# If you could perform one song perfectly in front of an audience ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 8, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075 "2010-09-08T17:32:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/21 "2010-09-09T00:17:43Z")
O Holy Night. I would hit that high note and there wouldn’t be an unshivered spine in the joint. Michael Crawford would phone with his congratulations on my taking over as the bestest rendering of OHN ever. Accompanying myself on piano, of course. Strange, since I can neither play nor sing anything. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/22 "2010-09-09T00:46:49Z")
Miserlou, aka the fast guitar track from Pulp Fiction. ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/23 "2010-09-09T00:54:13Z")
It depends where I was: outside of Australia, [A Change Is Gonna Come](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48K5Y0421Ig). In Australia, [You’re The Voice](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oawfn73Va6M). ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/24 "2010-09-09T01:35:05Z")
“Piece of My Heart” by Janis Joplin I’ve always wanted one of those gruff gravelly rock voices, like Janis or Melissa Etheridge. Instead, I got Snow White. :rolleyes: > [@salinqmind](#): > > O Holy Night. I would hit that high note and there wouldn’t be an unshivered spine in the joint. I \*did \*get the chance to do that one, as a solo, in high school. Beat a choir of 250 in an audition for the opportunity to sing it at the Winter Concert for an audience of 700+. It was as awesome as you imagine. (And yes, I hit the high note perfectly!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kim\_o\_the\_Concrete\_Jungle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ee7513/32.png) [@Kim\_o\_the\_Concrete\_Jungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kim_o_the_Concrete_Jungle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/25 "2010-09-09T02:15:55Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Piece of My Heart” by Janis Joplin Heh. That song is on my band’s setlist, so I do get to perform it (or at least, the guitar part). I haven’t yet managed to nail it 100%, though. ☹ But one day… ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/26 "2010-09-09T02:16:12Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Piece of My Heart” by Janis Joplin > > I’ve always wanted one of those gruff gravelly rock voices, like Janis or Melissa Etheridge. Instead, I got Snow White. :rolleyes: > > > [@salinqmind](#): > > > > O Holy Night. I would hit that high note and there wouldn’t be an unshivered spine in the joint. > > I \*did \*get the chance to do that one, as a solo, in high school. Beat a choir of 250 in an audition for the opportunity to sing it at the Winter Concert for an audience of 700+. It was as awesome as you imagine. (And yes, I hit the high note perfectly!) 😃 😃 Good for you! ---
**Author:** ![Kim\_o\_the\_Concrete\_Jungle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ee7513/32.png) [@Kim\_o\_the\_Concrete\_Jungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kim_o_the_Concrete_Jungle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/27 "2010-09-09T02:17:20Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > Miserlou, aka the fast guitar track from Pulp Fiction. Oooh. I get RSI just thinking about it. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MentalGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MentalGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MentalGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/28 "2010-09-09T02:55:49Z")
“Industrial Disease” by the Dire Straits assuming I would be allowed to have other musicians to play the instruments I did not steal from Mark Knopfler. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/29 "2010-09-09T03:08:23Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > O Holy Night. I would hit that high note and there wouldn’t be an unshivered spine in the joint. Michael Crawford would phone with his congratulations on my taking over as the bestest rendering of OHN ever. > Accompanying myself on piano, of course. > > Strange, since I can neither play nor sing anything. The exact song that came to my mind! Except I wouldn’t be accompanying myself on piano…instead, there’d be a small orchestra behind me (organ, strings, woodwinds) and a choir to provide harmonies at key moments. They’d be in robes, I’d be in a suit, with eyes towards the ceiling, and the hall very dark. The mind works in mysterious ways. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/30 "2010-09-09T04:06:43Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > The Queen of the Night aria from _Magic Flute_. Dammit, beaten. My rendition would be like, better than yours and stuff! :mad:😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/31 "2010-09-09T04:41:21Z")
“Since I Fell For You” ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/32 "2010-09-09T05:13:16Z")
Whammer Jammer or Juke. I play harmonica a bit and those are classics. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/33 "2010-09-09T05:33:20Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > John Cage’s [4’33’’](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4_33) > > No, really. > > From the OP: > > > [@Lakai](#): > > > > There is an audience of 100,000+ people waiting for you who are all die hard fans of whatever song you happen to chose. > > A hundred thousand people who are keyed up to tune into the music that stems from an absence of instruments. Not the incidental pauses between pieces but focused silence and attention to sound that inescapably escapes into the room. Not a smattering of folks who read the wiki article and have to put up with otherwise bored folks making noise or conversing nonetheless, but a hundred thousand folks who are die hard fans of the concept. A hundred thousand _participants_. Being at the epicenter of that would be mind-blowing. How could you tell the difference? “Oooh, I’m going to listen the shit out of this ambiance/natural music!” vs _cough cough_ “hmm, this doing anything for you girls I’m trying to fuck?” What exactly would be mind blowing about that? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/34 "2010-09-09T05:33:54Z")
Schubert’s _Ave Maria_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/35 "2010-09-09T05:36:56Z")
“O Holy Night.” It’s not often that it’s sung by a Basso. Followed by a raucous rendition of “Proud Mary.” ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/36 "2010-09-09T07:36:19Z")
Either \*Debaser \*or \*Velouria \*by the Pixies or _God Damn The Sun_ or _Jane Mary_ by Swans. If I had to pick one, it’d be Debaser. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/37 "2010-09-09T10:06:51Z")
For me, it had to be a Van Morrison song, either “Caravan” or “Listen To The Lion”. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/38 "2010-09-09T12:34:13Z")
Given the parameters set forth in the OP, 4’33" is a pretty awesome response. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/39 "2010-09-09T12:42:55Z")
Wow, I can think of a thousand songs I’ve fantasized about doing perfectly before but choosing just one is tough… raucous or sentimental, Zeppelin or Clapton or Young? I’ll go with Young, _Old Man_. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075/40 "2010-09-09T12:53:35Z")
“Don’t Stop Believing”. There wouldn’t be an ass remaining in a seat at the end. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-perform-one-song-perfectly-in-front-of-an-audience/553075.md?page=3)