# If you could shove your head up your ass how far could you go **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2016, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189 "2016-02-05T01:30:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/21 "2016-02-05T03:56:53Z")
This is an excellent question. Based on the great variety of things I have shoved up my ass, I can tell you that if your physique permitted that kind of contortion, you could insert your own head about 2 mm into your ass before your body would say “fuck this shit, you can’t put your head into your own personal ass.” Please let me know if I can be of assistance in any further questions along these lines. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/22 "2016-02-05T05:39:15Z")
If I were to stick my head up my ass, I’d go all the way, look out at the world through my nostrils. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/23 "2016-02-05T07:39:19Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > This is an excellent question. Based on the great variety of things I have shoved up my ass, I can tell you that if your physique permitted that kind of contortion, you could insert your own head about 2 mm into your ass before your body would say “fuck this shit, you can’t put your head into your own personal ass.” Please let me know if I can be of assistance in any further questions along these lines. For this precise reason, I have always found it preferable to shove _someone else’s head_ up _someone else’s ass_. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/24 "2016-02-05T08:29:56Z")
I am sure that we all value the subjective narratives that various people bring to this conversation, but the fact remains that the amount of human head that can be inserted into a human ass is constrained by certain physical limitations, governed by the elasticity as well as the flexibility of both the arse and skull in question. In conclusion I pray you will permit this whatever to be inserted up the whatever of the thing. Not just for my own consideration but for the insertion of all humanity in this minor seventh of what we collectively regard to be this human existence of ours. Cheers and godspeed. ---
**Author:** ![Anarcho\_Liberalist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Anarcho\_Liberalist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anarcho_Liberalist)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/25 "2016-02-05T10:18:41Z")
I have no idea how far you’d get, but I’m pretty sure you’d have to wear a diaper for the rest of your life ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/26 "2016-02-05T10:29:14Z")
I don’t think you’d make it past Clapham Junction. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/27 "2016-02-05T10:53:26Z")
A friend\* of mine has been attempting this very feat for the last couple of months, bless his heart. \*after I mistook the unemployed, snaggle toothed, prison tattooed girlfriend for a right nose tackle, he didn’t consider me as much of a friend. Hey, it was an honest mistake. Also, he doesn’t much care for pointing out his wife might not be happy when she sees their pics on Facebook. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/28 "2016-02-05T14:15:39Z")
I’m surprised at no answer yet. The correct answer is 16.24789 inches. Or 41.2696406 cm if you prefer. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/29 "2016-02-05T17:36:08Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Was that a mod vs mod ninja’ing? Just like people simul-post, we sometimes simul-mod. Except in this case, the last move wins, not the first one. > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I got $5 on **samclem**. Technically I did get the thread into IMHO for at least a few seconds. Is that long enough for me to weasel out of owing you a fiver? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/30 "2016-02-05T18:02:27Z")
Consider it weased. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/31 "2016-02-05T18:40:11Z")
How far? Some have taken it to positions of national prominence. Folklore has it that a few have made it even farther. I don’t rightly know if that’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/32 "2016-02-05T19:40:55Z")
I seem to recall this measurement is one of those words that the English language lacks, but can be found in other languages. After doing some digging, it appears that the standard unit of measure for this is the _shkreli_. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/33 "2016-02-07T07:02:54Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > I’m not sure I understand. My body is ALREADY preventing from shoving my head up my ass. If I hypothetically COULD shove it up my own ass, then hypothetically I could shove my whole body up my ass until I disappeared into a singularity… > [@Ignotus](#): > > If the rubber is infinitely ductile, I could nest myself inside myself in infinitely many layers. Indeed, this is exactly what would happen. I’d form a [naked singularity](https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn12707-is-a-naked-singularity-lurking-in-our-galaxy/) with an exposed [hairy black hole](http://arxiv.org/pdf/1406.7153.pdf)\*. My [del] ass[/del] mass would be huge and with stuff continuing to come out of it, the experience would be quite cathartic. \*PDF ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/34 "2016-02-07T09:59:11Z")
Does the butt cleft count in the depth measurements? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/35 "2016-02-07T13:51:38Z")
If you try this, be very cautious of the clinch. Spoilered for, well, I’m not certain, but there’s bound to be someone who takes offense. [spoiler]Why all the dead pigs? What to do, what to do? [Vulture Sticks it's Head up a Pig's Ass - YouTube](https://youtu.be/XaKSnKuYn60) You’re never so lonely as when your bros have all flow the coop and you’re down there on the ground with your head is stuck up a dead pig’s ass: [VULTURES HEAD STUCK IN DEAD PIGS... WELL YOU KNOW - YouTube](https://youtu.be/bqaU02sbXck) [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/36 "2016-02-08T20:13:55Z")
Not sure, but I doubt too far since its full of poop all the time! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/37 "2016-02-08T20:55:43Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > Technically I did get the thread into IMHO for at least a few seconds. Is that long enough for me to weasel out of owing you a fiver? Weasels shoved up asses is a whole different thread. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/38 "2016-02-08T22:32:52Z")
I’d like to shove my head so far up my ass that it becomes my head again. I’d be a walking, talking Klein bottle. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189/39 "2016-02-08T22:52:05Z")
While it’s true (at least that’s what they tell me at the sex toy shop) that some people can fit extremely large objects up their ass, they’re still nowhere near as big as a human head. Being as babies, with rather smaller heads than mine, will quite often tear open their mother’s vagina and perineum as they exit, and further being that rectums and anuses are not as flexible as a vagina, I’m going to go with…you can’t shove your head up your ass. Or someone else’s head up someone else’s ass. Not without doing significant trauma to, probably, both of them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-shove-your-head-up-your-ass-how-far-could-you-go/745189.md?page=1)