# If you are going to a family cookout what time do you normally show up? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517 "2017-05-27T01:15:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/21 "2017-05-27T14:35:11Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > The OP doesn’t specify when the food is to be ready. > > A barbecue at our place isn’t just to eat. It’s a time to socialize. > > People usually start coming at around 1. This is especially family members who have driven in from the suburbs and brought a dish. We have snacks and beer as things get organized. > > The burgers and dogs get thrown on the grill starting about 3 PM. The main gluttony takes place around 4. > > Friends of the family and neighbors may drift in any time. They usually come later. There’s usually plenty of food for anyone who shows up. > > In the old days, the party would continue indefinitely. After we were done eating, we would play poker or other games into the evening. > > A barbecue/cookout is meant to be an informal affair. The food is usually of a nature that it doesn’t matter when it’s ready. So people can show up when they want. > > If you want to socialize and hang out, show up early. If you’re mostly interested in the food, show up just before it’s ready. In my family, that was about right. We’d usually show up for the cookout festivities after church (if we went to 12 noon mass) or early afternoon if we went to an earlier mass. Generally, there was chips and dips, then food started getting thrown on the grill at around 2 through about 4. But I grew up in a family where Sunday dinner was (and still is) around 2-3 p.m., so our cookouts naturally try to fit in that schedule, since they typically were on Sundays. On Saturdays, they might start a little later. When I do them myself, I generally start having people over around 2-3 p.m., with the main dish (usually smoked meat of some sort) around 6 p.m., but now that everyone has small kids, I’m trying to get an earlier start on these things. ---
**Author:** ![mmkt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mmkt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmkt)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/22 "2017-05-27T16:40:54Z")
Some of the people coming are night owls and don’t wake up until 11am or 12pm. So getting there around 3pm or 4pm makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/23 "2017-05-27T19:18:32Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I arrive about the time the host declares as the arrival time. This. Unless I’m expecting to help out in some manner, in which case I’ll arrange my arrival time with the host accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![mmkt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mmkt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmkt)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/24 "2017-05-27T20:45:29Z")
This cookout is a fucking disaster . Arrived at 4pm and the food is still not done because my cousin has no idea how to use a grill. Everyone is hungry and the food is not cooking. I’m staying home next year. ---
**Author:** ![I.Dunno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9f8e36/32.png) [@I.Dunno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.Dunno)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/25 "2017-05-27T21:33:58Z")
> [@mmkt](#): > > This cookout is a fucking disaster . Arrived at 4pm and the food is still not done because my cousin has no idea how to use a grill. Everyone is hungry and the food is not cooking. > > I’m staying home next year. See, if you had listened to your auntie and arrived a couple hours early, you could have supervised your grilling-incompetent cousin and saved the day for everyone. Auntie knows best! ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/26 "2017-05-27T21:39:30Z")
As far as the last family cookout I’m about 12 years late and counting. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/27 "2017-05-27T22:59:50Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > If a time is specified, that’s when I show up. If the time is just listed as “dinner time”, in the context of my extended family, that probably means about 1:00 or 2:00, since we’re of rural stock, and that’s when we always have big family dinners. If it’s not even specified as “dinner time”, then I’d call up the hosts and ask. See, now that would throw me off completely. The only “dinner” that happens in the afternoon is Thanksgiving Dinner. If someone invited me over for dinner, and didn’t tell me the time, I’d probably show up at 7PM. Certainly no earlier than 6PM. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2017, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/28 "2017-05-29T00:06:39Z")
Unless it is specifically an evening invite, our events are typically noon- 1ish. Evenings are denoted by bonfire / campfire with a time the food hits the grill noted. These run into the midnight time frame. Afternoon events last until 4-5. Usually no grilling at these events. Mostly potluck. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/29 "2017-05-29T02:40:09Z")
Another vote for “when the host says”. The family in Florida hosts at various times, depending a lot on how long they want people around and what people will be up to. My dad and stepmother have a fairly set time, say starting around 3:30 or 4, eating around 4:30 or 5, and people leaving by 7. They’re getting older. My uncle and aunt have a pool, so we show up around noon or one. There are snacks and drinks. Everyone swims. The grill gets fired up and people fed in an hour or two. Food circulates, no one is hungry. My cousin and her husband also have a pool, so tend to start early and do things like crawfish early on, then burgers/steaks/hot dogs/whatever on the grill later on. People swim, play horseshoes, badminton, whatever. Young kids get “put down” for a nap if they need it, and many kids go to sleep before mom and dad leave. ---
**Author:** ![mmkt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mmkt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmkt)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2017, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517/30 "2017-05-29T03:41:17Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > Another vote for “when the host says”. The family in Florida hosts at various times, depending a lot on how long they want people around and what people will be up to. My dad and stepmother have a fairly set time, say starting around 3:30 or 4, eating around 4:30 or 5, and people leaving by 7. They’re getting older. > > My uncle and aunt have a pool, so we show up around noon or one. There are snacks and drinks. Everyone swims. The grill gets fired up and people fed in an hour or two. Food circulates, no one is hungry. > > My cousin and her husband also have a pool, so tend to start early and do things like crawfish early on, then burgers/steaks/hot dogs/whatever on the grill later on. People swim, play horseshoes, badminton, whatever. Young kids get “put down” for a nap if they need it, and many kids go to sleep before mom and dad leave. I definitely can’t leave before night time [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-are-going-to-a-family-cookout-what-time-do-you-normally-show-up/787517.md?page=1)