“Computer, I want to see The Fall”
UNKNOWN EVENT
“The Fall of Man! Garden of Eden.”
NO SUCH LOCATION
“Fine. Take me to the Ark during the Great Deluge.”
INVALID INPUT
“I wanna at least see Moses split the Red Sea.”
FILE NOT FOUND
I’d never have the patience to get to other non-historic biblical events, but your time-travel machine makes for one hell of a mythbuster.
Pearl Harbor would be a good one. I’d be sitting somewhere on shore with a good vantage point.
I might be in the audience of Ford’s Thetare in April 1865, but I’d be too tempted to try and stop the assassination. Pearl Harbor I would know there’s no way I could get the government to pay attention to me and so just sit back and watch.
Well, I’m torn between two events.
11/22/1963. Put the bullshit about the shooter on the grassy knoll to rest once and for all.
10/26/1881. Watch the buildup to the famous gunfight at the O. K. Corral. Video it and settle the question about who shot first.
The KT impact event. From a safe distance.
Kowloon walled city.
I’m not sure if it was a true event, but the talk that happened between the Pope and Genghis Khan.
And of course a translator.
Because if Age of Empires 2 is somewhat correct, that made Genghis stop his invasion to europe and go back to Asia.
Anytime between 1984 and 1998. Those yeArs because I was an adult. I would use my day just to spend it with my Grandfather. I miss him very much and there are so many things I never got to ask him about his life. Plus I would have another chance to tell him I loved him and let him know how much he meant to me. He was the finest man I have ever known. It is a shame I didn’t realize it until after he was gone.
“That’s one small step for a man, one giant HOLY MUTHAFALUTIN BEJEEZUS…”
Seriously? I wasn’t expecting “crucifixion is a bitch” to be something controversial. Do you doubt the painfulness of iron maidens as well?
“Space Police! You’re under arrest!”
I’d doubt the use of iron maidens, they appear to have been pretty much invented during the 1800-1900s, when collecting ‘medieval torture devices’ became fashionable, and people forged more and more dramatic fakes to cash in on it.
Crucufixion unfortunately was not invented later though, and I’ll agree, it sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant way to spend a weekend.
As for where I’d go; I dunno- with the language issue, and the fact I’d really rather go do something fun than watch any battle, I’d probably go for something quite recent. Maybe a day of Woodstock, or the first Glastonbury festival- see if the hype I’ve always heard as a grandchild of the 60s really was deserved. That or dinosaur spottin’, if I could work that in.
A nice tour of the Great Library at Alexandria would be nifty.
Day one of the formation of the Straight Dope. It would be nice to have a single digit member number. 
Failing that, to attend the inaugural meeting of the Solvay Conference in 1911.
Battle of the Little Bighorn.
I’d pick the Resurrection as well. Though to satisfy the skeptics, I’d put it thusly:
Since we get to observe the events at a given site for one day, I’d like to begin my observation at the tomb Jesus was buried in at sunset, local time, on the day after the crucifixion, and watch the events at the site over the following 24 hours. With night vision goggles along to observe the overnight part.
Too bad we can only observe, under this hypothetical. Would be kinda cool to have a “No Trespassing - $50,000,000 Fine” sign awaiting Armstrong as he steps down the ladder.
It might be interesting to watch the audience at the first ever performance of Swan Lake. Especially the death scene just so I could watch the music yank their heartstrings damn near out of their chest.
I’d say having your back laid open by scourging, then being *hung up by your wrists to slowly suffocate has a lot of opportunity for suffering–unless going into shock beforehand numbs you to the pain.
*Hmmm. . . I was tempted to say “hanged,” since it is an execution, but a cursory glance at my M-W indicates that that past tense is only for hanging by the neck.
That reminds me that defenestration is death from someone else putting you out a window; throwing yourself out a window is self-defenestration. Nutty.
NO sniper rifle, it violates the rules. Although, if you were going to try to make angel-piercing ammunition, the dope would be where I’d start.
So your pick is to go see the defenestration of Prague ?