1bu1](#): > > How about Meet The Press where politicians receive a shock anytime they lie. Also when they don’t answer the question they were asked. ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/33 "2011-02-26T16:54:00Z")
> [@sh1bu1](#): > > How about Meet The Press where politicians receive a shock anytime they lie. Interesting idea, but overloading the nation’s power grid would be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/34 "2011-02-26T16:55:31Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > How about a quirky family dramedy about a blended family (with a bunch of kids ranging from preteen to high school age) that runs a resort. A _clothing optional_ resort; one parent an avid life long naturist, the other a recent convert. Their older kids would be all over the map between embracing naturism and being embarrased Here’s the story of a lovely lady Who was bringing up three very lovely waifs. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, The carpets all were matching to the drapes. Here’s the store, of a man named Brady, Who was busy with three boys of his own, They were four men, living all together, There was no one there to bone. Till the one day when the lady met this fellow And he took her to a nudist colony, The boys got wood looking at the ladies, Except for Alice whose tits were at her knees. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/35 "2011-02-26T17:36:34Z")
Modern Industrial Slaughterhouse ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/36 "2011-02-26T17:55:58Z")
“America’s Top Sniper”. The other great idea I had was, “Who Wants To Be A Reality Show Producer?” Ten people compete to pitch their reality show ideas to a panel of showbiz insiders and some random drug-addled washed-up former starlet, and the winner gets their own reality show. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/37 "2011-02-26T18:22:49Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > \ > But I wouldn’t mind more realistic bedroom scenes instead of the strategically placed sheets you see now. A little nip slip isn’t going to hurt anyone. I would love to see more realistic same sex couple behavior too. I’m watching a couple of Canadian-made series right now that have realistic swearing (_Lost Girl_ and _Todd and the Book of Pure Evil_) and I can’t believe what a difference it makes - when someone comes home to a chopped up body, they say, “Holy shit!” or some variation on that, not, “Oh my!” > [@Heyoka13](#): > > \ > > “Green room” at a talk show? I want to see that. > [@alphaboi867](#): > > \ > Another idea would be **House Hunters: WTF?!**. Each house would look completely normal on the outside, but have all kinds of bizarre design choices insides. Like his & hers toilets that face each other, an attic kitchen, no bathrooms, standard gas kitchen stoves in all the _bedrooms_, no hallways, toilets in every room, a sex dungeon, a media room designed to look the inside of whale, stairs which led nowhere, etc. The potential homehowners would not be in on the gag and the real estate agent would have to try and sell them. This idea’s actually doable in theory (at least it would be legal); just really expensive to pull off. > > How about a quirky family dramedy about a blended family (with a bunch of kids ranging from preteen to high school age) that runs a resort. A _clothing optional_ resort; one parent an avid life long naturist, the other a recent convert. Their older kids would be all over the map between embracing naturism and being embaressed by the whole thing. Not even HBO could pull that off. Maybe it’d work in Germany. > \ I would totally watch both of those. > [@Shagnasty](#): > > I would love to have the BORING channel that shows what things are really like for lots of things. It would have to be publicly funded because it is the antithesis of what the existing media is all about but it would be informative. > > Some ideas for episodes: > > 1. Marriage after the fairy tale wedding - setting budgets, schedules and expectations. A few good examples will be shown along with some that don’t make it and have to go through divorce and set up another life later. > > 2. Underbelly of Prestigious Professions - ER Doctors alternate between savings lives and fighting with HMO’s and other insurance companies over approved treatment plans. Firefighters and police officers discuss back at the office how they would totally save that hot blonde if the opportunity ever came up. Soldiers gossip about what they heard is going on back in Hollywood based on their limited internet time and wonder when that bag of beef jerky is coming in from home. > > 3. Retirement life - you will get to pursue your dreams one day but things are so expensive right now. The kids are so busy too. What do they do all the time? I should volunteer for something but I don’t have the time myself between all the appointments and riff-raff going on. The show “How It’s Made” which documents how ordinary, household things are made is surprisingly interesting - these shows might also be. > [@Lemur866](#): > > \ > > The other great idea I had was, “Who Wants To Be A Reality Show Producer?” Ten people compete to pitch their reality show ideas to a panel of showbiz insiders and some random drug-addled washed-up former starlet, and the winner gets their own reality show. From your lips to God’s ears. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/38 "2011-02-26T23:12:22Z")
You could make “Survivor” a hell of a lot more interesting. No voting on my version. You win $1 million for every head you take. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/39 "2011-02-27T17:04:48Z")
A panel game where contestants have to genuinlly commit a crime, a mugging, bank robbery, burgulary etc. Showing characters having a dump, menstruating, nose picking. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632/40 "2011-02-27T19:16:05Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You could make “Survivor” a hell of a lot more interesting. > > No voting on my version. You win $1 million for every head you take. Has anyone here seen the movie **Series 7**? It was about a reality show wherein six contestants are picked at random from society and have to kill one another to survive. The one left alive at the end wins. (I forget what the prize was - either their freedom or some amount of money.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-tv-could-show-anything/572632.md?page=3)