# If you don't know that \_\_\_\_, then we can't be together. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260 "2012-04-28T19:19:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/1 "2012-04-28T19:19:24Z")
If you don’t know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to load the dishwasher, then we can’t be together. Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean. Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean. This is not an opinion, this is not me being “domineering”, or “a control freak”. Them’s just the facts. If you don’t know that burping and farting in my presence is not sexually appealing, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know/can’t tolerate that I enjoy spending time in leisure activities that include BOTH hiking/camping, and playing computer games, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know that the money I earn must go first to pay bills, then afterwards can buy frivolous things, then we can’t be together. I like this style of pointing out a partner’s faults…it makes me feel so … justified. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/2 "2012-04-28T19:22:11Z")
If you don’t know that you need to have proper and correct grammar and spelling, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know that I need my alone time, and it has nothing to do with you, personally, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know that I will not tolerate being insulted and called names by someone that claims to love me, then we can’t be together. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/3 "2012-04-28T19:24:04Z")
> [@echo6160](#): > > **Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean. > Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean.** > This is not an opinion, this is not me being “domineering”, or “a control freak”. Them’s just the facts. We can’t be together. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/4 "2012-04-28T19:40:02Z")
If you don’t understand that laundry does not pick itself up and fling itself into the washing machine, without human intervention, then we can’t be together. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/5 "2012-04-28T19:41:38Z")
You sound like a barrel of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/6 "2012-04-28T19:42:08Z")
> [@echo6160](#): > > If you don’t know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to load the dishwasher, then we can’t be together. > > Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean. > Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean. If you ever _expect_ me to load a dishwater, we can’t be together. If you ever nag me about any housework whatsoever, we can’t be together. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/7 "2012-04-28T19:55:44Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > If you ever _expect_ me to load a dishwater, we can’t be together. If you ever nag me about any housework whatsoever, we can’t be together. _high five_ ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/8 "2012-04-28T20:14:00Z")
If you don’t know that I am not actually interested in your stories about cosmetology and the intricacies therein, and that I am only listening to be polite and supportive, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know why I lost attraction to you when you gained 45 pounds and your crotch began to stink, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know that I’m unable to hear you with my headphones on, and you keep talking anyway, and blame me for not listening, then we can’t be together. If you don’t know that it’s not OK with me for you to spend more time with your male friends than you do with me, then we can’t be together. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/9 "2012-04-28T20:17:20Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > You sound like a barrel of fun. Har har! I like to think that I am an incredibly fun person. I’m immature on a moments notice, but I don’t let that get me into trouble, or hold me back from dealing with “grown ups”. If you don’t know that things which are unfortunate for someone else are the basis of all humour, then we can’t be together. Similarly, if you don’t know that Monty Python is (mostly) funny, and that this is an objective statement as opposed to an opinion, then we can’t be together. Funny how what you “know” and what you “don’t know” shape your reality by giving you a different perspective…regardless of what facts may exist. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/10 "2012-04-28T20:18:35Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > If you don’t understand that laundry does not pick itself up and fling itself into the washing machine, without human intervention, then we can’t be together. Hah! If you don’t know that the word “slob” has a definition, and that I could replace the word “slob” with your name in the dictionary and have it still be true, then we can’t be together. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/11 "2012-04-28T20:29:32Z")
If you don’t know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to dispose of body, then we can’t be together. Right way - after a cycle, the corpse is gone. Wrong way - after a cycle, the corpse is still in the trunk. This is not an opinion, this is not me being “domineering”, or “a control freak”. Them’s just the facts. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/12 "2012-04-28T20:44:14Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > If you don’t know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to dispose of body, then we can’t be together. > > Right way - after a cycle, the corpse is gone. > Wrong way - after a cycle, the corpse is still in the trunk. Add to that: no fingerprints or DNA left at the crime scene. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/13 "2012-04-28T20:47:08Z")
> [@echo6160](#): > > Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean. > Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean. > This is not an opinion, this is not me being “domineering”, or “a control freak”. Them’s just the facts. I’ve read this several times and I still can’t understand it. Why are the dishes sometimes clean after a “cycle” and sometimes not clean after a “cycle.” And is a cycle the entire process? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/14 "2012-04-28T20:55:13Z")
> [@echo6160](#): > > Har har! I like to think that I am an incredibly fun person. I like to think I have a foot-long dick and can levitate objects with my mind. It sure is fun to think stuff! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/15 "2012-04-28T20:58:02Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > _high five_ I think you two would make a perfect couple… ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/16 "2012-04-28T21:10:18Z")
> [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](#): > > I’ve read this several times and I still can’t understand it. > > Why are the dishes sometimes clean after a “cycle” and sometimes not clean after a “cycle.” And is a cycle the entire process? If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160’s Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp. Clearer? ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/17 "2012-04-28T21:14:03Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I like to think I have a foot-long dick and can levitate objects with my mind. It sure is fun to think stuff! I always thought that about you too! What a coincidence! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/18 "2012-04-29T00:15:35Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160’s Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp. > Clearer? The problem is not that the dishes are dirty afterwards, it’s the stubborn attitude that accompanies the “I’m always right, and what I do is good enough, and if it’s not good enough then I’ll ignore it” train of thought. The dishwasher is just one common household chore that illustrates the point. Clearer? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/19 "2012-04-29T00:22:56Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160’s Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp. > Clearer? Yes, thank you. I was also completely lost. So, OP, if I unload the dishwasher and there is a bowl that needs another washing: FAIL! (and dumped) Correct? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/20 "2012-04-29T00:42:41Z")
If you ever use the phrase “Let’s agree to disagree”, you and I best have nothing to do with each other. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260.md?page=2)