# If you can’t spell, step away from the database **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024 "2004-06-24T15:23:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Halleluau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/67e7ee/32.png) [@Halleluau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Halleluau)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/1 "2004-06-24T15:23:26Z")
Long time lurker, first time venter . . . For the love of all that is good and holy, please double-check – no – triple-freaking-check your spelling when you’re creating a table or column in the database. I now must purposely misspell words in order to retrieve this data and it’s making me mental! Some prime examples: a table called “comparision”, a column called “committment”, and my all-time favorite – a constant for a fucking comma called “COMA”! What in the blue blazes?!? First off, having to spell out the word comma is not an effective timesaver. Secondly, why do we need a constant for it in the first place, it’s not like the comma character is going to change in any way, so what the hell is the point? Now, I’m not a grammar Nazi and I understand when mistakes happen in emails or posts to message boards (trying to cover my ass in the inevitable case that there’s a typo in this very post), but it is intensely annoying to have to remember to make typos in order to write a query. And now that you’ve already gone and created the table and used it in lots of places, you don’t want to change it. Then WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE USING CONSTANTS FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE??? ggrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/2 "2004-06-24T15:37:57Z")
My boss does this on purpose; for example if he needs a local variable to keep a count of something or other, he will call it Kount - it drives me fucking potty; the code looks like it was written by a three-year-old. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/3 "2004-06-24T15:38:07Z")
I had a job once where whoever created the database spelled employee “employe” throughout. After I left that job, it took me a year till I could spell it correctly again. Aggravating as hell, I agree. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/4 "2004-06-24T15:42:38Z")
What a great rant! Hallelujah, Halleluau! ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/5 "2004-06-24T15:50:15Z")
Yay, developer rants! -Be consistent. EFTFiles \<\> EFT\_FILES \<\> EFTFile. -Clean up your commented out broke ass code. -Comment! Just 1 line will do: 'This is where we start doing such and such. -Bruce\_Daddy 6/24/2004 11:50a ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/6 "2004-06-24T15:59:43Z")
But rip out stupid comments like: 'In the following line, X is incremented each time Y is false. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/7 "2004-06-24T15:59:50Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > -Comment! Just 1 line will do: 'This is where we start doing such and such. -Bruce\_Daddy 6/24/2004 11:50a Are you kidding? I once worked for a guy that insisted on us putting 3 pages of comments at the top of every procedure. Date, name, weather, whatyouhadforlunch, shortstory, etc. OTOH, I once wrote this comment: “There are some procedures that defy any easy description, and no comments would suffice to explain them. This is one of them. Deal.” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/8 "2004-06-24T16:03:02Z")
In general, I think newcomers should _not_ make their first post in the Pit. Just starts you out giving everyone a bad impression. However, in this case I’ll make an exception. Preach it, Brother **Halleluau** , preach it! And welcome to the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Halleluau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/67e7ee/32.png) [@Halleluau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Halleluau)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/9 "2004-06-24T16:09:41Z")
The worst (ok, maybe not THE worst) is when someone goes through the trouble of commenting, but you can’t understand what in Sam Hill they’re talking about. The guy who created the “COMA” constant was not a native English speaker, so sometimes I have to read his comments with a Russian accent in order to understand what it means. (try saying “coma” with an accent, it’s less a typo and more of a phonetic spelling) He also has a section of code marked as the “Constracter” rather than “Constructer”. Sometimes it makes me laugh. Sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Halleluau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/67e7ee/32.png) [@Halleluau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Halleluau)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/10 "2004-06-24T16:12:25Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > In general, I think newcomers should _not_ make their first post in the Pit. Just starts you out giving everyone a bad impression. > > However, in this case I’ll make an exception. Preach it, Brother **Halleluau** , preach it! And welcome to the SDMB. Thanks! I thought about that, but I was so irritated that it actually made me register. I wanted to vent to someone who would appreciate it, but I didn’t want to trash talk to any other co-workers, so I figured I’d put it here. Also, I’m a sister. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/11 "2004-06-24T16:20:05Z")
> [@Halleluau](#): > > The worst (ok, maybe not THE worst) is when someone goes through the trouble of commenting, but you can’t understand what in Sam Hill they’re talking about. The guy who created the “COMA” constant was not a native English speaker, so sometimes I have to read his comments with a Russian accent in order to understand what it means. (try saying “coma” with an accent, it’s less a typo and more of a phonetic spelling) He also has a section of code marked as the “Constracter” rather than “Constructer”. Sometimes it makes me laugh. Sometimes. Cryptic logic is sometimes funny, too. If you know VB, you’ll get a kick out of the following (paraphrased) that I ran across when reviewing someone’s code: ```auto Sub MySub [...snip about 200 lines of code...] If I > 10 Then Exit Sub End If End Sub ``` ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/12 "2004-06-24T16:29:47Z")
Am I reading that right? He wrote an IF statement without another control to complete the loop, so that the sub was going to end no matter what the result of the IF? If so, BWAHAHAHAHAHA and I wonder how long it took the guy to catch it in the debugging. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/13 "2004-06-24T16:38:46Z")
I have nothing useful to add to the actual discussion, but I would like to say that **Halleluau** is one hell of a slick username. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/14 "2004-06-24T17:40:54Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Cryptic logic is sometimes funny, too. If you know VB, you’ll get a kick out of the following (paraphrased) that I ran across when reviewing someone’s code: > > ```auto > > Sub MySub > > [...snip about 200 lines of code...] > > If I > 10 Then > Exit Sub > End If > > End Sub > > ``` Hell, you don’t have to be a developer to understand how completely moronic that is. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/15 "2004-06-24T17:43:39Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Am I reading that right? He wrote an IF statement without another control to complete the loop, so that the sub was going to end no matter what the result of the IF? > > If so, BWAHAHAHAHAHA and I wonder how long it took the guy to catch it in the debugging. Yep, you’re reading it right. But he never caught it. It never caused a problem. It doesn’t do anything. I just happened to notice it spot-checking his code. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/16 "2004-06-24T18:42:26Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Cryptic logic is sometimes funny, too. If you know VB, you’ll get a kick out of the following (paraphrased) that I ran across when reviewing someone’s code: That’s pretty bad. It’s when you add joke logic that you gotta wonder if anyone will notice. I once called a constant BUCKLE\_MY\_SHOE. I’m sure you can guess what code that went with. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/17 "2004-06-24T18:50:35Z")
Not to say that those guys arn’t idiots, and they wern’t stupid mistakes, But… Sometimes that sort of stuff is a bit of a insecure DBA trick. Not many people other then the DBA use the column names everyday. A developer generally just looks up the names while he’s working on that table, then forgets again. Other people (especially contractors) will keep running into errors while writting and debugging because they are not familiar with the nuances, and will be slowed down. But the long time DBA swoops in and saves the day in five minutes, cause he’s used to it. The DBA looks like a hero to the boss, and his value to the company is confirmed. Or at least thats the theory. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/18 "2004-06-24T19:00:51Z")
A lot of this looks like what I’ve seen when a programmer is working at 3 in the morning on a deadline. I keep having to convince my boss that overtime has diminishing returns, and depending on it is a road to disaster. Although, yeah, some people are just idiots. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/19 "2004-06-24T21:22:46Z")
[QUOTE] ```auto Sub MySub [...snip about 200 lines of code...] If I > 10 Then Exit Sub End If End Sub ``` Heh heh…that’s as bad as some of the scripts in FmPro databases I’ve inherited from previous “developers”: ```auto Enter Find Mode [] Set Field [some_local_field, some_value] Enter Browse Mode [] ``` 😕 ```auto Loop Exit Loop If [not IsEmpty (ExternalTableWithOnlyOneFreakingRecord::Fieldname)] Go to Record [Next, Exit After Last] End Loop ``` Yep, still empty once again, let’s take a step and see if it changes… ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024/20 "2004-06-24T22:01:26Z")
So, let me get this straight. People who do stuff like this are actually collecting paychecks for their so-called “programming” while I’m slaving away as an administrative assistant to pay the bills. :sigh!: Help! **Halleluau** , you’ve got my sympathies. I once had to modify a database a Japanese coworker of mine had created. I kidded my employer about having cornered the market on Japanese-speaking computer jocks in my city. He was a great guy, but English is difficult enough to spell for a native speaker! CJ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-can-t-spell-step-away-from-the-database/252024.md?page=2)