# If you come to Florida... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961 "2006-05-16T11:52:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/21 "2006-05-16T18:45:14Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > **tremorviolet** , you hail from G-ville? Yep. (and sometimes when I think about the times we spent down at Lake Alice, goofing around in the woods under the boardwalk, following the gator trails, I wonder how I made it to adulthood…) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/22 "2006-05-16T18:49:49Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > when I think about the times we spent down at Lake Alice… And you were a stoner, too? ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/23 "2006-05-16T18:57:47Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > And you were a stoner, too? Uh, that was high school. No better place to go light up (other than the random old cemetary or the woods between Anglewood and the Pic.N.Save or out by Paynes Prairie or on the banks of Hogtown Creek… 😉 ). When I was in elementary school (preboardwalk), you go right up to the gators and feed 'em marshmallows. But then they evidently decided having toddlers hand feed gators marshmallows might not be all that safe and fenced off the banks. In middle school, we’d ride our bikes down and goof around on the boardwalk and in the woods. We’d also make our way to that little catwalk for 2x6’s that used to stretch across one end, over the marsh (and probably gators too). But this is years before they built the chapel and the bat thingy… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/24 "2006-05-16T19:08:43Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > No, I regret to inform you that I am not a member of the Doody family. \ I just googled for Disney World gator pics. hee hee! Didn’t even notice that. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/25 "2006-05-16T19:15:29Z")
> [@samm](#): > > We’ll be there in less than two weeks! I’m so excited. I’m probably more worried about cockroaches than alligators though. You ought to be informed - the cockroaches are bigger than the gators, and they’re more numerous. And also they fly. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/26 "2006-05-16T19:33:23Z")
> [@samm](#): > > We’ll be there in less than two weeks! I’m so excited. I’m probably more worried about cockroaches than alligators though. You never hear about the tourists killed and eaten by Florida cockroaches though, 'cause they don’t leave _any_ evidence. No blood. No hair. No bones. Nothing. They eat it all. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/27 "2006-05-16T22:29:31Z")
> [@Bumbazine](#): > > You never hear about the tourists killed and eaten by Florida cockroaches though, 'cause they don’t leave _any_ evidence. > No blood. > No hair. > No bones. > Nothing. > They eat it all. > > 😃 'Tis true, 'tis true. This is why I am sooooo glad we live in Northwest Florida. The 'skeeters take care of the cockroaches here; most of the gators, too. Of course, that does present some “difficulties”…but as long as you realize that large, slow, heavy-caliber weapons like the .45 automatic just result in ricochets and arm one’s self with high-speed penetrating rounds like 9mm or .357 (with teflon coating), you should be all right if visiting us. \<\Poodle: The Other White Meat\>\> ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/28 "2006-05-16T22:49:13Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > Former Central Florida resident here - yep, there was a small canal behind our house, and yep, it had at least one gator in it. 3 feet of water is enough for a gator to hide in. > [@](#): > > Most people don’t realize that gators can run pretty fast on land, up to 12 mph. For contrast, an Olympic athelet who has just made a four minute mile is running at 15 mph. > [@](#): > > and can climb a chain-link fence. That I did not know. I’ve heard reliable stories of gators getting past chain link fences, but assumed that they either dug under or simply bit through. > [@](#): > > Gators are not your friend. Oh, I wouldn’t say that. They do tend to tear off your limbs or kill you if they do something stupid though. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/29 "2006-05-16T23:16:22Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] My family and I have canoed Juniper Run many times, the last time being about three weeks ago. Every time we go, we pass by a giant gator sunning himself on the bank. I mean, we are maybe fifteen feet away from this monster, and he never moves, which is fortunate, because if he did I’d shit myself. It’s the big thrill of the trip, though I’ve never understood why the rangers seem so blase’ about him. Two reasons: Alligator attacks are rare. Unless you’re in an area where people feed them or there’s a nest nearby, alligators are generally afraid of humans and won’t bother them. Also, you can become desensitized to anything. On any given day when I’m at work, I can come across a dozen alligators. Because they usually mind their business, they quickly become just a part of the scenary. Hopefully, with all the rain we’re getting today, all the alligators will be pacified and we can all go back to peaceful coexistant. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/30 "2006-05-16T23:55:07Z")
There was a 5-foot alligator in the parking lot of my office about a year or two ago. The police were called, but the officer who showed up said he had a bad back and couldn’t deal with the gator. The office’s mild-mannered maintenance man ended up handling it. I’m pretty sure that gator wrestling wasn’t in his job description, but he did a good job by all accounts. 😃 So, to sum up what everyone else has said, gators can be almost anywhere in Florida. Yep. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/31 "2006-05-17T00:20:03Z")
Okay, here’s what I know about Florida now: alligators everywhere, including my bathtub, probably; mosquitoes and cockroaches as big as the alligators; prone to hurricanes and flooding; and full of residents that like to kill Canadians. Sorry, guys, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing me any time soon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/32 "2006-05-17T00:52:34Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Okay, here’s what I know about Florida now: alligators everywhere, including my bathtub, probably; mosquitoes and cockroaches as big as the alligators; prone to hurricanes and flooding; and full of residents that like to kill Canadians. That’s not true! They prefer Europeans. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/33 "2006-05-17T02:02:04Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Okay, here’s what I know about Florida now: alligators everywhere, including my bathtub, probably; mosquitoes and cockroaches as big as the alligators; prone to hurricanes and flooding; and full of residents that like to kill Canadians. Sorry, guys, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing me any time soon. 😃 I don’t recall any particular animosity towards Canadians. In fact, around here in the winter time, about half of us _are_ Canadians. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/34 "2006-05-17T02:31:55Z")
Heh. Few years back my sister lived in Coral Springs, with – of course – a canal behind the house. And of course a 'gator infringed upon the property. There being 3 kids including a couple toddlers in the home at the time, my BIL decided this was time to become Tha Crock 'Untah on the reptile – which had started retreating into the canal by then anyway, so BIL jumps on the canoe and follows. What the heck he intended to do upon catching up to the saurian we have no idea, fortunately we did not have to find out. Through all this the older child is doing a play-by-play on the phone to his mother at work which is not helping the situation. Couple of years later they’re up in Royal Palm Beach (which ain’t \*&^%$ nowhere near the beach, it’s well inland) at a house whose backyard borders “preserved land” (read: such land as wasn’t even worth draining and filling to sell for development). Older kid is walking the dog in back yard when he suddenly hears the sound of a rattler. Kid AND dog freeze and then execute a brilliant retreat, wherein no pants are soiled. BIL informed, then, of course, he grabs his trusty machete from the garage and goes on Search & Destroy into the bush, again fruitlessly to the relief of everyone involved. My sister is wondering what her next husband will be like, as this is due to catch up with BIL sooner or later… ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/35 "2006-05-17T04:19:44Z")
**Alligator Warning** The **Florida State Department of Fish and Wildlife** is advising hikers, hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in Osceola, Polk, Brevard, Orange, and Hillsborough Counties. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the alligators. They also advice the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator. It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity. People should recognize the difference between small young alligator and large adult alligator droppings. Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers. Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/36 "2006-05-17T04:39:43Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I don’t recall any particular animosity towards Canadians. In fact, around here in the winter time, about half of us _are_ Canadians. There was a rash of Canadian snowbirds shot in Florida a few years ago - in the nineties, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/37 "2006-05-17T08:13:47Z")
If you come to Florida…Don’t mess with the alligators, cockroaches, mosquitoes or Canadians. And please be sure to wear lots and lots of heavy-duty sunscreen because skin cancer is more dangerous than all the above combined. Bullfrog is the best. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/38 "2006-05-17T10:38:02Z")
**LouisB** Excellent advice. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/39 "2006-05-17T12:34:33Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Okay, here’s what I know about Florida now: alligators everywhere, including my bathtub, probably; mosquitoes and cockroaches as big as the alligators; prone to hurricanes and flooding; and full of residents that like to kill Canadians. Sorry, guys, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing me any time soon. 😃 I _told_ you Canada was better! :wally Don’t forget about the heat. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961/40 "2006-05-17T12:35:43Z")
Whoa. That was a totally accidental putz. My apologies! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-come-to-florida/356961.md?page=3)