# If you could be the most arrogant asshole in the world... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2013, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168 "2013-04-08T17:36:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/41 "2013-04-11T17:12:10Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > … > Like say, starting with North Korea. Say it in a fabulous voice with me; “_Total makeover!_” 😃 If you want to be a _real_ asshole, let North Korea make over South Korea however 'Lil Kim likes. Or even better, make 'Lil Kim your Executive VP for World Domination. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/42 "2013-04-11T17:34:12Z")
I’d probably do lots of bad things. Just like a good totalitarian dictator should. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/43 "2013-04-11T19:45:09Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > If you want to be a _real_ asshole, let North Korea make over South Korea however 'Lil Kim likes. > > Or even better, make 'Lil Kim your Executive VP for World Domination. 😛 Nah, I’m thinking a 25 sentence to be Hello KittyLand. The entire nation. Every person. Every building. Every car. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/44 "2013-04-11T20:24:02Z")
There would be an extra driving test you could take to prove you are a great driver, and if you pass you get issued a paint ball gun with permanent paint that you would be allowed to shoot at the cars of bad drivers. Get 10 paint splotches on your car and you lose your license forever and pay a huge fine to support mass transit. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/45 "2013-04-12T01:22:34Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > There would be an extra driving test you could take to prove you are a great driver, and if you pass you get issued a paint ball gun with permanent paint that you would be allowed to shoot at the cars of bad drivers. Get 10 paint splotches on your car and you lose your license forever and pay a huge fine to support mass transit. First part is completely right, the second part shows that you really are not ready for this whole assholish thing, lemme show you the way Get 10 paint splotches on you car and _the police execute you on the side of the road_ Much better way to get your point across 😃 **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/46 "2013-04-12T03:02:22Z")
•I think I’d be more intimidating…by not explicitly spelling out what would displease me, or why, or what the specific penalties would be. Or how it comes to my attention. People would just get calls in the middle of the night or office visits in the middle of the day by me (or my agents), noting that I was _very_ upset with whatever they’d done, and perhaps they’d like to reconsider? Or maybe the agents would just show up and, without a word, smash a couple of the offender’s joints, then leave. This would continue in escalation until the offending behavior was stopped. _If_ the offender was able to figure out what they’d done wrong. (Let’s just say that more than a few comic and television company execs would be left whimpering on the floors, repeatedly. They don’t seem very bright. 😃 ) •I would order the establishment of a climate-change control agency, tasked with preventing destructive climate change via regulation, terraforming science, and human sacrifices to the obviously displeased pagan gods. The [Pyramid of the Sun](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramid_of_the_sun) will, obviously, be reopened for business immediately. •Regions that wished to outlaw abortion would be allowed to decide the matter via referendum, the results of which would be cheerfully enforced…and accompanied by a dioxin spraying campaign. •More alternative conflict arbitration and sentencing…principally via dueling and gladiatorial combat. •Saturday Morning Cartoons are to be brought back, with _no_ sports preemptions. (I made that if-I-ever-take-over-the-world vow when I was 11 years old, and _I’m sticking to it_, by god.) ---
**Author:** ![sidhechaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sidhechaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidhechaos)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/47 "2013-04-13T00:44:58Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Right, for Your Own Good I’d abolish Big Tobacco. (Both of my parents’ deaths were related to their cigarette smoking.) . and all tobacco ceos and stockholders and lobbyists charged for mass murder as serial killers. punishnent to be made blind deaf and mute and spend the rest of their lives trapped in small rooms with the equivelent of a three pack a day habit of second hand smoke in the room at all times except for two days every two weeks (so they can suffer withdrawal) the term COPD is dismissed and death certs once again show the REAL stats of death by cigerette smoke., no air freshener, fans or anything else to help. no medical care when they get cancer, let them rot screaming. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168/48 "2013-04-13T02:00:57Z")
Just to add what I myself might do: I’d be so politically incorrect that I’d make Archie Bunker look like a Berkeley undergraduate. My response to the howling mobs would be machinegun fire. And degradation ceremonies where those who hated and opposed me would have to admit how wrong and evil they were, and humbly beg my forgiveness. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-be-the-most-arrogant-asshole-in-the-world/655168.md?page=2)