# If You Could Make Any Film You Wanted To! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 16, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843 "2008-02-16T01:19:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/1 "2008-02-16T01:19:56Z")
Which prose work that has not been done would you like to see made into a film? What would your choice be, regardless of Hollywood (or even independent film) criteria for adaptability, commercial length or popularity of subject matter? It can be a work of fiction, non-fiction or even in essay form, which I’ve seen. In which venue would it work best? Theatrical release? Indy film houses? Made-for-TV? Masterpiece Theatre? My 2nd choice is [Savage Holiday](http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qsort=&page=1&matches=24&browse=1&qwork=5904834&full=1), by Richard Wright. If careful attention is paid, it has the potential to be a great psychological thriller, in-period (50s) or modernized. Although one of the first books in which Wright tried to tell the story of a [white person](http://books.google.com/books?id=8IH-sVhHmrMC&pg=PA236&lpg=PA236&dq=savage+holiday+richard+wright&source=web&ots=V5kT7_OycE&sig=wNe4_Y7PjNwL4m4JIPwO0WV2-u8#PPA236,M1), when I first happened upon this book in the late nineties, my immediate thought was that it would work well with either a white, black or mixed cast. Any director who would be able to keep a tight focus on the theme\* of an unmoored and ill-satisfied society, as portrayed by the main character, Erskine Fowler, could make this story work either in the period it was written or updated to reflect today’s societal ills. I can’t tell you my first choice, because I’m actually currently developing a screenplay from a hard-to-adapt, but best selling work of fiction. - Instead of the way Patricia Highsmith’s sociological and cultural tale was ruined in [The Talented Mr. Ripley](http://www.randomhouse.com/vintage/screen/books/ripley.html) but the director applying modern notions of homosexuality to the main character living in the 50’s. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/2 "2008-02-16T01:24:10Z")
Probably the long-awaited _Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever_, although I would probably hate the results. I want to see Foamfollower! ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/3 "2008-02-16T02:20:30Z")
I’d love to film Niven’s _Inconstant Moon_. I’d also like to refilm the ending to King’s _The Mist_. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/4 "2008-02-16T02:34:08Z")
[QUOTE=Tenar] Probably the long-awaited _Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever_, although I would probably hate the results. I want to see Foamfollower! [/QUOTE] **Tenar** , I’m not familiar with the work but I’ll look into it. Why, offhand, do you think you would hate the result? Do you think your being in charge of making it could help you come closer to realizing your vision for it? Is there something about the story that you feel couldn’t be translated into film? What approach do you think would come closest to something you would like? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/5 "2008-02-16T02:39:18Z")
I’d kinda like to see Dante’s Inferno as a movie. It would be kind of long, I suppose but that’s what the pause button is for: bathroom breaks. I suppose it would be an art house indie oriented film. With CGI I think one could make a very cool hell. I’m just not sure how I’d want to handle translation. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/6 "2008-02-16T02:51:18Z")
[QUOTE=Inner Stickler] With CGI I think one could make a very cool hell. [/QUOTE] The Ninth Circle would be cool as Hell. Of course, it’ll only be made when Hell freezes over. What? Someone had to say it. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/7 "2008-02-16T02:52:07Z")
[QUOTE=Lightnin’] I’d love to film Niven’s _Inconstant Moon_. I’d also like to refilm the ending to King’s _The Mist_. [/QUOTE] Can you tell me a little bit more about why and your choices for producing it? ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/8 "2008-02-16T02:54:04Z")
I’ve always wanted to see a movie or miniseries about the Marquis de More. > **[Marquis de Morès](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquis_de_Mores)** > > Antoine-Amédée-Marie-Vincent Manca Amat de Vallombrosa, Marquis de Morès et de Montemaggiore (14 June 1858 – 9 June 1896), commonly known as the Marquis de Morès, was a French duelist, frontier ranchman in the Badlands of Dakota Territory during the final years of the American Old West era, a railroad pioneer in Vietnam, and a politician in his native France. > Born Antoine-Amédée-Marie-Vincent Manca Amat de Vallombrosa on 14 June 1858. As the eldest son of the Duke of Vallombrosa, he used the cou... They’d probably have to leave out the anti-Semitic parts from his later life, I suppose, unless they wanted to do a “There Will be Blood” sort of treatment. ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/9 "2008-02-16T03:07:38Z")
Larry Niven’s INCONSTANT MOON was filmed in 1996 as an episode or The Outer Limits. Larry Niven wrote the screenplay. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/10 "2008-02-16T03:08:18Z")
I’ve always loved George R.R. Martin’s _Tuf Voyaging_, a scifi novel about a schlub/antihero space merchant who finds an enormously powerful derelict starship. He then decides to make a living as an ecological engineer, with results that vary from the very funny to the pretty damned scary. Hollywood would probably never touch it, but when I earn my first billion I’m going to get it made, dammit. One of Spielberg’s near-future movies is going to be a biopic of Abraham Lincoln, starring Liam Neeson. I think George Washington deserves similiar treatment - he had a fascinating life, even though we think of him today as little more than a marble statue. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/11 "2008-02-16T03:19:05Z")
The Taking by Dean Koontz. I usually don’t “see” what I read, but with this book, there are large sections that I could. Second choice: War For The Oaks by Emma Bull. It would be interesting to see this important urban fantasy story on the big screen. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/12 "2008-02-16T04:08:04Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] I’ve always loved George R.R. Martin’s _Tuf Voyaging_, a scifi novel about a schlub/antihero space merchant who finds an enormously powerful derelict starship. He then decides to make a living as an ecological engineer, with results that vary from the very funny to the pretty damned scary. Hollywood would probably never touch it, but when I earn my first billion I’m going to get it made, dammit. [/QUOTE] Fantastic choice! An incredibly smart and funny book, with plenty of opportunities for special effects. [QUOTE=Tenar] Probably the long-awaited Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, although I would probably hate the results. I want to see Foamfollower! [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=5-4 Fighting] Tenar, I’m not familiar with the work but I’ll look into it. Why, offhand, do you think you would hate the result? Do you think your being in charge of making it could help you come closer to realizing your vision for it? Is there something about the story that you feel couldn’t be translated into film? What approach do you think would come closest to something you would like? [/QUOTE] Actually, \*The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever \* comes up fairly often around here. (I was about to link to a thread, but, well, even after all these years, I’m not the most skilled poster. Even doing multiple quotes in one post is a challenge for me.) If you search Cafe Society for _Chronicles of Thomas Covenant_, you will see that there was an active thread about the series as recently as yesterday. As far as why I would hate the result, well, Thomas Covenant is a hard guy to love; he is NOT your typical fantasy hero, and it’s difficult to be sure whether his whining, self pitying and temper tantrums would be even less appealing on the big screen. I’m even ambivalent about the source material, but it was once so very meaningful to me that I have never written it off completely. Not to put too fine a point on it, Thomas Covenant is a rapist. I like to compare \*Chronicles of Thomas Covenant \* to \*Chronicles of Narnia \* in this respect: picture someone being swept off to Narnia and, rather than rejoicing in his good fortune and trotting off for tea with Mr. Tumnus, deciding that the whole thing is a hallucination and taking the opportunity to rape Lucy, believing that she isn’t real anyway. Sure, Covenant has his reasons, but anyone trying to translate his story to film would have to either leave the rape in and alienate a fair percentage of the audience, or leave it out, and render huge chunks of the subsequent storyline impossible. I know people nowadays are more used to anti-heroes than once they were (I’m looking at _you_, Tony Soprano), but I still see this as a big problem in the world of fantasy, where we are expecting to see sometimes flawed but unfailingly well-intentioned hobbits, elves, etc. as our protagonists. In fact, Thomas Covenant is one of the few non-villain characters in the Chronicles who is NOT constitutionally noble or heroic. As I say, a hard guy to love. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/13 "2008-02-16T17:32:48Z")
[QUOTE=Lightnin’] I’d love to film Niven’s _Inconstant Moon_. I’d also like to refilm the ending to King’s _The Mist_. [/QUOTE] What appeals to you about this, or what makes it visual or thematic enough for this treatment? Have you thought about target audience, intended venue, etc.? What went wrong with the current ending of \*The Mist/I] for you? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/14 "2008-02-16T19:27:23Z")
HG Wells’ _The War Of The Worlds_. Done **right**! Set in Edwardian England. Period garments. Period music. Period dialect. First class FX. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/15 "2008-02-16T19:34:36Z")
[QUOTE=audit1] Larry Niven’s INCONSTANT MOON was filmed in 1996 as an episode or The Outer Limits. Larry Niven wrote the screenplay. [/QUOTE] Was if any good? What ideas for expansion/improvement did it suggest to you, if you could do either? Did it stray at all from the source material, even though the author wrote the teleplay? [QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] HG Wells’ _The War Of The Worlds_. Done **right**! Set in Edwardian England. Period garments. Period music. Period dialect. First class FX. [/QUOTE] I specifically said those that hadn’t been done, but since I’m in total agreement with you here, **Preach it, brother**! What else would you do differently (besides not casting Tom Cruise)? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/16 "2008-02-16T19:40:40Z")
Andrew Lloyd Webber and Alan Ayckbourn’s “By Jeeves.” Yes, Jeeves has been made into many movies, but never a musical. Starring Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/17 "2008-02-16T19:41:53Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Was if any good? What ideas for expansion/improvement did it suggest to you, if you could do either? I specifically said those that hadn’t been done, but since I’m in total agreement with you here, **Preach it, brother**! What else would you do differently (besides not casting Tom Cruise)? [/QUOTE] All British Isles cast/writers **only**. English, Welsh Scots & Irish. Perhaps a French ferry captain, but that’s the limit. Shot on location, whenever possible. Military consultants, to the uniforms, weapons & drill correct. And the scene with the Vicar in the ruined cellar gets l **eft in** , dammit! I **don’t care** if the little old ladies in Kansas don’t like it! :mad: Although, how we are to rectify Wells’ error, re: the _Thunder Child_, I cannot say. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/18 "2008-02-16T19:50:56Z")
It would have to be a very big budget miniseries (because there’s absolutely no way you could tell the story in film length), but Neal Stephenson’s [Quicksilver](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quicksilver_(novel)) and, if it’s successful, its sequels in [The Baroque Cycle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Baroque_Cycle). Great historical fiction, good science fiction (and it really is science fiction, not sci-fi), and with one of the great enigmatic characters from modern literature, Enoch Root (who I’d cast with Liam Neeson). _Confederacy of Dunces_- though it would have to be a long film or a miniseries to capture everything from the novel. It also has to be filmed on location of course (New Orleans for those not familiar) but as a timepiece (early 1960s). I’d love to cast Dave Chappelle as Burma Jones as he’s got the intelligence and comic timing to run that character to the Oscars. Otherwise, Philip Seymour Hoffman is the only actor who comes to mind for Ignatius, though he may have to be an unknown (he’s morbidly obese and while I wouldn’t mind padding an already fat actor I’d hate to have a _Nutty Professor_/_Hairspray_ latex treatment). Others I’d cast or consider: Angelina Jolie as strip-club owner/porn ring operator Lana Christina Ricci as Iggy’s sorta kinda girlfriend Mona Danny Devito as Angelo Mancuso Rhea Perlman as (Angelo’s aunt) Santa Battaglia ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/19 "2008-02-16T19:55:07Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Andrew Lloyd Webber and Alan Ayckbourn’s “By Jeeves.” Yes, Jeeves has been made into many movies, but never a musical. Starring Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. [/QUOTE] Between, Bertie and Jeeves, well, which would play which? 😉 [QUOTE=Sampiro] _Confederacy of Dunces_- though it would have to be a long film or a miniseries to capture everything from the novel. It also has to be filmed on location of course (New Orleans for those not familiar) but as a timepiece (early 1960s). I’d love to cast Dave Chappelle as Burma Jones as he’s got the intelligence and comic timing to run that character to the Oscars. Otherwise, Philip Seymour Hoffman is the only actor who comes to mind for Ignatius, though he may have to be an unknown (he’s morbidly obese and while I wouldn’t mind padding an already fat actor I’d hate to have a _Nutty Professor_/_Hairspray_ latex treatment). Others I’d cast or consider: Angelina Jolie as strip-club owner/porn ring operator Lana Christina Ricci as Iggy’s sorta kinda girlfriend Mona Danny Devito as Angelo Mancuso Rhea Perlman as (Angelo’s aunt) Santa Battaglia [/QUOTE] Whoa! That’s a damn good idea for a film and good casting (Rhea Perlman, snerk!). Everybody else feel free to include casting/directorial choices also. How about the Vito character from The Sopranos for Ignatius? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843/20 "2008-02-16T20:13:55Z")
Of course I’d also finance [Titanic 2: Jack is Back](http://youtube.com/watch?v=7iOuYkbrx4w&feature=related)- it looks pretty good! 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-any-film-you-wanted-to/437843.md?page=2)