# If you are going to a family cookout what time do you normally show up? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517 "2017-05-27T01:15:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mmkt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mmkt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmkt)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/1 "2017-05-27T01:15:34Z")
I think 3pm to 4pm is a normal time to arrive. My aunt feels everyone should be at the cookout at 1pm?šŸ˜• Who goes to a cookout that early? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/2 "2017-05-27T01:44:38Z")
I arrive about the time the host declares as the arrival time. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/3 "2017-05-27T01:53:43Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I arrive about the time the host declares as the arrival time. Yup. Me too. ---
**Author:** ![mmkt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mmkt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmkt)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/4 "2017-05-27T01:55:34Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I arrive about the time the host declares as the arrival time. What if itā€™s not a set time? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/5 "2017-05-27T02:20:30Z")
> [@mmkt](#): > > What if itā€™s not a set time? If they canā€™t tell me when people ought to show up, Iā€™ll probably skip it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/6 "2017-05-27T02:25:25Z")
If itā€™s not a set time then I show up when itā€™s convenient for me. If the burgers arenā€™t ready yet you better have some chips and salsa for me to eat while I drink all your beer. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/7 "2017-05-27T02:30:28Z")
> [@mmkt](#): > > What if itā€™s not a set time? If only there was some device that would allow us to talk, from a distance, to the person throwing the party to find out what time we should show up. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/8 "2017-05-27T02:32:04Z")
Between 2 and 3 is our usual meet time. Dinner is usually served closer to 4 pm. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/9 "2017-05-27T02:32:10Z")
> [@mmkt](#): > > I think 3pm to 4pm is a normal time to arrive. My aunt feels everyone should be at the cookout at 1pm?šŸ˜• > > Who goes to a cookout that early? I agree with everyone else that I show up when the host says is a good time. As for who has a cookout at that time - lots of people. My mother certainly used to (doesnā€™t really do them anymore). Itā€™s lunch time. People tend to like to eat at lunchtime. Plus, my parents have a pool, and itā€™s a family friendly gathering, and the kids can swim for hours. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/10 "2017-05-27T02:44:15Z")
If a time is specified, thatā€™s when I show up. If the time is just listed as ā€œdinner timeā€, in the context of my extended family, that probably means about 1:00 or 2:00, since weā€™re of rural stock, and thatā€™s when we always have big family dinners. If itā€™s not even specified as ā€œdinner timeā€, then Iā€™d call up the hosts and ask. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/11 "2017-05-27T02:51:41Z")
Iā€™m assuming that a cookout is what we in Australia call a barbeque. In that case, it should be specified which meal is going to be shared with the family: either lunch or dinner (with exception for an ā€˜all dayā€™ piss-up). If lunch, Iā€™d expect to arrive around 11.30am to eat around 1pm. Dinner would be from 4pm. This gives plenty of time for guests to munch on some nibblies and have a few glasses of beer/wine. If kids, (especially younger kids) are involved, a definite meal time should be offered so that family members can get there closer to the mealtime and leave soon afterwards if they so desire. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/12 "2017-05-27T02:57:45Z")
Is your aunt the hostess? Then sheā€™s decided it should be 1:00. Or is she just one of the older family relatives who has an opinion about how things should be? In that case, what does the actual host say? In our family, the cookouts always start at 2:00 so everyone can get there by 5:00.šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![mmkt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mmkt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmkt)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/13 "2017-05-27T05:33:20Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Is your aunt the hostess? Then sheā€™s decided it should be 1:00. > > Or is she just one of the older family relatives who has an opinion about how things should be? In that case, what does the actual host say? > > In our family, the cookouts always start at 2:00 so everyone can get there by 5:00.šŸ™‚ No the Aunt is the one who has an opinion about how things should be ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/14 "2017-05-27T11:03:35Z")
Our family gatherings all tend to be afternoon affairs, whether cooking out or in. The main meal is generally ready around 1 or 2, and we start to head home by 4 at the latest. It works great for me since I live 2 hours away from everyone else. It also works out for Mom, who usually hosts, because everything is clean and put away before we all leave and she has the evening to relax as she sees fit. I donā€™t recall there ever being any discussion about the correct time to arrive or depart. ---
**Author:** ![Fleetwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fleetwood/32/271_2.png) [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/15 "2017-05-27T11:21:39Z")
> [@mmkt](#): > > No the Aunt is the one who has an opinion about how things should be Sign her up here. She sounds as if she would fit right in!šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/16 "2017-05-27T12:48:09Z")
> [@mmkt](#): > > No the Aunt is the one who has an opinion about how things should be If she prefers to have lunch around 1pm, then she can have it at home as usual, and go on to the family event later. Unless itā€™s the kind of family where the host is going to take offence that someone didnā€™t fancy deferring their big meal and therefore isnā€™t eating that much. If the latterā€™s the case, then Iā€™d just lay in extra popcorn and watch the two of them provide the floor-show. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/17 "2017-05-27T12:58:03Z")
I arrive when the host says to arrive. ā€œWhat time should we show up.ā€ ā€œWhenever.ā€ _loud sigh_ ā€œFine. When will dinner be served?ā€ ā€œAround 4, I guess.ā€ ā€œSee you at 4.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/18 "2017-05-27T13:32:52Z")
The OP doesnā€™t specify when the food is to be ready. A barbecue at our place isnā€™t just to eat. Itā€™s a time to socialize. People usually start coming at around 1. This is especially family members who have driven in from the suburbs and brought a dish. We have snacks and beer as things get organized. The burgers and dogs get thrown on the grill starting about 3 PM. The main gluttony takes place around 4. Friends of the family and neighbors may drift in any time. They usually come later. Thereā€™s usually plenty of food for anyone who shows up. In the old days, the party would continue indefinitely. After we were done eating, we would play poker or other games into the evening. A barbecue/cookout is meant to be an informal affair. The food is usually of a nature that it doesnā€™t matter when itā€™s ready. So people can show up when they want. If you want to socialize and hang out, show up early. If youā€™re mostly interested in the food, show up just before itā€™s ready. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/19 "2017-05-27T13:38:13Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > If only there was some device that would allow us to talk, from a distance, to the person throwing the party to find out what time we should show up. There is. Itā€™s called a letter. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/20 "2017-05-27T13:58:22Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Our family gatherings all tend to be afternoon affairs, whether cooking out or in. The main meal is generally ready around 1 or 2, and we start to head home by 4 at the latest. It works great for me since I live 2 hours away from everyone else. It also works out for Mom, who usually hosts, because everything is clean and put away before we all leave and she has the evening to relax as she sees fit. > > I donā€™t recall there ever being any discussion about the correct time to arrive or depart. I would love that. Our family gatherings, usually with my in-laws donā€™t usually get started until around 4:00 or so. I would much rather get together earlier. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517.md?page=2)