# If you can't take critisism, don't go requesting reviews **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2019, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181 "2019-05-19T14:43:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/1 "2019-05-19T14:43:36Z")
So this guy requests a review for his self-published horror novel from an fairly large, but hobbyist, movie and book review site. The reviewer thinks the book is shit, puts this in the nicest terms possible, but the site founder still gives the author the courtesy of sending him an email saying the review is probably not what he hoped for, but “don’t be discouraged, keep writing, people have different likes and dislikes and you don’t have to read the review if you don’t want to”. He goes absolutely ballistic in an essay length email about how they shouldn’t publish the review if it is bad and how he’s a genius and the book is perfect, which the site then publishes in full, since their submission policy includes “If you’re an asshole, we will publish your emails to us”. [This is not a review of Hell’s Shadows](https://www.scifiandscary.com/this-is-not-a-review-of-hells-shadows/) You can “look into” the book on Amazon by the way, and if anything the reviewer was being kind. It’s atrocious in so many ways. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/2 "2019-05-19T15:00:00Z")
I’ve been following this slow-motion trainwreck, but this is the first time I’ve looked at the Look Inside (it wasn’t available on my phone for whatever reason). Holy purple prose, Batman! O.o This guy definitely isn’t doing the vast percentage of respectable self-published authors any favors… ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/3 "2019-05-19T15:11:28Z")
Amazon lists a paperback version available for $899.99. So I’m going to pass. I’m curious. It was published in 2012. Why is the kerfuffle happening now? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/4 "2019-05-19T15:13:59Z")
Not sure, but it looks like the book was submitted to the SciFi and Scary site for a review recently. The Goodreads review was posted in late April of this year. No idea why they waited that long to submit it. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/5 "2019-05-19T15:14:24Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Amazon lists a paperback version available for $899.99. So I’m going to pass. > > I’m curious. It was published in 2012. Why is the kerfuffle happening now? Now is when he decided to start a fight with a review site. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/6 "2019-05-19T15:17:40Z")
Here are the first three sentences of the novel: > [@](#): > > The scene was overpowering. A choking sight of a decomposing house being swallowed by gnarled trees and rampant undergrowth. And that was only one of Gil Turner’s depressing memories of the awful day he and Robin first set eyes upon an old home ravaged by time that, from all accounts as they were to learn, never had any good days. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/7 "2019-05-19T15:27:19Z")
> [@naita](#): > > Here are the first three sentences of the novel: ooooooooooo!, that’s a _long_ walk, and I’m not entirely sure where we’ve ended up. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/8 "2019-05-19T15:34:48Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > This guy definitely isn’t doing the vast percentage of respectable self-published authors any favors… There are GOOD self-published authors? I mean, even I’m not egotistical enough to try. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/9 "2019-05-19T15:38:19Z")
I liked the part where he bragged about how his books (written by Dean KLEIN) were shelved right next to Stephen KING’s books, and thought that indicated that the store’s staff regarded his book very highly. I just read two whole pages of Hell’s Shadows. Holy cow. It may not be the worst prose I’ve ever read, but offhand I can’t recall anything worse. Too bad the paperback is [$900 on Amazon.](https://www.amazon.com/Hells-Shadows-Dean-Klein/dp/1480279102/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_2?crid=3K0NWOV1PE8PU&keywords=hells+shadows+dean+klein&qid=1558279954&s=gateway&sprefix=hells+shadows%2Caps%2C185&sr=8-2-fkmrnull) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/10 "2019-05-19T15:47:50Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > There are GOOD self-published authors? I mean, even I’m not egotistical enough to try. Yes. There are lots of good self-published authors. And there are lots of successful self-published authors. Whether the two intersect is up to each individual reader, but both exist. (I’m a decently successful self-published author - to the point where I do it as a full-time job. I would never presume to tell anyone whether I’m any good, though. Once again, that’s up to the readers.) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/11 "2019-05-19T15:51:11Z")
> [@naita](#): > > Here are the first three sentences of the novel: More: > [@](#): > > Quickly and with great urgency but also incredulous to find himself, out of a clear blue sky, to be abruptly worried for the very life of his wife, Gil lifted Robin from the seat to place her on the ground just beyond the shoulder of the road. That sentence should be taken out and shot… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/12 "2019-05-19T15:55:28Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > That sentence should be taken out and shot… Is the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest still going on? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/13 "2019-05-19T15:58:58Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > I liked the part where he bragged about how his books (written by Dean KLEIN) were shelved right next to Stephen KING’s books, and thought that indicated that the store’s staff regarded his book very highly. All my future plays will be published under my new nom de plume, William Shekespeare. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/14 "2019-05-19T16:00:17Z")
Anyone feel this whole thing might be manufactured to make that book go viral? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/15 "2019-05-19T16:02:01Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Anyone feel this whole thing might be manufactured to make that book go viral? Wouldn’t that only work if the book were available for purchase, though? He pulled it when this whole thing blew up. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/16 "2019-05-19T16:23:28Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Wouldn’t that only work if the book were available for purchase, though? He pulled it when this whole thing blew up. Ah, I missed that part. There goes that theory then, it’s just a crazy person. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/17 "2019-05-19T16:25:30Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Ah, I missed that part. There goes that theory then, it’s just a crazy person. “I minored in English in university with a 4.0 GPA.” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/18 "2019-05-19T17:25:36Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yes. There are lots of good self-published authors. And there are lots of successful self-published authors. Whether the two intersect is up to each individual reader, but both exist. Yes, I was unfair. The recent self-published bestsellers range from _The Martian_🆒 to _Fifth Shades of Gray_ :eek: . > [@](#): > > (I’m a decently successful self-published author - _ **to the point where I do it as a full-time job** _. I would never presume to tell anyone whether I’m any good, though. Once again, that’s up to the readers.) The bolded part points to your quality. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/19 "2019-05-19T18:23:29Z")
I heard about this about a week ago. It’s quite clear the reason why his prose is so bad is his arrogance. He falls in love with his own prose and sees no reason to think about making it better. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2019, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181/20 "2019-05-19T18:34:33Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > I heard about this about a week ago. > > It’s quite clear the reason why his prose is so bad is his arrogance. He falls in love with his own prose and sees no reason to think about making it better. I worked in college as a writing tutor, and most students came to me with passable prose and humility, and it was a delight to work with them to polish and improve their work. But I remember clearly the guy who came to me with something nearly unintelligible–one sentence was something like, “Through the air of the nestled permutations of spring I was to receive harmoniously the meanderings which were birdlike in composition,” only I’m trying really hard to make it as overwrought and stupid as his sentence was and failing. He meant to say, “I heard a bird sing.” But when I told him that his sentences were hard to understand, he sneered and explained to me that it was his poetic style. Nothing I did persuaded him that his writing was awful, and he left in disgust. I wonder if he went on to write horror novels. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-cant-take-critisism-dont-go-requesting-reviews/834181.md?page=2)