# If you could turn back time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773 "2009-04-20T20:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/21 "2009-04-21T09:16:20Z")
> [@not\_alice](#): > > And when you come to (no pun intended) and realize that if you got HIV the way you described, you will be pretty much the first person ever to have gotten it that way confirmed, you will wish you never posted in this thread šŸ™‚ There is absolutely nothing else in my life that I would take back - something that I would actually prevent myself from doing. So this is the choice even if Iā€™m negative, because the worry enough has not been worth it. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/22 "2009-04-21T09:41:42Z")
Many years ago when I was still a student, I was at my local cornershop and heard a woman being beaten up and shouted to outside. When I went out, she was there but he had gone, it was her partner and they were both messed up on drugs. I tried to convince her to come back to my flat to organise her a place in a shelter or something, but she wouldnā€™t come. Iā€™d like to go back and try again, as itā€™s something that still makes me sad to this day. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/23 "2009-04-21T09:57:57Z")
WRT the women I spent 9 years with: I wouldnā€™t have avoided the relationship entirely, but I would make sure one of the early break-ups STAYED that way. In light of the fact she now self-identifies as a lesbian, and she never told me about this tendency, I feel that spending nine years with her helping to raise her bi-polar child maybe wasnā€™t the best allocation of my time and resources. I had the wrong equipment for that relationship. This revelation went a long way in explaining why she ignored me the better part of our last year, though it does little to explain her previous enthusiasm. I still love her and wish her happiness, but she hid something from me that was important, never gave us a chance to talk about it or work it out, and basically wasted almost a decade of my youth. You could argue she did the same to herself, but she did it with more info than I had. Dear Og, the women I passed up in the interest of doing the right thing for that relationship. None like them have been along since. I havenā€™t dated in years, and with my recent health issues, I worry that Iā€™ve missed my brief window of opportunity for a lasting, happy relationship. Still hope I helped her boy. I did more for him than his father ever did. I did more for him than my father ever did for me. After we broke up, a picture of his became a minor internet meme, though thankfully a relatively tame one. I never saw anyone get real hateful with it, which I thought was unusually nice for the internet. Nevertheless, I hope he and his mother remained ignorant of that fact. That relationship kinda sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer. Almost 10 years of Jerry Springer ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/24 "2009-04-21T12:54:13Z")
Iā€™d go back to October 15, 1991 and stay awake all the way from DC to Greensboro. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/25 "2009-04-21T13:03:57Z")
As an aside, I am now holding your responsible for that damn song being in my head! :mad: šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/26 "2009-04-21T13:09:26Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > As an aside, I am now holding your responsible for that damn song being in my head! :mad: > šŸ™‚ After a few hours it turns quite catchy šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/27 "2009-04-21T13:12:20Z")
Had you asked me this five years ago, I probably would have said that I would have told my cousin ā€œno thanksā€ when he offered me that first cigarette when I was 12. But, I am now happily married and a father to the cutest little girl ever ( trying to un-depress this thread a little!). I first talked to my wife during a smoke break at the pizza joint I worked at in college. Had I not been a smoker, I wouldnā€™t have been in a position to chat her up - and probably wouldnā€™t have gone after a smoker anyway. We both quit smoking after our honeymoon (almost 1.5 yrs ago), so I donā€™t regret smoking at all. I guess the only thing I could change with a single decision happened when I was 16. There was 7 of us sitting around a campfire drinking. One guy decided that he wanted a Big Mac, so we all got into a car and drove to McDonalds. We got picked up on the way back and everyone got tickets. Later, I found out that if I had told everyone else to go ahead - Iā€™d just hang out by the fire (which is what I really wanted to do) at least 3 others would have stayed with me. The trip probably never would have happened had I spoke up. Granted, the consequences were pretty mild compared to some, but thatā€™s the only thing I could change with a singe decision. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/28 "2009-04-21T14:27:07Z")
I would have run away from home after I graduated from high school. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/29 "2009-04-21T14:35:14Z")
I would not have taken that job, even though the money was good. I was laid off 6 weeks later, and while itā€™s all turned out OK (I found another job and was only out of work for 3 months, and Iā€™m moving to an even better position in three weeks), it was still a monumental mistake. If Iā€™d stayed, I might have been promoted and Iā€™d be working with lots of good friends. Of course, that job was at a large insurance company that had some mortgage-backed securities, so theyā€™re gearing up for a round of layoffs soon. And now would be a much worse time to be out of work in my industry. So staying might not have turned out all right, either. And Iā€™m making much more right now. Maybe it wasnā€™t such a bad mistake, after all! ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/30 "2009-04-21T20:04:05Z")
I would have taken my mom up on it when she said, ā€œYou know, you donā€™t have to do this,ā€ the night before my first wedding. Alternately, three years later, I would have stayed in Colorado instead of moving back to Illinois. Then-husband was already back here and probably wouldnā€™t have come back to get me. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/31 "2009-04-21T20:07:31Z")
September 6, 2005. Iā€™d have locked my damn computer before going into that meeting. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/32 "2009-04-21T20:15:08Z")
Iā€™d go back to about age 22, look up my high school sweetheart and tell him how much I missed him and loved him. I still do, but heā€™s happily married now so it would be wrong to contact him. Whether or not he would be happier with me (or wouldā€™ve laughed in my face . . .) I donā€™t know, but I wish he had made his choice with all the information at hand. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/33 "2009-04-21T20:20:25Z")
I would go back to 2nd grade and declined to participate in whatever I was doing that ended with me chipping my front tooth. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/34 "2009-04-21T21:01:48Z")
Iā€™d have tried to meet Mr. Neville when I first heard about him in 1994. We were both at the University of Maryland then, but we didnā€™t meet via email until 1997 or in person until I was looking at grad schools in 1998. I think itā€™s likely I would have gotten into a long-term long-distance relationship with him and saved myself the misery that was my dating life (or mostly lack thereof) in college. Or I might have gone to a different grad school in 1998. The one I went to didnā€™t work out so well. If Iā€™d gone someplace else, I might have gotten my PhD in astronomy. Going to grad school at all was probably a mistake, but I donā€™t think anything could have convinced me of that at that time. I doubt Iā€™d even have listened to a future version of myself telling me I was making a mistake, I was so determined to go to grad school because the prospect of the Real World scared the poo out of me. Or I might go back to when I was considering two jobs in 2001, and take the one that was closer to what I wanted to do instead of the one that paid better. Or I might go back to 2002 and have a small private ceremony instead of planning a big fancy family wedding. I donā€™t like being the center of attention and didnā€™t really enjoy the big wedding. I did it because I felt I was expected to, but now Iā€™m pretty sure nobody would have been really upset with us for not having one. And then Iā€™d have some more money and fewer nightmares- I still sometimes have the one where I have to go through another wedding, and Iā€™m very relieved to wake up from it. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/35 "2009-04-22T02:10:51Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > September 6, 2005. > > Iā€™d have locked my damn computer before going into that meeting. The world, or at least the SDMB, would be a sadder place if you had. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/36 "2009-04-22T02:18:29Z")
I would take the job with the Sydney Olympics in 2000 instead of the longer term job I ended up taking. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/37 "2009-04-22T03:21:51Z")
I would have applied to the grad schools I actually _wanted_ to go to, rather than the one I did. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/38 "2009-04-22T04:24:10Z")
I know it breaks the rules, but Iā€™ve bribed the genie to allow it: I would never have smoked a cigarette. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/39 "2009-04-22T06:56:39Z")
May 1st 2004. That was the day I had the accident at work that fucked up my back resulting in my being retired on medical grounds. I would not have gone into work that day ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Quack\_s\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f0a364/32.png) [@Duck\_Quack\_s\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Quack_s_Echo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773/40 "2009-04-22T09:35:32Z")
Recriminations and regrets are the time between asking where I came from and refusing to tell where I was going. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-could-turn-back-time/493773.md?page=3)