# If you could rename any band, what would be a better name? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 7, 2017, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167 "2017-10-07T04:29:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/41 "2017-10-09T13:34:11Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > Wasn’t there a band a few years back called “!!!” or something? Just three exclamation points: “!!!” Pronounced as “chick chick chick.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/42 "2017-10-09T13:39:20Z")
> [@Covfefe](#): > > I had always had the impression Pearl Jam was at least partially basketball related because they originally called themselves Mookie Blaylock, and jam is another word for slam dunk. It makes me think of an early basketball video game where the ball appeared smaller and silver for a second if you timed the release of your shot right, though I’m thinking of a game released in '93 or '94, I have no knowledge if earlier games had such a feature. You’re thinking of “NBA Jam.” Also, other than the basketball connection, there is also the musical sense of the word “jam,” which is basically a group of musicians improvising together (as in a “jam session,” which, come to think of it, can have a rather gross meaning if one were to have a dirty mind. See? Pretty much anything can be made sexual.) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/43 "2017-10-09T14:11:05Z")
_The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo_ doesn’t really sound much better shortened to_Oingo Boingo_.One of my all time favorites and I’m loathe to mention them because I sound like an idiot saying their name. I wish I had musical talent so I could form and band and call it _Grace Foster and the Milkman._ ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/44 "2017-10-09T16:45:38Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > What about “The Eagles of Death Metal”? The name is some inside joke I’ve heard several variations of (the most usual is that a friend described another band’s music as sounding like, well, that), and of course, how hilarious, they don’t actually sound at all like the Eagles and they don’t play Death Metal. They do bluegrass garage rock. Isn’t that the funniest thing ever? /s > > Jesus Christ, this “_I’m too cool to care about our name making sense_” attitude literally offends me. They should have gone for something like, I don’t know, “Hugues, Homme and the Bad News Band”. I came here to mention that and the douchey hipster pretentiousness of Broken Social Scene. Also those awesome purveyors of “What’s Up”-itis: Four Non-Blondes. > [@Don\_Draper](#): > > “? and the Mysterian” always struck me as a supremely dumb name. I’ll second _and_ third that. I used to replace Pearl Jam with Squirrel Jam, Milton Berle Jam, or Pearl Jim. And You Will Know Us By the Trail of the Dead should be And You Will Know Us By Buy Our Snail Trail. Showaddywaddy - just, nope. Enuff Z’Nuff I used to call Enough, Already! Archers of Loaf - Anne Archer Pinching a Loaf I used to call Pop Will Eat Itself Pop Will Shit Its Fucking Pants Puddle of Mudd - too many possibilities, here Live simply became Die Kajagoogoo…kaja-goof-goof Porno For Pyros I used to call Porno For Pirates, or - Oh, Right, That Shitty Perry Ferrel Band. Some local band names (from the 90s) that bothered me…Wrought: Ironsmile, republiccoffeefreedomfighters, Daddy’s Hands, Hoofrarump, Out of Nowhere, Mustard Punt, Spiral Getty - too many more, and all with not-too-flattering replacement names. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/45 "2017-10-09T16:53:48Z")
**Led Zeppelin** to _ **Jimmy Page and his Hired Hands** _. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/46 "2017-10-09T16:57:08Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > **The Guess Who** sounds like a name chosen for an Abbott & Costello routine: > > “Hey, Guess Who’s playing tonight.” > “Umm, I dunno. Seals & Croft?” > “No, Guess Who.” > “Geez, why don’t you just tell me – Badfinger?” > “No, Guess Who.” > “I don’t like these games. Is it the Bay City Rollers?” > “I already told you. Guess Who.” > “No, you didn’t! Who is it? Steely Dan?” > “Nope. Why do you keep mentioning random band names?” > “AAARRRGGH!!!” The name “The Guess Who” was an accident. The band’s name was “Chad Allan & The Expressions”, but their label put “Guess Who?” on their first hit single as a publicity stunt. DJs would introduce the song as by “Guess Who?” and by the time the label revealed the real name of the group it was too late - they were “The Guess Who”. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/47 "2017-10-09T17:48:43Z")
For a while, the comic strip “Funky Winkerbean” had references to a band called Diamond Jelly, and in “Zits”, Jeremy’s favorite band was (is?) Gingivitis, obviously an Anthrax sendup. 😛 Shortly after 9/11, I saw Scott Ian on either MTV or VH-1, which still played music, talking about his band and how they got their name, and no, it had nothing to do with terrorism. In short, they were in their late teens and found out about this deadly disease called Anthrax, and since most people at that time didn’t know what the word meant, chose it for their band. There used to be a band in my area called Odlid! (the exclamation point is part of the band’s name). At the time, some Wal-Marts were not selling a Goo Goo Dolls CD because someone thought the blackberry jelly on the baby’s face looked like dried blood; however, they had no problem selling Odlid! CDs. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Made\_in\_Macau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@Made\_in\_Macau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Made_in_Macau)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/48 "2017-10-09T17:55:17Z")
Duran Duran Duran MiM ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/49 "2017-10-09T19:29:36Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > [The The](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_The), Matt Johnson’s band, had an unfortunate name, especially for today (though he couldn’t foresee that): it’s ungoogleable. I propose “The Definite Articles” instead. When they came onto the scene, I thought it was the perfect name. the distilled essence of all those Dada-esque band names. It’s like, how much more distilled could the band’s name be? And the answer is none. None more. The Band was, alternately, the height of pretension. Like there is only one Band, and these are They. It’s like says you are the only band that matters. Yeah, right. Go away, wankers. PS how do you pronounce it? Does one or both get the long-ee sound? The Thee? Thee The? Thee Thee? ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/50 "2017-10-09T20:01:06Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > When they came onto the scene, I thought it was the perfect name. the distilled essence of all those Dada-esque band names. It’s like, how much more distilled could the band’s name be? And the answer is none. None more. > > The Band was, alternately, the height of pretension. Like there is only one Band, and these are They. It’s like says you are the only band that matters. Yeah, right. Go away, wankers. > > PS how do you pronounce it? Does one or both get the long-ee sound? The Thee? Thee The? Thee Thee? Really, I’ve always thought myself that it’s a clever name, but unfortunate in a marketing sense, which surely didn’t matter much to Matt Johnson, but maybe to his label(s). By the way, I’ve always pronounced it “The The”, without a long vocal. ETA: regarding the Band’s early carreer as a hard-working touring band, I think it was just the other way round, in the sense that “The Band” was the answer to somebody in some juke-joint asking “Who are those gruff guys over there?” “That’s just the band”. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/51 "2017-10-09T20:19:44Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > It was[The Who, The Band and Yes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdqv5xIsFLM) > > Animaniacs was pure genius sometimes. I recall a similar bit being used in the 70s on a TV show called _“Eight is Enough”_ using the same bands ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/52 "2017-10-10T00:02:30Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > …The Band was, alternately, the height of pretension. Like there is only one Band, and these are They. It’s like says you are the only band that matters. Yeah, right. Go away, wankers. This is a completely inaccurate take, despite Robbie Robertson’s being by no means a shrinking violet. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/53 "2017-10-10T01:05:15Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > They really aren’t above smutty jokes at all. The name I suggested, the one from their album “versus”, comes from the refrain Vedder sings in the intro to Animal\* “one, two, three, four, five… against one”\*, which is, itself, a masturbation joke. Dude, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/54 "2017-10-10T02:32:30Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > When they came onto the scene, I thought it was the perfect name. the distilled essence of all those Dada-esque band names. It’s like, how much more distilled could the band’s name be? And the answer is none. None more. > > The Band was, alternately, the height of pretension. Like there is only one Band, and these are They. It’s like says you are the only band that matters. Yeah, right. Go away, wankers. > > PS how do you pronounce it? Does one or both get the long-ee sound? The Thee? Thee The? Thee Thee? How about “Cream”? Like “We are the cream of the rock musicians”. Just STFU Eric! ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/55 "2017-10-10T02:56:33Z")
> [@Mangosteen](#): > > How about “Cream”? Like “We are the cream of the rock musicians”. Just STFU Eric! How about the Beatles always claiming to be the Beatles of rock? ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/56 "2017-10-10T05:13:24Z")
I think a better name for the Beatles would be The Lucas Jackson 4. . ---
**Author:** ![Badger96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Badger96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badger96)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/57 "2017-10-10T07:21:07Z")
Coming back to throw Chumbawumba and Jack Off Jill into the mix. ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2017, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/58 "2017-10-10T14:11:19Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > I recall a similar bit being used in the 70s on a TV show called _“Eight is Enough”_ using the same bands I saw similar with the Second City TV (SCTV) show. It used some combination of Guess Who, Who, Yes, and maybe the Band. ---
**Author:** ![Lorne\_Armstrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@Lorne\_Armstrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorne_Armstrong)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2017, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/59 "2017-10-11T11:12:18Z")
“Emerson, Lake & Palmer” ended up a good name for a band with three virtuoso musicians. However, when Lake bowed out and Robert Berry joined, calling the band “3” was just silly. “Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman, Howe” just sounded pretentious, as did their lone studio album. “Yes featuring Jon Anderson, Trevor Rabin, and Rick Wakemen” are vastly superior to the current official Yes, but the name doesn’t work. I preferred them calling themselves “ARW.” Or better yet, just call themselves Yes, as the Steve Howe-led version have turned to crap. ---
**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2017, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167/60 "2017-10-11T13:41:06Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > [Already taken](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0WvXpyufT8)… I knew I recognised that name: [Wikipedia Four Jacks and a Jill](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Jacks_and_a_Jill) “Four Jacks and a Jill also get a brief mention in the cult ‘rockumentary’ film This Is Spinal Tap, when Spinal Tap arrive to do a gig at a U.S. Air Force base. The base commander, Lt. Bob Hookstratten (Fred Willard) asks Tap if they’ve ever heard of Four Jacks and a Jill, and then suggests to them that if they are ever in Kansas City and want to hear some good music, then visit the Ramada Inn where the band were supposed to be resident.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-rename-any-band-what-would-be-a-better-name/798167.md?page=4)