# If you all don’t cease calling me Satan, I will have to sing show tunes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374 "2006-09-04T05:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/1 "2006-09-04T05:48:26Z")
You may recall [this epoch-making LJ entry.](http://cathiefromcanada.blogspot.com/2004/09/live-show-tunes.html) (Malheureusement, the original seems to be flocked now.) Perhaps it’s silly, but I guess it never hurts to be prepared: I’ve been putting together my repertoire for just this sort of occasion. The shortlist, in order, is: “La Vie Bohème” from _Rent_ “My Night” from _Closer to Heaven_ “Cabaret” from _Cabaret_ “When You’re Good to Mama” from _Chicago_ “The Phantom of the Opera” from _The Phantom of the Opera_ So what’s on your list? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/2 "2006-09-04T06:02:19Z")
_laughs, cries, and applauds_ ‘Defying Gravity’ from _Wicked_ ‘On My Own’ from _Les Miserables_ ‘Roxie’ from _Chicago_ ‘When You Got It’ from \*The Producers \* ‘Big, Blonde, and Beautiful’ from _Hairspray_ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/3 "2006-09-04T06:17:29Z")
_À tout seigneur tout honneur_ - I’ll keep “There’s No Business like Show Business” in reserve. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/4 "2006-09-04T06:25:56Z")
_Hernando’s Hideaway_ and _Ssssteam Heat_ from Pajama Game _Possibilities_ from Superman _The Friendliest Thing Two People Can Do_ Was that from Superman, also? _The Acid Queen_ and _Fiddling About_ from Tommy _Officer Krupke_ from West Side Story _Fugue For Tinhorns In Cheap Suits_ and _Luck Be A Lady_ from Guys and Dolls, and maybe _Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat_ just for irony. _It Ain’t Necessarily So_ from Porgy and Bess ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/5 "2006-09-04T10:19:20Z")
Tits and Ass (Chorus Line) It’s All The Same (Man of La Mancha) Jesus Christ, Superstar (Jesus Christ, Superstar) ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/6 "2006-09-04T11:55:25Z")
Now _that_ is a hilarious and classy way to get rid of obnoxious proslet… evangili… douchebags! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/7 "2006-09-04T11:55:35Z")
“Sixteen (Going on Seventeen)” – _The Sound of Music_ – esp. if there’s enough empty space in the car to reprise the character’s leaping on and off some empty seats, holding onto a pole, etc. “If I Was a Rich Man” – _The Fiddler on the Roof_ “Time Warp” – \*Rocky Horror Picture Show \* (yeah, I know, it’s a movie, but the crowd would know it and maybe join in on the dance moves) “Angry Inch” from _Hedwig and the Angry Inch_ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/8 "2006-09-04T12:27:01Z")
Actually, The Rocky Horror Show has played Broadway. Terrace Mann was GREAT! Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors Popular from Wicked My Philosphy from You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown Coat of Many Colors from Joseph. The bit about “It was red and yellow and green and orange and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and violet and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gold and purple and white and pink and orange and blue” ought to go over really well. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/9 "2006-09-04T12:28:13Z")
The ENTIRETY of “Jesus Christ Superstar” (including that unfortunate song “What’s the Buzz”) and perhaps also “Godspell” “Oh, What a Circus” and “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”-Evita a truncated version of the opening of “Sweeny Todd” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/10 "2006-09-04T12:32:59Z")
Rainbow High from Evita. Really camp it up I’m their Savior, that’s what they call me So Lauren Bacall me, anything goes. To be fantastic, I want to be RAINBOW HIGH in fabulous colours… You’re not decorating a guy for a night on the town. And I’m not a second-rate queen getting kicks with a crown. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/11 "2006-09-04T13:51:51Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] _Possibilities_ from Superman [/quote] Wow! I didn’t think anyone remembered that one. Great song! I’ll have to stick with songs I can sing, since I know the lyrics. There were plenty I’d love to sing, but probably would just screw up. “Put on a Happy Face” – Bye Bye Birdie “Be Like the Bluebird” – Anything Goes (since I sang in on stage) “I Get a Kick Out of You” – Anything Goes “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat” – Guys and Dolls “Heart” – Damn Yankees “Racing with the Clock” – Pajama Game If I knew the lyrics better, I’d add: “Master of the House” – Les Miserables “Those Were the Good Old Days” – Damn Yankees “One” – A Chorus Line “Cell Block Tango” – Chicago ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/12 "2006-09-04T14:37:45Z")
Originally posted by **Annie-Xmas** > [@](#): > > Rainbow High from Evita. Really camp it up Don’t forget this little exchange: Eva: They called me a whore. They actually called me a whore. Admiral: Senora Peron, it’s an easy mistake. I’m still called an admiral yet I gave up the sea long ago. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/13 "2006-09-04T15:00:15Z")
Whoosh. That’s the sound of this entire thread going right past me at a blinding rate of speed. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/14 "2006-09-04T15:09:21Z")
Pretty much the entirety of _The Mikado_ and _The Pirates of Penzance_, starting with “If Someday It Might Happen.” _As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!_ ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/15 "2006-09-04T15:27:29Z")
What about the cla-a-a-a-sics? “I Cain’t Say No” from Oklahoma “I Enjoy Being a Girl” from Flower Drum Song “Getting to Know You” from The King & I “You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught” and “There is Nothing Like a Dame” from South Pacific ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/16 "2006-09-04T15:30:32Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] “You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught” [/QUOTE] That’s just what I wrote, until I saw your post on preview. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/17 "2006-09-04T18:49:08Z")
The title escapes me Herod’s song from Jesus Christ Superstar “Prove to me that you’re no fool, walk across my swimming pool” But, I’d change some lines like “Turn my water into _whine_” sung in the voice of Fran Fine. Basically, the whole song would be filled with stereotypical Jewish mannerisms. Fershlugginer, meshuggina king of the Jews. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/18 "2006-09-04T19:00:28Z")
I’m not gay, but I’d just do _There’s No Business Like Show Business_ in a full-on Ethel Merman impersonation and claim that I’ve been possessed by the spirit of theater. (Everyone knows that gays love the theater). Then I’d probably just go on to do a bunch of female-related songs: _I Feel Pretty_, _I Enjoy Being A Girl_, _How Lovely To Be A Woman_, _I’m Called Little Buttercup_, etc., etc., etc. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/19 "2006-09-04T19:06:38Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] I’m not gay [/QUOTE] What are you implying? I’m not gay either. A man can like boobies and showtunes too ya know. Especially when it’s Bernadette Peters singing Sondheim. Og, ya don’t think female Dopers think I’m gay? That they fail to approach me with offers of money, geek toys, and sexual ecstacy because they think I’m gay? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/20 "2006-09-04T19:08:55Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] The title escapes me Herod’s song from Jesus Christ Superstar “Prove to me that you’re no fool, walk across my swimming pool” But, I’d change some lines like “Turn my water into _whine_” sung in the voice of Fran Fine. Basically, the whole song would be filled with stereotypical Jewish mannerisms. Fershlugginer, meshuggina king of the Jews. [/QUOTE] You’re talking about “King Herod’s Song.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374.md?page=2)