# If you could make the movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 23, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190 "2001-10-23T22:54:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/db5fbb/32.png) [@jabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabe)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/21 "2001-10-25T04:11:28Z")
I would like to make the movie of ‘the Dharma Bums’ starring Brad Pitt as Japhy Rider and Edward Norton as What-ever-Jack-Kerouac-called-himself-in-this-one-I-forget. They would have the same kind of relationship they had in ‘Fight Club,’ with Japhy being everything Jack wished and hoped he could be. peace, JB ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/22 "2001-10-25T12:57:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > **Can’t think of a serious answer, so I’ll suggest _Groo the Wanderer: The Movie._** I can see The Rock playing Groo…doing the eyebrow arch and declaring “Groo is not inept. Groo is very non-inept!” I like it! ---
**Author:** ![Candlemas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a8b319/32.png) [@Candlemas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candlemas)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/23 "2001-10-25T16:50:46Z")
I would make _ **A Confederacy of Dunces** _ starring either John Goodman or a fattened up Philip Seymour Hoffman as Ignatious J. Reilly. Incidentally **Jarbaby** , I always imagined a younger Philip Seymour Hoffman as Bunny in _ **The Secret History** _. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/24 "2001-10-25T17:50:51Z")
Mask 2: The Operation ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/25 "2001-10-25T17:58:41Z")
I’d make a movie about Death of the Endless (from the Vertigo comics) starring Christina Ricci as Death and Daniel Day-Lewis as her brother Dream. Or I’d film Roger Zelazny’s novel Doorways In the Sand. I don’t know who I’d cast as Fred, but it’s such a fun story I’m sure it would make a good movie. ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/26 "2001-10-26T04:23:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kilt-wearin’ man \* > \*\* > Or maybe “Ringworld”. > \*\* I believe such a project is in the works. As for me, I have so many ideas. If it had to be based on a book, I would make \Red Storm Rising\. I keep seeing this image in my head of what it should look and sound like when the bombs hit the airfield in Iceland. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/27 "2001-10-26T05:54:58Z")
Sounds like a lot of people have lots of pet fantasy/sci fi novels they desperately want to see as a movie. Usually live action. Well so do I. I would get Harrison Ford to play Garrett, P.I. in **Sweet Silver Blues**. It’s the first book of a series by Glen Cook and man it is so funny. And I’d especially love the job of choosing a Tinnie. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/28 "2001-10-26T06:06:29Z")
I’d make all of Asimov’s Robot and Empire stories and novels. I’d do it in hundreds of half-hour serials, and get them piggybacked on a major release a few times each month. ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/29 "2001-10-26T06:13:37Z")
The Shadowrun Movie Its such a good genre waiting to happen. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/30 "2001-10-26T12:47:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Heath Doolin \* > \*\*The Shadowrun Movie > > Its such a good genre waiting to happen. \*\* God, have you looked at the original source-books recently? Four words: Did Not Age Well. On the other hand, Matrix-like cyberpunk with fantasy elements would be extremely c00l… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miaowara\_Tomokato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Miaowara\_Tomokato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miaowara_Tomokato)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/31 "2001-10-26T15:00:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fiver \* > \*\*…Or I’d film Roger Zelazny’s novel Doorways In the Sand. I don’t know who I’d cast as Fred, but it’s such a fun story I’m sure it would make a good movie. \*\* Simple. John Cusack is Fred. Darren McGavin is Uncle Albert. I’d make _ **Guards, Guards!** _ with Brendan Fraser as Carrot. But do it soon - he ain’t gettin’ any younger! ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/32 "2001-10-26T16:42:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eternal \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Kilt-wearin’ man \* > > \*\* > > Or maybe “Ringworld”. > > \*\* > > I believe such a project is in the works. > \*\* I keep reading rumors, then a couple of days later the folks the rumors are about (such as James Cameron) say “this is the first I’ve heard of it…” So, if I had the power, I’d say let’s go, hire some folks and film this puppy! ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/33 "2001-10-26T18:52:42Z")
I just thought of a movie I’d _love_ to see made: Harlan Ellison’s adaptation of Isaac Asimov’s **I, Robot.** The script is available in book form from [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) – and with today’s computer effects, it could be done. The hard part would be preventing a director, producer, or film exec muck it up… ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/34 "2001-10-27T01:55:08Z")
The live action “The Simpsons” movie. ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/35 "2001-10-27T03:21:34Z")
Dragons Of Autumn Twilight. Of course it would be followed by Dragons Of Winter Night, and Dragons Of Spring Dawning. Have to check into doing a Dragonlance Legends follow up trilogy as well. Also The Crystal Shard, Streams Of Silver, and The Halfling’s Gem. Might as well go with Azure Bonds, The Wyvern’s Spur, and Song Of The Saurials. Yes, I think there should be more quality Fantasy movies on the marketplace. I have a great deal of fear for the upcoming Forgotten Realms TV series, but LOTR is looking pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![faramir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e19adc/32.png) [@faramir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/faramir)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/36 "2001-10-27T04:05:03Z")
Definitely Stranger in a Strange Land, the novel by Robert A. Heinlein. It’s way overdue for conversion into a major motion picture. I think I would want Darren Aronofsky to direct … I don’t really know enough about any producers or adaptive screenwriters, though. Definitely not Bruckheimer or Spielberg, for the love of God. Any suggestions on who could play Valentine Smith? I’m thinking Jared Leto might be able to pull it off, but there’s probably someone better who I can’t think of. That character would definitely be a monumental undertaking. So would the whole movie, for that matter. It would be spectacular, though, if done correctly. faramir “Die you lizard scum!” -Bill Hicks ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/37 "2001-10-27T07:30:43Z")
Either a version of Metal Gear Solid (the video game) or the long-promised Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Movie. Although now that DNA has passed on, I doubt even more that that movie will ever get made. ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/38 "2001-10-27T07:48:12Z")
I would want to remake all of those great books and stories that have been screwed up by the studios. Such as: The Puppet Masters, Starship Troopers by Heinlein. Nightfall by Asimov. Hi! by Opal. Semi-Tough by Dan Jenkins. Lord of the Rings. oops, they already are. Millineum by John Varley. The Running Man by Stephen King. Enemy Mine by Barry Longyear. Best Little Whorehouse in Texas by Larry King. etc, etc, etc. I also second the nomination of Stranger in a Strange Land. And would like to add The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. ---
**Author:** ![okielady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/fbc32d/32.png) [@okielady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okielady)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/39 "2001-10-27T08:11:54Z")
A sequel to The Breakfast Club. Only I’m not sure if it should be what happens at school the following Monday, or where they ended up 20 years later. I know, it’s not very profound, but I’ve always been curious. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190/40 "2001-10-27T15:45:41Z")
I’ve always thought that I would like to do a version of **The Stand** that’s cut down to about 3 hours instead of the 6+ TV miniseries. I would want its target to be the movie theaters instead of the restrictive disruptive television format. What was the budget for Titanic? Double it for me and I could put out a hell of a movie. Another idea that’s been kicking around in my head lately; wouldn’t a movie of **Half-Life** (the computer game) be really really cool? I’d almost rather go for that than The Stand. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-the-movie/89190.md?page=3)