# If wishes were horses, beggers would ride. Whats your wish? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085 "2002-07-15T17:38:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/41 "2002-07-17T13:28:27Z")
I burned my monkey!! ok, then… **breaknrun** winds up trapped inside a comic book written by Frank Tieri. He has to act out of character and is forced to look surprised when obvious plot points slam him in the face like a two-ton boulder. Oh, and answer fan mail. ---
**Author:** ![breaknrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@breaknrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaknrun)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/42 "2002-07-17T14:41:02Z")
sheesh, **MachV** still sore at me over that girl? 🙂 OK, **Squish** gets his very own [Barbie Dream House](http://www.dmartstores.com/bardeldream.html), loses his right arm in an accident involving some farm equipment and gets a Super Stretch scorpion bracelet (right handed model only.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/43 "2002-07-17T15:09:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by breaknrun \* > \*\*sheesh, **MachV** still sore at me over that girl? 🙂 \*\* [Groucho voice] No, but after last night, _she_ is![/GV] ::rimshot:: Hey, don’t blame me. It’s those damn ironic magic monkey butlers! Let’s just be glad we’re not F\_X. Boy, is _she_ in for it! ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/44 "2002-07-17T15:28:08Z")
Non-selfish wish: I wish no one would ever be cruel to an animal or child ever again. Selfish wish: I wish I could lose fat in all the proper places and never gain it back again. Barring that, I wish to win the next Texas lottery worth over fifty million dollars. The big prize, not the small ones. (Find a flaw in that spell!) ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/45 "2002-07-17T19:59:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by throatshot \* > \*\*Non-selfish wish: > > I wish no one would ever be cruel to an animal or child ever again.\*\* \ Hear, hear! Oh, how I wish your wish would come true! **breaknrun** : > [@](#): > > OK, Squish gets his very own Barbie Dream House, loses his right arm in an accident involving some farm equipment and gets a Super Stretch scorpion bracelet (right handed model only.) You’re evil, I tells ya, evil! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/46 "2002-07-17T20:52:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by throatshot \* > \*\*I wish I could lose fat in all the proper places and never gain it back again. Barring that, I wish to win the next Texas lottery worth over fifty million dollars. The big prize, not the small ones. > > (Find a flaw in that spell!) \*\* In today’s news, reports of the fifty million individual winners of last months lottery are beginning to trickle in. One winner, known only as **throatshot** , had been reported missing 48 hours after the SDMB area resident was seen burning every personal belonging and proclaiming to “be starting over fresh”. The incident was, of course, prior to the news that the lottery winnings would amount to only 1 dollar. (before taxes) “I done seen ole throaty walkin round the downtown”, says SDMB area resident MachV, “Looked like a waif, probl’y ain’t et in a couple o weeks. Musta lost dern near 70 pounds!” Authorities are still trying to round up those like **throatshot** , who have turned into vagrants after performing similar actions and quitting their jobs. It is believed that therapy and society reintegration programs will help the winners get back on the right track. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/47 "2002-07-17T22:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Creaky \* > \*\*Heeee!!! Excellent!!! 😃 I love when magic goes bad!! \*\* When Magic Goes Bad – band name! (or album title) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/48 "2002-07-18T02:21:42Z")
Porkins ate it over Yavin. I’m thinking Face Loran. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/49 "2002-07-18T02:26:57Z")
[alcohol talking] I wish I could get laid. [/alcohol talking] ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/50 "2002-07-18T03:43:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I wish one of two things … that I could have a relationship with a girl that I know that I find to be beautiful and wonderful and caring and amazing … or just get over this fucking crush. My wish is the same as Colin’s…I wish that a certain man would realize how lucky he is that I like him so much and fall madly in love with me and make sweet sweet love to me all night long, or that I would stop liking him already. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/51 "2002-07-18T10:26:57Z")
Err, **ResIpsaLoquitor** , I appreciate the cute kitty and all, but… I know it’s impossible to tell what gender a person really is over the Internet, but I’ll come forward and say that I’m male. It’s okay, though - I once got a letter from a womans’ college telling me how advantageous it would be for ‘a woman of the future’ like me to enroll. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sebhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@Sebhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebhal)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/52 "2002-07-18T12:36:50Z")
I just wish I could be a dad for the first time. People keep saying “You have a lovely new house, are you going to start a family soon?” I just want to yell “WE’VE BEEN TRYING FOR SEVEN MONTHS!” I know it’s not that long in the grand scheme of things, but it seems a long time. N. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/53 "2002-07-18T13:04:13Z")
Bwa ha ha ha! Good one, **MachV**. ---
**Author:** ![blinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@blinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinx)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/54 "2002-07-18T13:11:59Z")
I wish for someone to love and spend my life with again. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085/55 "2002-07-18T19:39:17Z")
I like to look back over this thread and muse that some of us have what others have wished for, and some of us don’t want what others wish for! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-wishes-were-horses-beggers-would-ride-whats-your-wish/119085.md?page=2)