# If you could kill any historical figure, who would you kill? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2012, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411 "2012-05-19T12:02:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/21 "2012-05-19T16:36:18Z")
No one. If it wont’ effect this timeline then there is no point. If it could affect this timeline I still wouldn’t, simply because it could inadvertently lead to me never being born. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/22 "2012-05-19T16:40:35Z")
Archduke Ferdinand ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/23 "2012-05-19T18:58:49Z")
Gavrilo Princep who by murdering Franz Ferdinand set the ball rolling for the evils of the 20th Century. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/24 "2012-05-19T19:05:27Z")
Oliver Cromwell, the Motherfucker. And Nathan Bedford Forrest. > [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Gavrilo Princep who by murdering Franz Ferdinand set the ball rolling for the evils of the 20th Century. If it hadn’t been for the murder of the Archduke, it would have been something else. Europe was most likely going to go to war – that was just the event that started it all. _Dreadnaught_, by Robert Massie is a good book to read. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/25 "2012-05-19T19:28:17Z")
Another vote for Lenin, although Hitler would have been my first choice. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/26 "2012-05-19T19:33:02Z")
I’d pay some Dutchman to set fire to Lord Snowdon. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/27 "2012-05-19T19:38:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Another vote for Lenin, although Hitler would have been my first choice. I think it’d be more interesting to bribe some officials and make sure Hitler got into art school, just to see what would happen. (You could always whack him later, if you still wanted to.) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/28 "2012-05-19T19:38:14Z")
The guy on the grassy knoll. That way, there’s no doubt Oswald acted alone. 😉 What happens when the killbot can’t find the assigned target? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/29 "2012-05-19T19:43:40Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Lets say a time machine was invented, but for some reason or other, it could only send back in time invisible killbots. > > You can program the kill bots to eliminate any known historical figure, with 100% reliability. It won’t affect this time line, but it will create an unvisitable seperate reality branching from the moment of their death. I’ve already done this. Except that I didn’t see a need to make my killbots invisible… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/30 "2012-05-19T21:49:37Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > With those limits, the first candidate that comes to mind is Genghis Khan. Eliminate him and hopefully there will be no Mongol Empire and no genocidal slaughters by them. Doesn’t “Anyone alive today(and don’t try getting around it by bumping off their ancestors)” pretty much mean you can’t kill anyone with living descendants? And given that like what? 1 in 200 people alive today are descended from the Great Khan, doesn’t that eliminate him from consideration? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/31 "2012-05-19T22:40:21Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > The guy on the grassy knoll. That way, there’s no doubt Oswald acted alone. 😉 > > What happens when the killbot can’t find the assigned target? No problem. Mine will be John F Kennedy. In Dallas, ten seconds before Oswald. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/32 "2012-05-19T23:08:24Z")
John Wilkes Booth. If Lincoln lives, Reconstruction goes much quicker and with much less bad blood between north and south, changing the dynamics of politics from then till now. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/33 "2012-05-19T23:11:26Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > And someone doesn’t have to be an a-hole to cause great harm. Oppenheimer, Einstein, Roosevelt, Truman. What if you could off one of them and prevent the dropping of two atomic bombs? Would you do it? Good point, A good person might bring about bad consequences > [@Shakester](#): > > I’d choose George Washington, basically just to piss off Americans. Likewise, an evil person can bring about good consequences. If the American revolution had been won by someone fertile, then we might have ended up with an heridetry absolute monarchy, and the world would lose early modern democracy’s city on the hill. > [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Doesn’t “Anyone alive today(and don’t try getting around it by bumping off their ancestors)” pretty much mean you can’t kill anyone with living descendants? And given that like what? 1 in 200 people alive today are descended from the Great Khan, doesn’t that eliminate him from consideration? Good point… I didn’t think this one through… anyway, please pretend this doesn’t matter, pretend all their OT childerne were illegitimate children of other men. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/34 "2012-05-20T01:41:14Z")
Since Paul is against the rules, I’m going to go with Emperor Constantine. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/35 "2012-05-20T01:43:48Z")
Josef Stalin. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/36 "2012-05-20T02:17:57Z")
Nikola Tesla, shortly after birth. Just to see how much it would set back modern technology. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/37 "2012-05-20T02:50:18Z")
My grandfather. I love paradoxes. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/38 "2012-05-20T02:57:20Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > My grandfather. I love paradoxes. That sounds like something Zaphod would have done, not Ford. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/39 "2012-05-20T03:27:06Z")
Frank Sinatra. I heard he was a dick. Or Bing Crosby, because he beat his kids. Or Bob Hope, to save us all 50 horrible schlocky militarized vaudeville shows. Fuck, lemme take out the Rat Pack. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411/40 "2012-05-20T04:19:58Z")
Ronald Reagan after his last child was born, but before he was governor of California, so it will fit in the rules. He had a horrible influence on American and world politics. What a tool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-kill-any-historical-figure-who-would-you-kill/622411.md?page=3)