# If you could control the mind of one person . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 2, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210 "2014-07-02T18:28:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/21 "2014-07-03T11:40:26Z")
I figure why not just have some fun. I’d take Dick Cheney and turn him into a swishy drag queen. Have him say “Hey, you wanna know where that “undisclosed location” was that I was always in? It was my wife’s closet, and I was playing dress-up! Oh, and that war that we started? I just wanted to make some money for Halliburton.” ---
**Author:** ![yoyodyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a9a28c/32.png) [@yoyodyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyodyne)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/22 "2014-07-03T13:20:04Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Oh come on, you know what everybody is really thinking… > > Jennifer Lawrence. I wasn’t. I was thinking Scarlett Johansson. But I like your idea better. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/23 "2014-07-03T15:23:42Z")
> [@Fishtar](#): > > Limbaugh would be great fun. Very true. I really like this one. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/24 "2014-07-03T15:29:52Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Chief Justice John Roberts. I was going to say Antonin Scalia, but I see your point. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/25 "2014-07-03T15:50:50Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Or Kim Jong-un. Make him contact South Korea to negotiate an end to the Korean War, and opening of all borders, trade, commercial development, etc. Followed by an address to the UN begging for as much assistance as they can spare, in return for complete disarmament and an open society. You’d probably be able to enjoy your control for about 2 weeks before your puppet meets with an unfortunate accident and the status quo returns. For global politics I’d probably go for Ali Khamenei. Iran is at a tipping point. If Ali Khamenei reversed himself and came out in favor of moderation and secularization, it could easily turn the tide. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > Someone like the Koch Brother(s) I’d also consider this as a possibility, but given that I could only take one I’m not sure what the effect would be. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/26 "2014-07-03T15:56:38Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Or Kim Jong-un. Make him contact South Korea to negotiate an end to the Korean War, and opening of all borders, trade, commercial development, etc. Followed by an address to the UN begging for as much assistance as they can spare, in return for complete disarmament and an open society. > > Regards, > Shodan He’d probably be assassinated in weeks. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mask_behind_the_Mask)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/27 "2014-07-03T17:59:37Z")
Gotta be honest, I was expecting a lot more answers involving sex. You’re all too sophisticated! If it wasn’t for my grudge against evil incarnate, I likely would have yielded to my baser instincts. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m not so sure. The thought that I wouldn’t really be with someone who truly likes me would leave a bad taste in my mouth. (And probably her mouth too.) . . . (I’ll be here all night, folks.) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/28 "2014-07-03T18:21:33Z")
I want to change my answer. I want to take over the mind of George R. R. Martin and make him drop all other projects until he finishes ASoIaF. . . . and send me lots of money. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/29 "2014-07-03T19:18:05Z")
Kim Il-Yung, probably. There’s others that I would enjoy more. It would be fun to control the President of the US, since that’s the closest you can get to controlling the world. But at the end of the day, controlling anyone who isn’t bad is immoral. If I want to be President, I have to get elected. So, of bad people, that I can think of the person/country who is currently harming the largest number of people is North Korea. Though I’d want to review that first, before actually plunging in. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/30 "2014-07-03T21:56:24Z")
Do we also inherit our puppets knowledge and situational awareness? Granted I like the idea of fixing NK from the inside, I mean, controlling a head of state has its perks. However its a big job with lots of pitfalls. You would have to start slowly, little improvements, throw a cookie at the inner circle to keep them happy, another little improvement, Some bazillionaire who wouldnt miss $1M who wants to support my crusade of the day with a generous donation every year. Perhaps whomever is the head honcho for determining funding for a major movie studio. You get to pick what movies get funded, easily score a few “consullting fees” for making sure your control victim fund their movies. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/31 "2014-07-03T22:04:34Z")
Me. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/32 "2014-07-03T22:25:02Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Good choice, but it needs to be Sotomayor. Roberts’ mind doesn’t need changing, and Sotomayor does. > > Or Kim Jong-un. Make him contact South Korea to negotiate an end to the Korean War, and opening of all borders, trade, commercial development, etc. Followed by an address to the UN begging for as much assistance as they can spare, in return for complete disarmament and an open society. > > Regards, > Shodan My first thought on reading the OP was Chief Justice John Roberts. But having read the thread and seeing as someone else got to Roberts first, I’d change it to Shodan so that he couldn’t fuck with Sotomayor, instead he’d be controlling Alito for his choice, and his choice would be my choice. I’d have Shodan use Alito in series to get to Clarance Thomas and then in series get to Anthony Kennedy. I’d leave Scalia alone for amusement value and so no one would wonder why he’d become nice and caring about his fellow human beings. Once again, Shodan is key to control of the world. Regards, The Second Stone No backsies, as I will always wear a Magneto helmet to keep you assholes out of my head. Which isn’t a pleasant place anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/33 "2014-07-05T02:47:22Z")
I would select someone who could both benefit mankind greatly _and_ make me filthy rich, not necessarily in that order. Someone like, say, Bill Gates. Some people like to natter on about mind control being unethical, as if it were really possible to exert mind control. But I say, “Ethics?!? Talk about your First World problems!” ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/34 "2014-07-05T03:39:59Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Oh come on, you know what everybody is really thinking… > > Jennifer Lawrence. Linsey Dawn MacKenzie. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/35 "2014-07-05T13:06:06Z")
I liked the whole “walk til your feet bleed” thing, but I’d point them to a tunnel of either a B, a D, or a 4 train. I guess I’m just impatient. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210/36 "2014-07-05T13:15:32Z")
Stephen Harper, so he’d stop screwing up my country. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-control-the-mind-of-one-person/692210.md?page=1)