# If you could make yourself invisible, what's first on your list? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341 "2007-03-17T16:02:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/1 "2007-03-17T16:02:44Z")
Just a short time ago, I hijacked [Movie Trailer That’s Cracking Me Up](http://208.100.26.199/sdmb/showthread.php?t=412383) long enough to tell **The Lovely Margo Lane** how excited I was to see that Username here. I explained how the old radio drama _The Shadow_ was such a big part of my entertainment week in my childhood and how at that age I thought how cool it would be to be able to become invisible. After seeing what the movies did to that concept in all the Invisible Man features and even one stupid serial where they had to shine a floodlight on the guy to make him “invisible” (you can’t imagine how stupid it was!), I guess I just let that fantasy dribble away and never gave it that much more thought. But today, if you could make yourself invisible (not necessarily permanently – although that could be fun to think about, too) what use would you put that ability to? I’d sneak into movies! (Just joking) But I do suspect I’d do something like that: go places where I wouldn’t have to pay. How about you? ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/2 "2007-03-17T16:11:34Z")
I thought the title said “who’s first on your list” Which has some unpleasent implications about either you or me. I’d use it to steal large bundles of cash from Banks. Seriously. Maybe get a job with a Blackops special forces type group. Mercenary for hire. That’d be cool. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/3 "2007-03-17T16:15:03Z")
[QUOTE=essell] I thought the title said “who’s first on your list” Which has some unpleasent implications about either you or me. [/QUOTE] Let’s assume it’s I with the unpleasant implications. What then? Who’s first? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/4 "2007-03-17T17:12:23Z")
Have you read _Memoirs of an Invisible Man_? I’d do everything the IM does in that book. Don’t waste your time with the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/5 "2007-03-17T17:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=LouisB] Have you read _Memoirs of an Invisible Man_? I’d do everything the IM does in that book. Don’t waste your time with the movie. [/QUOTE] No on the book – movie either. Chevy Chase maybe? Can anybody else remember the stupid serial I must have seen in the early 50’s or thereabouts? As best I can recall the bad guy who became invisible put on some kind of cloak or suit and then his buddies would shine this big light on him and he’d go invisible. One of the most ridiculous scenes had him going up a fire escape on the front of a building while his gang was in a truck across the street. We see this searchlight looking thing going up the side of the building and then the guy goes _inside the building_ through a window or something, and the fucking light follows him down the hallway and into an office! We kids didn’t worry about the physics, but how could the producers keep a straight face with shenanigans like that? I’m tempted to try to track this serial down on IMDB… ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/6 "2007-03-17T18:11:52Z")
Tho I’d _want_ to use it for personal enrichment, I’d most likely be found in a women’s locker room somewhere. I have no doubt I would NOT use it for any respectable purposes. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/7 "2007-03-17T18:59:21Z")
I plead the Fifth… ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/8 "2007-03-17T19:00:20Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] I plead the Fifth… [/QUOTE] No, no! This surely can’t mean you’re… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/9 "2007-03-17T20:24:02Z")
I would pretend to be a poltergeist in the White House. The sky’s the limit with that one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lovely\_Margo\_Lane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@The\_Lovely\_Margo\_Lane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lovely_Margo_Lane)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/10 "2007-03-17T20:34:11Z")
Well, mostly I’d just try to screw with Lamont’s head, that smug bastard… Seriously, like **Autolycus** , I’d be pulling shenanigans all over the place, hopefully where children can see. I’d also sneak into museums and rare book libraries to look at all of the goodies with no one else around- I’d be good, though, no touching! (unless the oils from my fingers have been rendered inert as well as invisible, in which case [Schongauer, here I come!](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.join2day.com/abc/S/schongauer/schongauer12.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.abcgallery.com/S/schongauer/schongauer12.html&h=689&w=514&sz=45&hl=en&start=13&tbnid=IcJTeSdVDO9aAM:&tbnh=139&tbnw=104&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtemptation%2Bof%2BSt%2BAnthony%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26hs%3Dtxz%26sa%3DN) I think I’d also like to draw pictures on walls or other large surfaces, maybe make sand sculptures with lots of people watching- imagine how cool that would be to watch! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/11 "2007-03-17T20:51:23Z")
One of the things that’s always bugged me about Invisible Man movies is when they’re (he’s) out making tracks in the snow. Wouldn’t that be just a tad too cold to be bopping about in the raw? Anybody see the Ed Begley, Jr. Invisible Man thing? ---
**Author:** ![Andrew\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/da6949/32.png) [@Andrew\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andrew_Bird)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/12 "2007-03-17T21:27:59Z")
I know I would not fuck Wonder Woman. I hear that can be hell on your anus. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/13 "2007-03-17T21:30:55Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] No, no! This surely can’t mean you’re… [/QUOTE] No, no…it just means that I’m pretty sure sneaking invisibly around locker rooms is illegal… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/14 "2007-03-17T22:26:01Z")
Well, being the unnoticed naked grand marshal of a big parade might be cool. Tripping infielders who play against my favorite baseball team would be big fun. “Hey, your shoe’s untied.” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/15 "2007-03-18T00:31:29Z")
1. I would push over all the mimes when they’re doing the invisable wall act. What can be better than that? 2. I would bitch slap Rossie O’Donald when she starts one of her arguments with sane people, because I can and she needs it. 3. I would explore off limit sites, in neat buildings in any country I liked. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/16 "2007-03-18T00:45:51Z")
Sneak up to Bush, and then various other politicians, and do all sorts of interesting things. I’m torn between embarrassing him by doing something that makes him react violently or oddly during a speech ( repeatedly flicking him with my fingers here and there, for example ), or screwing with his head. Whispering into his ear “You have failed your God” or “_THEY_ are coming for you . . .” in as creepy a voice as I can manage, say. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/17 "2007-03-18T01:01:55Z")
I’d be able to take out the trash without feeling like everyone’s watching to judge me for it. (Yes, it’s neurotic.) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/18 "2007-03-18T01:34:50Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Sneak up to Bush, and then various other politicians, and do all sorts of interesting things. I’m torn between embarrassing him by doing something that makes him react violently or oddly during a speech ( repeatedly flicking him with my fingers here and there, for example ), or screwing with his head. Whispering into his ear “You have failed your God” or “_THEY_ are coming for you . . .” in as creepy a voice as I can manage, say. [/QUOTE] To make Bush act oddly during a speech, read his lines for him. It will be the first time he doesn’t embarass himeself on national television. Slap his hands down if he starts making the horned hand sign again. The Europian visit when he did that, was an embarassment for the entire country. [Horned Hand Sign.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corna) ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/19 "2007-03-18T01:46:30Z")
Much like [Strong Bad](http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail41.html), I’d probably do what I usually do. Except while doing it, I’d probably trick people into thinking things were haunted. It’s the Checkout Counter Ghost! And the Nintendo Ghost! etc. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341/20 "2007-03-18T02:38:28Z")
I would do things that would not reflect well on my character or my integrity, I’m afraid. I would spy on my husband–then again, I already sort of know what he’s up to, so maybe not. I would spy on my coworkers and some of my former friends–just once, no stalking. I would go to museums after hours, especially art museums, to really see the pictures w/o the crowds. But I think I would need to be able to fly as well… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-make-yourself-invisible-whats-first-on-your-list/396341.md?page=2)