# If you could kill any historical figure, who would you kill? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2012, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411 "2012-05-19T12:02:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/1 "2012-05-19T12:02:56Z")
Lets say a time machine was invented, but for some reason or other, it could only send back in time invisible killbots. You can program the kill bots to eliminate any known historical figure, with 100% reliability. It won’t affect this time line, but it will create an unvisitable seperate reality branching from the moment of their death. You can specify a specific date or age to eliminate them… To avoid a flame war and other problems, there are some hardcoded limits to the bots. They \*\*can’t \*\*kill: [ul] [li]Anyone alive today(and don’t try getting around it by bumping off their ancestors)[/li][li]Jesus of Nazareth/Paul of Tarsus[/li][li]Mohammed (The man muslims see as a prophet, not the hundreds of millions of others called Muhammed.)[/li][li]Adolf Hitler[/li][/ul] Explain your reasons for your decision, i.e. is it just cathatic, or do you really think it would make a real difference to the new timeline. ---
**Author:** ![What\_the](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f4b2a3/32.png) [@What\_the](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_the)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/2 "2012-05-19T12:22:08Z")
The person who invented slavery thousands of years ago. I take it back, someone else would have invented it if he hadn’t. I’ll reserve my vote. Suggested addition to the rules… you can’t kill anybody who protected one of the protected people from having been killed. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/3 "2012-05-19T12:29:40Z")
Skynet. See how he/she/it likes it for a change. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/4 "2012-05-19T12:33:23Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > To avoid a flame war and other problems, there are some hardcoded limits to the bots. They \*\*can’t \*\*kill: > [ul] > [li]Anyone alive today(and don’t try getting around it by bumping off their ancestors)[/li][li]Jesus of Nazareth/Paul of Tarsus[/li][li]Mohammed (The man muslims see as a prophet, not the hundreds of millions of others called Muhammed.)[/li][li]Adolf Hitler[/li][/ul] With those limits, the first candidate that comes to mind is Genghis Khan. Eliminate him and hopefully there will be no Mongol Empire and no genocidal slaughters by them. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/5 "2012-05-19T12:37:42Z")
V. l. Lenin. ---
**Author:** ![DearestDane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@DearestDane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DearestDane)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/6 "2012-05-19T12:52:05Z")
Karl X Gustav of Sweden. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/7 "2012-05-19T13:11:02Z")
> [@What\_the](#): > > The person who invented slavery thousands of years ago. I take it back, someone else would have invented it if he hadn’t. I’ll reserve my vote. > Suggested addition to the rules… you can’t kill anybody who protected one of the protected people from having been killed. But slavery was a lot less oppressive in ancient times. Well, perhaps I wouldn’t go that far, but I would prefer to be defeated by a culture that enslaved the vanquished rather than killed by them. Also, certain slaves were well educated and not very oppressed. Who came up with the idea to import slaves to South America, and the idea to treat them like property and work them to death? That person would deserve death. Anyway, as for your suggestion, its a bit broad and I think people already get the spirit of the thread. > [@Simplicio](#): > > Skynet. See how he/she/it likes it for a change. That would just create a timeloop which would make James Cameron into the George Lucas of the Terminator world. Can you really live with that guilt? > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > With those limits, the first candidate that comes to mind is Genghis Khan. Eliminate him and hopefully there will be no Mongol Empire and no genocidal slaughters by them. Good call, the fall of the Song dynasty might have delayed the industrial age by centuries, and Iranian agriculture still hasn’t fully recovered from the scars of the Mongol invasion. > [@Scumpup](#): > > V. l. Lenin. And risk Stalin rising to power even earlier? And risk Trotsky actually succeeding in spreading totalitarian communism across the globe? Please explain your selection. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/8 "2012-05-19T13:30:47Z")
Even though it’s just a game, I have a hard time killing anyone. Maybe I’d off an assassin or something. Sirhan Sirhan? Or go back further in time. If Hilter isn’t an option, how about the Roman Emperor Hadrian? If we can’t kill Jesus, can we kill Judas? Maybe if he hadn’t of been betrayed (if you believe that story), Jesus wouldn’t have gotten so popular post-mortem. I don’t know. Christianity is the worst thing to happen to Judaism. Madonna and her stupid red strings probably gets second place. Thing is, just because you kill someone, doesn’t mean some other a-hole wouldn’t have stepped up to their place. And someone doesn’t have to be an a-hole to cause great harm. Oppenheimer, Einstein, Roosevelt, Truman. What if you could off one of them and prevent the dropping of two atomic bombs? Would you do it? ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/9 "2012-05-19T13:31:45Z")
Although I would prefer to take out Dick Cheney, that’s not allowed under the current rules. So I choose Senator Joe McCarthy. ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/10 "2012-05-19T13:39:18Z")
I’d choose George Washington, basically just to piss off Americans. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/11 "2012-05-19T13:48:58Z")
Nobody. The results are utterly unpredictable, & might make things worse. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/12 "2012-05-19T13:53:27Z")
Hey, just for giggles: The Missing Link 😉 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/13 "2012-05-19T14:11:49Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Good call, the fall of the Song dynasty might have delayed the industrial age by centuries, and Iranian agriculture still hasn’t fully recovered from the scars of the Mongol invasion. > > And risk Stalin rising to power even earlier? And risk Trotsky actually succeeding in spreading totalitarian communism across the globe? Please explain your selection. Neither Stalin nor Trotsky was capable of organizing and leading a revolution on his own. Lenin was the key figure in the October/November overthrow of Kerensky’s Provisional Government and the installation of the Bolsheviks as the ruling party after it was gone. As for Genghis Khan, do you realize how many people today you’d be condemning to nonexistence by whacking him before he got going?!? [http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2010/08/1-in-200-men-direct-descendants-of-genghis-khan/](http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2010/08/1-in-200-men-direct-descendants-of-genghis-khan/) ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/14 "2012-05-19T14:14:56Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > It won’t affect this time line, but it will create an unvisitable seperate reality branching from the moment of their death. So you’re asking me if I’d want to program a robot to go back in time just to kill someone where it won’t affect my life or anyone else that actually exists in my reality, and I won’t get to know how it affects the lives of people in the other timeline? Why bother? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/15 "2012-05-19T15:22:55Z")
Millard Filmore. ---
**Author:** ![Crab\_Rangoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Crab\_Rangoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crab_Rangoon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/16 "2012-05-19T15:29:11Z")
Pol Pot. When he was 5 - I’m guessing that was before he came up with his great ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/17 "2012-05-19T15:34:52Z")
Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany. From what I read in Barbara Tuchman’s excellent _The Guns of August_, he really was single-handedly responsible for launching World War I. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand just gave him an excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/18 "2012-05-19T16:29:01Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > To avoid a flame war and other problems, there are some hardcoded limits to the bots. They \*\*can’t \*\*kill: > [ul] > [li]Anyone alive today(and don’t try getting around it by bumping off their ancestors)[/li][/ul] [ul] [li]So I could kill someone and get away with it because the bot sent back in time will kill him anyway, so I wouldn’t have to have killed the jerk so the bot could kill him/her in the past.[/li][/ul] All that aside, my Grade 5 teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/19 "2012-05-19T16:34:51Z")
> [@Sefton](#): > > Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany. From what I read in Barbara Tuchman’s excellent _The Guns of August_, he really was single-handedly responsible for launching World War I. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand just gave him an excuse. Yeah, I was thinking of him too. The prohibitions are bizarre, though. Anyone alive today(and don’t try getting around it by bumping off their ancestors) So, if Kaiser Bill has living descendants, we can’t pick him? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/20 "2012-05-19T16:35:19Z")
Adolf Hitler’s mother. Before she had him. Just because I like fucking with the rules. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411.md?page=2)