# If you all don’t cease calling me Satan, I will have to sing show tunes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374 "2006-09-04T05:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/21 "2006-09-04T19:12:02Z")
**Matt** , all I can say is, I hope to be in your Metro car if it ever happens. 😃 I don’t really know any show tunes, so I’d probably just sing some Muppet classics instead. It ain’t easy being green. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/22 "2006-09-04T19:21:48Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] What are you implying? I’m not gay either. [/QUOTE] Hey, I like showtunes too. It’s just that the impetus for this was a story about a gay man who was annoyed by fundamentalist Christians commenting he was going to go to Hell if he didn’t change his ways and decided to sing show tunes. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/23 "2006-09-04T19:27:12Z")
So long as the ladies know I’m interested. I just happened to feel pretty and the need to express myself in song. What man hasn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/24 "2006-09-04T19:33:18Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] So long as the ladies know I’m interested. I just happened to feel pretty and the need to express myself in song. What man hasn’t? [/QUOTE] I think musicals are an art form, so “Loves showtunes” is on my list of ideal man qualities. Just so you know. 🙂 Other than the ones already listed (particularly, “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat”), I think I’d opt for some of those tunes that everyone knows, just so that we could get the whole car singing along. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/25 "2006-09-04T19:48:10Z")
If you have a couple of friends with you, then start singing: \*Three little maids from school are we Pert as a school-girl well can be Filled to the brim with girlish glee Three little maids from school Everything is a source of fun Nobody’s safe, for we care for none Life is a joke that’s just begun Three little maids from school\* I’m a G&S fan, so sue me! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/26 "2006-09-05T06:09:53Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] Hey, I like showtunes too. It’s just that the impetus for this was a story about a gay man who was annoyed by fundamentalist Christians commenting he was going to go to Hell if he didn’t change his ways and decided to sing show tunes. [/QUOTE] Actually, the person who posted the LJ post quoted in the link in the OP was apparently a woman. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/27 "2006-09-05T06:10:58Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] _I Feel Pretty_ [/QUOTE] _steals for my list - I know this one by heart too._ _Of course you do, matt_ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/28 "2006-09-05T07:11:12Z")
Are we doing choreography too? With costumes? “Shall We Dance?” from _The King and I_ “Cell Block Tango” from _Chicago_ “Keep it Gay” from _The Producers_ “Dance at the Gym” from _West Side Story_ “Black Boys”/“White Boys” from _Hair_ “Can’t Help Lovin’ That Man” from _Showboat_ “We Are What We Are” from _La Cage aux Folles_ “Beautiful Girls” from _Follies_ “Cash for Your Trash” from _Ain’t Misbehavin’_ “His Love Makes Me Beautiful” from _Funny Girl_ ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/29 "2006-09-05T07:53:04Z")
Anything from WE Will Rock You. Two Ladies and Tomorrow Belongs To Me-Cabaret High Flying, Adored and Oh What a Circus-Evita Momma Look Sharp and Molasses to Rum-1776 Fugue for the Tinhorns-Guys and Dolls Hair and Donna-Hair Superstar-Jesus Christ Superstar Lonely Goatherd-The Sound of Music ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/30 "2006-09-05T07:57:12Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] _steals for my list - I know this one by heart too._ _Of course you do, matt_ [/QUOTE] Heh. I work in ladies’ clothing. (That is, the _product_ is ladies’ clothing.) I’m surrounded by pretty things all day. For some reason, this inspires me to whistle or sing “I Feel Pretty” from time-to-time. Okay, part of it is a perverse desire to fuck with some of the more atavistic blokes I work with. No, wait, that doesn’t sound exactly right, either. You know what I mean. On Friday, my manager surprised me by joining me in a duet. That was fun. Anyway, I recommend “Creature of the Night” or “I Can Make You A Man” from _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/31 "2006-09-05T12:11:03Z")
They’re Playing Our Song. For some reason, songs about songs seem to fit very well. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/32 "2006-09-05T13:49:05Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] Anyway, I recommend “Creature of the Night” or “I Can Make You A Man” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. [/QUOTE] By the first you mean “Touch-A Touch-A Touch-A Touch Me,” right? Great pick, but like some other songs already listed, it works best as a duet. Still, though, it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives ['em] insane… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/33 "2006-09-05T14:00:54Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] Heh. I work in ladies’ clothing. (That is, the _product_ is ladies’ clothing.) I’m surrounded by pretty things all day. For some reason, this inspires me to whistle or sing “I Feel Pretty” from time-to-time. Okay, part of it is a perverse desire to fuck with some of the more atavistic blokes I work with. No, wait, that doesn’t sound exactly right, either. You know what I mean. On Friday, my manager surprised me by joining me in a duet. That was fun. Anyway, I recommend “Creature of the Night” or “I Can Make You A Man” from _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. [/QUOTE] Nitpick: The musical was called “The Rocky Horror Show.” Run Freedom Run from Urinetown would be good. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/34 "2006-09-05T14:22:33Z")
As _South Pacific_ is the gayest looking '50s musical, in my opinion (check out the knotted shirt-tails on Bilis sometime) we must have, in addition to _Nothing Like a Dame_ : _Gonna Wash that Man Right Outta My Hair Honey Bun_ (I mean, really) \*A Wonderful Guy Cockeyed Optimist \* \ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/35 "2006-09-05T14:57:59Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] _steals for my list - I know this one by heart too._ _Of course you do, matt_ [/QUOTE] He feels pretty and witty and gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/36 "2006-09-05T15:39:14Z")
Defying Gravity - Wicked Down At Madeleine’s - King of Hearts You Still Have A Long Way To Go - Goodtime Charley Where I Want To Be - Chess If I Were A Rich Man - Fiddler on the Roof Of course, as enthusiastic as I am, and as much love for musical theatre as I harbor in my heart… sad truth is that I sing in the key of “off.” Which in this situation might be even more effective - who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/37 "2006-09-05T15:43:42Z")
And I’ve ranted about this before on these very boards… I defy the gayest gay man newly crowned Queen of Gaystinia to outmatch me on knowledge of and love for showtunes. Why in the world are the two subjects conflated?? What about liking show tunes can possibly be said to be gay? ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/38 "2006-09-05T15:59:01Z")
**silenus** , how about we perform Bunthorne and Grosvenor’s duet from _Patience_. I think that’s quite appropriate seeing as how it was originally going to be about two rival curates instead of rival poets. The irony, of course, will be utterly lost on the audience, but with nutters like those, isn’t it always? My personal choice for such an encounter (should I prove to possess the nerve) would be “Them Sobbin’ Women” from _Seven Brides for Seven Brothers_. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/39 "2006-09-05T16:03:44Z")
Sodomy from Meet The Feebles ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374/40 "2006-09-05T16:12:51Z")
“Bloody Mary” South Pacific “Try to Remember” Fantastics “Potiphar” from Joseph “We Beseech You” Godspell “When You’re a Jet” West Side Story “A New Argentina” Evita “The Little Things” Company “She Wouldn’t” A Little Night Music “Auto-da-fe” Candide [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-all-don-t-cease-calling-me-satan-i-will-have-to-sing-show-tunes/371374.md?page=3)