# If You Could Change Any Historcial Event, What Would You Change?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 29, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748 "2012-06-29T22:48:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/21 "2012-06-30T18:11:37Z")

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I’d delete the Holocaust from history, I think.

ETA: And frankly, I’m surprised it took 21 posts for it to come up.

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**Author:** ![Horseface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4af34b/32.png) [@Horseface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseface)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/22 "2012-06-30T18:12:04Z")

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I would have ensured a bullet hit and killed Hitler in WWI and not his buddy next to him.

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**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/23 "2012-06-30T18:25:14Z")

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During the invasion of Syracruse Archimedes is spared and not killed by an idiot Roman soldier.

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**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/24 "2012-07-01T11:10:59Z")

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The colonists lose the First American Civil War and the po-faced hypocrite George Washington becomes a bankrupt and is forced to sell his slaves from within prison before his execution for treason.

Benedict Arnold, that great British patriot, would receive the earldom of New York as a reward.

But if that doesn’t help, I’d change it back.

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**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/25 "2012-07-01T11:35:31Z")

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Pitt the elder retains his health, thereby preventing the American revolution, resulting in the freedom of the slaves many decades earlier and without a bloody civil war, and saving us all from endless tedious American exceptionalism.

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**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/26 "2012-07-01T11:40:10Z")

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^  
Yes absolutly the era which gave us rule Britannia would not see the concept of exceptional ism.

On a tangent read 17th and 18th century British history and especially what the contempories say about Britain and its system of Government. It…explains Americans.

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**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/27 "2012-07-01T13:07:58Z")

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Prevent the terrorist attacks of 9/11/01. Not only because it was a terrible tragedy, but because of the aftermath. So many lives and so much money just pissed away in a panic.

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**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/28 "2012-07-01T13:49:15Z")

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Stopped the transalantic slave trade… I suppose Phineas t Bogg and Jeffrey could get the omni out and make that happen…

Without that tragedy it would be interesting to see how the colonies developed… how Europe would have developed. And what would be the current state of the continent of Africa…

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**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/29 "2012-07-01T14:16:51Z")

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Cortez dies on his first voyage out and the Spanish crown swears to leave exploration to other nations.

> [@](#):
>
> Also, no burning of the Library of Alexandria. I want all that stuff back.

Great One!

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**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/30 "2012-07-01T16:17:20Z")

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> [@JohnT](#):
>
> Gavilro Princip - I tackle him as he is taking aim at the Archduke.

It would have just been some other asshole.

[QUOTE=KneadToKnow]  
I’d delete the Holocaust from history, I think.

ETA: And frankly, I’m surprised it took 21 posts for it to come up.  
[/quote]

I think “kill Hitler” and “avoid Holocaust” ought to be more or less assumed in this sort of thing.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/31 "2012-07-01T18:41:01Z")

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> [@KneadToKnow](#):
>
> I’d delete the Holocaust from history, I think.
> 
> ETA: And frankly, I’m surprised it took 21 posts for it to come up.

I figured taking Lenin out of the picture would change the outcome of the Russian Revolution and World War I to the point where Hitler would never take power. So it was a two-fer of removing the Soviets and the Nazis from history.

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**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\
**Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/32 "2012-07-01T21:00:02Z")

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Hmm. I’d look for some event or other that, being prevented, would hose down the hostilities that led to WWI. Something\* before \*the assassination of Ferdinand, for sure.

Not only do I think that’s the only way you’re getting the Holocaust not to happen without substituting a nuclear war or something, but if nobody had won that war with their newfangled technology industrialization from that point onward probably would have been a lot less sudden/hurried and caused less cynicism, materialism, nihilism et cetera to take hold.

Maybe it would be less environmentally damaging, too, but it’s the culture shock of extremely rapid industrialization I’m mostly thinking of.

I think if WWI had to happen then I would switch my ambitions to taking out Lenin or making sure he lived and died in total obscurity or something. Again, it would prevent millions of deaths, but also, I think we’d all be a little more inclined to share and cooperate if the first mention of the word “communism” didn’t send people into a frenzy.

> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#):
>
> Incidentally, its not as if the Aztecs were nice people either…

Nearly every culture in the world has probably practiced decades of sustained human sacrifice at some point (and by George if you ask for a cite I will facepalm through space and time). That doesn’t make them bloodthirsty and cold-blooded.

Hell, what would the Aztecs think of\* Mugabe? Mubarak? The Westboro Baptists?

- Hint: besides strength in battle they valued genuine religious piety, selflessness, women’s health, and respect for the dead.

Huh. Come to think of it, what would I have to do to get the un-Cortez’d Aztecs to attack and colonize post-Civil War America?

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**Author:** ![computergeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@computergeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/computergeek)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/33 "2012-07-02T02:10:17Z")

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Like some others said, I wouldn’t change anything, given the law of unintended consequences. What I would do is observe the historical events that are murky so that we have a better view of what happened.

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/34 "2012-07-02T02:45:34Z")

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No dropping of The Bomb in WWII. Not so much as it was a horrific way to kill 100000+ people, but that the it was “Atomic” something to be feared. We’d have 80% of our power now clean, safe nuclear, and much less Global Warming, not to mention other ecological problems.

The fact that the Eco-nuts can convince the Middle that Nukes are Evil is likely the worst thing to happen to the environment.

Of course, the problem here is that Atomic Bombs might have been used later, such as in Korea.

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/35 "2012-07-02T02:51:33Z")

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> [@JohnT](#):
>
> Gavilro Princip - I tackle him as he is taking aim at the Archduke.

Naw. WWI was inevitable\*. The Great Powers were all salivating at the chance to get into what they thought would be a short clean victorious war.

- Which means WWII was inevitable, given letting the French buttfuck the Germans with the Treaty of Versailles. Hmm, maybe we could have a less sick Wilson actualy forcing the Allies into a reasonable Treaty.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/36 "2012-07-02T03:01:18Z")

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I would have prevented Frederick III of Germany from developing throat cancer. He would have reigned a lot longer than three months, and prevented Wilhelm II from taking the throne so early. Considering the impact Wilhelm had, it would have made a big difference in Europe.  
Likewise, I would also prevent the assassination of Alexander II of Russia. He was just about to sign a constitution, and while it may not have been as enlightened as most people would wish for, Russia would have started the decline of autocracy sooner. Leading to a constitutional monarchy.

And adding to Lenin not coming back into the country, I would have given Kerensky more of a chance to gain control.

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**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/37 "2012-07-02T03:57:50Z")

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Have the _Pinta_ and the _Santa María_ broken up and sunk at about 40ºW longitude by enormous sea serpents. Have some of the sailors taken off the _Niña_ and eaten, while vast numbers of more sea serpents are visible to the west, and let the remainder of the _Niña_’s crew escape back to Europe to spread the word.

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**Author:** ![MrDurden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ed655f/32.png) [@MrDurden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDurden)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/38 "2012-07-02T04:09:30Z")

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Definitely the attacks on 9/11

I feel like we just live in a different world now. And not in a way like most people do being so paranoid, etc… I think the fallout of millions of afraid people, (not to mention war, etc.) has been more harmful than the actual event.

I’d be afraid to change anything too much earlier than that… or really anything before the end of the cold war because I feel like altering things ever so slightly would have provoked a full scale nuclear war.

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**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/39 "2012-07-02T04:27:19Z")

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I’d probably steer clear of anything before the end of the Cold War. Having “only” two cities destroyed by nuclear fire might have been a surprisingly lucky roll of the dice. I’d probably prevent the 9/11 attacks, for same reasons cited by **An Arky**.

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**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-change-any-historcial-event-what-would-you-change/626748/40 "2012-07-02T04:38:20Z")

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I slightly alter our distant ancestors so that like bonobo females, human females are just as prone to gang up and organize as males are. The result should be far greater equality between the genders throughout history.

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