# If WW2 was an online RTS... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 22, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678 "2005-07-22T17:03:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/1 "2005-07-22T17:03:13Z")
Y’all might have seen this already. If so, my apologies - I did to a search on “benny-tow” for all applicable forums (MPSIMS, Cafe, IMHO): The original can be found here: [http://forum.thoselog.com/index.php?showtopic=151&pid=955&mode=threaded&show=&st=&](http://forum.thoselog.com/index.php?showtopic=151&pid=955&mode=threaded&show=&st=&) Not wanting to get in trouble with Da Rules, I edited out all _correctly_ spelled profanities. If you want to read it in all its unedited glory, check out the link above… … If World War Two had been an RTS game, it would have gone a little something like this… If World War Two had been an RTS game, it would have gone a little something like this… _Hitler[AoE] has joined the game._ _Eisenhower has joined the game._ _paTTon has joined the game._ _Churchill has joined the game._ _benny-tow has joined the game._ _T0J0 has joined the game._ _Roosevelt has joined the game._ _Stalin has joined the game._ _deGaulle has joined the game._ Roosevelt: hey sup T0J0: y0 Stalin: hi Churchill: hi Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks! paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks T0JO: lol Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression! benny-tow: haha america sux Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool? Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever Stalin: cool deGaulle: \*\*\*\* Hitler rushed some1 help Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy Roosevelt: i dont got \*\*\*\* to help, sry Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me Roosevelt: get antiair guns Churchill: i cant afford them benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is? paTTon: stfu Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick Eisenhower: i cant do \*\*\*\* til rosevelt gives me an army paTTon: yah hurry the fock up Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck _deGaulle has left the game._ Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k? benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair? benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head? Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u Hitler[AoE]: wtf Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me! T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol benny-tow: haha benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1 T0J0: o \*\*\*\* i cant help u i got my hands full Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help Roosevelt: yah thats right \*\*\*\*\* im comin for ya Stalin: church help me Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here Stalin: dont be an arss Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late Eisenhower: LOL benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help Hitler: o man ur focked paTTon: oh what now biotch Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol _benny-tow has been eliminated._ benny-tow: lame Roosevelt: gj patton paTTon: thnx Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record Eisenhower: Nuts! benny~tow: wtf that mean? Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun _**socker Stalin: rofl T0J0: HAHAHHAA Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated. benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL Stalin: OMG LMAO! Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows Hitler[AoE] has left the game paTTon: hahahhah T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs benny~tow: shut up noob Roosevelt: haha wut a moron paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now? Eisenhower: yah me too T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol Eisenhower: fock u paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie Stalin: go to hell lol paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk Eisenhower: yah this is gay Roosevelt has left the game. Hitler[AoE]: wtf? Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join tru\_m4n has joined the game. tru\_m4n: hi all T0J0: hey Stalin: sup Churchill: hi tru\_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff! tru\_m4n: NUKES! HOLY \*\*\*\* I GOT NUKES Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz tru\_m4n: no way i only got like a couple Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets T0J0: wtf is nukes? T0J0: holy holyhoyl**_\*! _T0J0 has been eliminated._ _The Allied team has won the game!_ Eisenhower: awesome! Churchill: gg noobs no re T0J0: thats bull\*\*\*\* u fockin suck _T0J0 has left the game._ _Eisenhower has left the game._ Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for \*\*\*\* Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss tru\_m4n: l8r all benny~tow: bye Churchill: l8r Stalin: fock u all tru\_m4n: shut up commie lol _tru\_m4n has left the game._ benny~tow: lololol u commie Churchill: ROFL Churchill: bye commie _Churchill has left the game._ _benny~tow has left the game._ Stalin: i hate u all fags _Stalin has left the game._ paTTon: lol no1 is left paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep _paTTon has been eliminated._ paTTon: o sh1t! _paTTon has left the game._ ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/2 "2005-07-22T17:14:54Z")
ROFL! > [@](#): > > Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army Classic! ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/3 "2005-07-22T17:24:26Z")
I have to admit that I found this quite amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/4 "2005-07-22T17:26:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Stalin: church help me > Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here > Stalin: dont be an arss > Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late One of many classic exchanges in this well-done piece. ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/5 "2005-07-22T17:40:12Z")
_France has joined the game_ Hitler[AoE]: Boo! _France has left the game_ ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/6 "2005-07-23T08:07:11Z")
Genius: Eisenhower: Nuts! benny~tow: wtf that mean? Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/7 "2005-07-23T08:27:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Not wanting to get in trouble with Da Rules, I edited out all correctly spelled profanities. If you want to read it in all its unedited glory, check out the link above… Far as I know, there are no rules against profanities. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/8 "2005-07-23T08:53:58Z")
The rules are against being a dickhead, not swearing, although I’d imagine it’s considered polite to be less profane out of the pit than you’d otherwise be. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/9 "2005-07-23T14:00:21Z")
That was hilarious. Oddly enough, I could picture them saying things like that. ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/10 "2005-07-23T15:34:14Z")
funny stuff ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/11 "2005-07-23T16:46:39Z")
Funny as hell, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/12 "2005-07-23T17:15:25Z")
I loved this part > [@](#): > > tru\_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff! > tru\_m4n: NUKES! HOLY \*\*\*\* I GOT NUKES > Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz > tru\_m4n: no way i only got like a couple > Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets > T0J0: wtf is nukes? > T0J0: holy **holy** hoyl\*\*\*\*! > _T0J0 has been eliminated._ Too funny! ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/13 "2005-07-23T19:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is? > paTTon: stfu > Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys This part was subtle, but smart and funny. ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/14 "2005-07-23T19:48:31Z")
Brilliant. Hitler[AoE] & T0J0 got totally pwned!! LMAO!!!1111onethousand,onehundred&eleven!!! ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/15 "2005-07-24T00:23:36Z")
What does [AOE] in Hitler[AOE] mean? Yes, I’m aware that it’s a stupid question and I should know it. ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/16 "2005-07-24T00:26:05Z")
I think it means Axis of Evil. My husband, sons, and I asked the same question in the CBCD household, as we howled over this around the kitchen table. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/17 "2005-07-24T01:02:27Z")
I don’t think Axis of Evil, that’s more for Iran etc. Army of Excellence? Age Over Entities? ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/18 "2005-07-24T03:35:14Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > What does [AOE] in Hitler[AOE] mean? > Yes, I’m aware that it’s a stupid question and I should know it. It means Axis of Evil, but more importantly what’s funny is that that is how “clans” identify themselves. As a general rule, if you go to online games and see a name followed by [Namehere] it means that person is part of a clan. Which makes the writer of this even more brilliant. All the right touches here. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/19 "2005-07-24T03:46:56Z")
Huh, never would have guessed. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678/20 "2005-07-24T11:55:50Z")
> [@](#): > > paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie > Stalin: go to hell lol > paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk What does ‘afk’ mean? Thanks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-ww2-was-an-online-rts/313678.md?page=2)