# If you could snap your fingers and render one species globally extinct, would you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 13, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633 "2007-07-13T12:32:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/21 "2007-07-13T14:23:29Z")
The disease thing makes it too easy. I propose a slightly different question: if you could snap your fingers and transform all members of one species into wiener dogs, would you? If so, which species? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/22 "2007-07-13T14:27:58Z")
I’m going to stick with cockroaches, just to be able to see run down buildings explode with wiener dogs when I snap my fingers. Malaria would be good for this too, cuz I’d get to see mosquitos flying in mid air explode sending wiener dogs flying everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/23 "2007-07-13T14:29:48Z")
[QUOTE=hotflungwok] Malaria would be good for this too, cuz I’d get to see mosquitos flying in mid air explode sending wiener dogs flying everywhere. [/QUOTE] This is the fate to which you would doom millions of malaria sufferers? :eek: Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/24 "2007-07-13T14:31:05Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] The disease thing makes it too easy. I propose a slightly different question: if you could snap your fingers and transform all members of one species into wiener dogs, would you? If so, which species? Daniel [/QUOTE] [Eyebrow mites](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demodex_mite), just for the hell of it. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/25 "2007-07-13T14:31:20Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] This is the fate to which you would doom millions of malaria sufferers? :eek: Daniel [/QUOTE] It’s the hospitals I would feel sorry for. They’d all have to become pet stores. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/26 "2007-07-13T14:33:30Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] The disease thing makes it too easy. I propose a slightly different question: if you could snap your fingers and transform all members of one species into wiener dogs, would you? If so, which species? Daniel [/QUOTE] In that case, I’d choose the pit bull (I know it isn’t a species unto itself), just to make all the rappers, NBA players and trailer park dog fight organizers look stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/27 "2007-07-13T14:36:23Z")
Are politicians technically a seperate species? If we took the time to classify them as such I would weiner dog politicians. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/28 "2007-07-13T14:40:01Z")
If we’re talking diseases, I’d like to put smallpox up for eradication. Yes, I know it’s been done once. But there are still samples in storage, plus rumors of ‘weaponized’ versions of it in various national labs. If I could convert all examples of the virus into weiner dogs I’d do it. Not least of the reasons, of course, would be to watch and see where there were huge explosions of weiner dogs - to mark those national labs I’d mentioned above. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/29 "2007-07-13T14:44:51Z")
What, no crows or pigeons or seagulls yet. Flying rodents. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/30 "2007-07-13T14:46:40Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Yes, I know it’s been done once. But there are still samples in storage, plus rumors of ‘weaponized’ versions of it in various national labs. If I could convert all examples of the virus into weiner dogs I’d do it. [/QUOTE] But then you end up with weaponized weiner dogs on the loose. I think I saw a horror movie about that once. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/31 "2007-07-13T14:52:25Z")
Yes, I’m sure it would be a public problem, but… I have this image of the researchers\* working on their various **evil** gene splicing techniques in their lab. Then, there’s a sudden rumble, and the doors to the storage freezer burst open, and thousands, nay millions, of weaponized weinerdogs come running out and fire lasers from their eyes at all those researchers… The poetic justice factor just seems too appealing for me to give it up. \*Yes, I know this is a highly exaggerated and unjust view of the majority of people working on bioweapon research. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/32 "2007-07-13T14:54:44Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] \*Yes, I know this is a highly exaggerated and unjust view of the majority of people working on bioweapon research. [/QUOTE] What really upset me about that post was that you disguised the hyperbole about the scientists with a scientifically accurate description of weaponized weiner dogs. Oh, and band name. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/33 "2007-07-13T14:58:36Z")
[QUOTE=mks57] The bug that causes malaria. [/QUOTE] I was going to say the anopheles mosquito, having had malaria \*twice \*and almost dying the first time. We can do without \*one \*species, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/34 "2007-07-13T14:59:37Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] What, no crows or pigeons or seagulls yet. Flying rodents. [/QUOTE] Crows are very intelligent birds and I don’t think they deserve to be in with those flying rats. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/35 "2007-07-13T15:09:58Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Crows are very intelligent birds and I don’t think they deserve to be in with those flying rats. [/QUOTE] Yep. They are. Except they get into my garbage every Tuesday morning! I’m buying new garbage cans this weekend. The lids blew away on my last ones. (Damned crows!) ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/36 "2007-07-13T15:10:09Z")
Pandas. Pandas, pandas, pandas. Giant bloody Pandas. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/37 "2007-07-13T15:10:50Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] What really upset me about that post was that you disguised the hyperbole about the scientists with a scientifically accurate description of weaponized weiner dogs. Oh, and band name. Daniel [/QUOTE] I gotcher weaponized weiner right here, dawg. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/38 "2007-07-13T15:15:13Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] I gotcher weaponized weiner right here, dawg. [/QUOTE] Yay! I was wondering where Fluffy had gotten off to! Be careful, though–just because he’s tiny doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a hair-trigger. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/39 "2007-07-13T15:39:50Z")
'skeeters. I don’t much care what place they occupy in the grand cycle that is nature, they kill people and birds (which I don’t much care for anyway, but I don’t want bugs infecting them) with their diseases and such. And they make me itch. For this alone they must die. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633/40 "2007-07-13T15:46:53Z")
Sorry humans, good bye. Hopefully in the afterlife I’d get to see what happens to the Earth after the humans leave. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-snap-your-fingers-and-render-one-species-globally-extinct-would-you/411633.md?page=3)