# If wishes were horses, beggers would ride. Whats your wish? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085 "2002-07-15T17:38:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/21 "2002-07-16T04:24:18Z")
I would wish that I lived in the SW universe and married a hot flyboy and had hot se\>\<0r every night. And that I had a tail. I don’t know why, but I think a tail would look cool. ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/22 "2002-07-16T05:12:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*I wish for a cheese sandwich! \*\* No! Sassy, the lesser HooHoo ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/23 "2002-07-16T05:18:25Z")
I wish for the ability to make unrealistic, arbitrary demands of the cosmos. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/24 "2002-07-16T05:30:14Z")
Okay, you guys who want those monkey butlers… maybe the monkey butlers could serve cheese sandwiches at the party where my relatives come back from the dead! Heigh-ho, we _all_ win! ---
**Author:** ![VDarlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e56c9b/32.png) [@VDarlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VDarlin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/25 "2002-07-16T05:34:35Z")
Wish I wasn’t in such a fury at the moment, and could join in the fun, but right now I really wish that alcohol didn’t exist. ~V ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/26 "2002-07-16T06:15:51Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Guinastasia_ > I would wish that I lived in the SW universe and married a hot flyboy and had hot se\>\<0r every night. Suddenly, I’m in a much bigger hurry to finish my Boba Fett costume and that R2D2 replica I’m building… OK, my turn: I wish for a working Green Lantern ring, but without the stupid 24 hour waiting period or the yellow weakness. Or, barring that, a new computer for **Flamsterette\_X**. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/27 "2002-07-16T06:29:34Z")
**Res** , what can I say? You’re sweet, because you took my as yet unformed wish and made it known to the denizens of this message board. On the other hand, you’re freaky since you already knew what I was going to say. Whichever it is, I like you fine, anyways. 🙂 So, since **Res** has taken my first wish, here are some of my alternative wishes I wish happy marriages for all my friends. For myself, I wish that I wasn’t feeling the way I am right now. I also wish that I had the unconditonal love of people in my life. I wish that the kids at church would talk to me more. (they’re so cute, and I love them) I wish that I could have a good relationship with someone. (not likely to happen in this life) I wish that my friends would always be there for me. I wish that my parents weren’t the way they are. I wish for good and safe trips for my friends who are travelling now. I have more, but perhaps they should be saved for a later time. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![GopherGod72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f0a364/32.png) [@GopherGod72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GopherGod72)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/28 "2002-07-16T17:34:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Creaky \* > \*\*Okay, you guys who want those monkey butlers… maybe the monkey butlers could serve cheese sandwiches at the party where my relatives come back from the dead! Heigh-ho, we _all_ win! \*\* I dunno… will your returned dead relatives be in any stage of decomposition? Cause if so… I might not be hungry for the cheese sammiches… ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/29 "2002-07-16T18:23:04Z")
I’m thinking the dead relatives in question may be a bit dusty and slightly worse for wear, **Goph** , but unless we use one of those monkey butler’s paws to call them back, we should be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/30 "2002-07-16T19:18:51Z")
Hot Dog! Got my wish! All of yours are coming shortly! (if it doesn’t come, that means you must have done something wrong! :D) ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/31 "2002-07-16T19:28:55Z")
I wish I had a friend. ---
**Author:** ![breaknrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@breaknrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaknrun)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/32 "2002-07-16T19:57:10Z")
I wish for a life without consequences or responsibility. Barring that, adamantine claws ala wolverine and a space ship that can do warp speed so I can do my Spaceman Spiff thing, oh and also I’ll need a map to show me where the interesting places are. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/33 "2002-07-16T20:58:28Z")
I wish that a Mother Bear would tell me a story. That’s only a little wish, so I might be able to have it. Otherwise, I wish for one of the monkey butlers. And a typewriter. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/34 "2002-07-17T00:37:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\* > Hot damn! My wish came true! > > Thanks for starting this thread, **Goph** , and sharing your magical powers! I’ll bet the talking monkey is jumpin’ up and down on \*\*DAVE’\*\*s head and reciting the Gettysburg Address by now! \*\* Man, now I wish this monkey would stop jumping on my head and shut up and get me some aspirin. ---
**Author:** ![sundog66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@sundog66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sundog66)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/35 "2002-07-17T01:09:46Z")
My wish is to be dependently wealthy. I hear a lot of talk about being independently wealthy, and I always wanted to know what the alternative would entail… ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/36 "2002-07-17T01:53:31Z")
Only one wish? I’m _supposed_ to get **three** –that’s the _rules_! 1. I want my own house. 2. I want to lose weight and never ever gain it back again 3. I want a nifty wrist killing-thingie that looks like a scorpion and goes \\. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/37 "2002-07-17T02:38:46Z")
I wish one of two things … that I could have a relationship with a girl that I know that I find to be beautiful and wonderful and caring and amazing … or just get over this fucking crush. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/38 "2002-07-17T03:19:45Z")
For me? Either true love, or money. Preferably both. But, since in all likelihood, I’m going to die alone, I might as well just wish for money. Ranchoth (I’d just want to never have to eat processed lunch meat again.) ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/39 "2002-07-17T03:20:40Z")
Wait…wait…we **all** know that wishes have to have an ironic twist attached to them, because we didn’t use **quite** the right phrasing. Ergo: - **Gopher God** turns into that old guy from those financial commercials. You know: “We make money the old fashioned way. We earn it.” -The Southampton football club just won free movie tickets. - **Johnny L.A.** gets his own helicopter, but it’s in the bottom of a parking garage and he has no way of getting it out. - **gatopescado** gains a pound every time someone makes a wish. - **MachV** is on an uncontrollable, laser-filled rampage. The military is currently after him. - **Ukelele Ike** either turns into a cheese sandwhich, or is attacked by zombie cheese, or the cheese is a little dry. - **DAVEW007** finds himself on the Planet of the Apes. The Mark Wohlberg version. - **Creaky’s** relatives are climbing out of their crypts. She forgot to wish them back to health, too. 😃 - **Lodrain** is gifted with a cat so cute, she can’t stand it. It’s got huge cartoon eyes and perpetually demands attention. - **kat** gets a million elephants and a little dollar, and a monkey that writes bad poetry. - **Guinastasaia** ends up with Porkins. And she gets more of a stump than a tail. -I’m out of ironic punishments. Please, continue. Go nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/40 "2002-07-17T03:27:13Z")
Heeee!!! Excellent!!! 😃 I love when magic goes bad!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085.md?page=3)