# If women have suitors, what do men have? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626 "2003-12-07T22:12:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/1 "2003-12-07T22:12:31Z")
As some of you know, I’ve been doing the online dating thing this fall. (It’s going okay – thanks for asking. I don’t want to jinx anything, but anyone who wants to cross their fingers, don lucky socks, or send good vibes this way in preparation for a Tuesday night dinner date – your help would be appreciated.) One of the developments of my adventures has been a new friend of the male persuasion, who I’ll call by the amazingly clever pseudonym “M.” We met as a possible match, and despite a little waffling on that on either side, we’ve pretty much ended up as pals, spending hours commiserating on our various misadventures, and offering behavioral translations, unsolicited advice, and color commentary. M. and I have noted an interesting phenomenon – the queue of potentials never actually gets all that much shorter, though the membership changes fairly regularly. There’s always a group of a few people, each at a different stage (preliminary email, email correspondence/talking on the phone, first meet, first date, second date), and though not everyone goes through the full progression – and sometimes it seems like the whole queue quits at once – there’s actually a fairly standard number of members in that queue. We’ve also noted an inequity in the English language – namely, the lack of agood word for the “potentials” in M’s queue. I can blithely refer to my suitors, beaux, admirers – there are no equivalents for the women who he’s talking with at any time. Now, clearly this is about the different things courtship has been about for men and women, historically – it has been the case that the women have been pursued, and so that terms for the pursuers have been developed. Thirty years after the start of the modern women’s movement, however, there’s still no language to talk about the women who might, en masse, be pursuing a man. (Harem is a post-consummation term – and refers to the group, not to the individuals.) M. and I were talking about this this afternoon. “I know,” I said, “I’ll post it on the Dope. They’re smart people. They’ll come up with something.” He was skeptical. Prove him wrong, fellow Dopers – resurrect or coin a term for the women who are presenting themselves as potential SO’s to a male. Equality demands it! ---
**Author:** ![DaisyFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@DaisyFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaisyFace)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/2 "2003-12-07T22:17:32Z")
You could just be silly and reverse the words: Beaux=Belles, Suitors=Dressors, etc. LOL! I am actually a fan of “admirers”, being non-gender-specific and all. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/3 "2003-12-07T22:43:13Z")
How about… persuers. Interessantes. Woo-ettes. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/4 "2003-12-07T23:18:11Z")
My friend refers to the women he’s intrested in as Targets, but thats just him 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/5 "2003-12-08T02:09:46Z")
**HEADACHES!** ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/6 "2003-12-08T02:10:11Z")
SUITS! ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/7 "2003-12-08T02:24:59Z")
Suitettes? Suitees? ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/8 "2003-12-08T02:27:01Z")
since women have beaux, men have joes (jo plural, which means sweetheart or dear)? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/9 "2003-12-08T04:38:41Z")
How about “inamorata”: Pronunciation: i-"na-m&-'rä-t& Function: noun Etymology: Italian innamorata, from feminine of innamorato, past participle of innamorare to inspire with love, from in- (from L) + amore love, from Latin amor Date: 1651 : a woman with whom one is in love or has intimate relations Synonyms: girl friend, baby, beloved, flame, honey, ladylove, steady, sweetheart, sweetie, truelove ---
**Author:** ![jesleigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@jesleigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesleigh)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/10 "2003-12-08T04:42:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > \*\ ***HEADACHES!** \*\* I have to agree with this one 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/11 "2003-12-08T04:47:46Z")
I always thought it was that women had “suitors” and gentlemen had “courtees” (an apostrophe above the first or second “e” depending on the French spelling). Tripler No! I’m serious! I’ve heard this before. I just can’t find a cite. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/12 "2003-12-08T04:50:18Z")
And you want this left highbrow I take it? Ummmmmm I dunno can I take door number 2? ---
**Author:** ![bindera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@bindera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bindera)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/13 "2003-12-08T17:53:16Z")
I second inamorato-inamorata. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/14 "2003-12-08T18:19:40Z")
According to _Mallrats_ (and when it comes to matters of language, who better to turn to than the guy who plays Silent Bob?), “suitorette” is a word. According to [www.dictionary.com](http://www.dictionary.com) it isn’t. I know who I’m sticking with. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/15 "2003-12-08T18:49:57Z")
Hmmm, I’m likin’ “wooettes,” “inamorata” (the plural of which, I suspect, isn’t “inamoratae” – ?), and “suitorettes,” but am not experiencing full-tilt “Eureka” on any of 'em. Keep the suggestions coming, gang. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/16 "2003-12-08T20:10:58Z")
A baseball team? ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/17 "2003-12-08T21:32:47Z")
inamorata – plural would be _inamorate_, but by dropping the second N the word has been hauled into English, so I guess the plural would be inamoratas. Gah. ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/18 "2003-12-08T21:46:46Z")
Pant Suitors ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/19 "2003-12-08T23:47:00Z")
Q. If women have suitors, what do men have? A. No-one. Uh, anyway… groupies? Quote friend quotes? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626/20 "2003-12-09T00:37:57Z")
Prowlers. Huntresses. Tigresses. Predators. Take your pick. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-women-have-suitors-what-do-men-have/217626.md?page=2)