# If you don't know that \_\_\_\_, then we can't be together. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260 "2012-04-28T19:19:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/61 "2012-04-29T21:00:38Z")
> [@florez](#): > > If either one of us, have the luxury of an automatic dishwasher, > yet feel the need to control how the other one loads it, then we can’t be together. > If you are domineering, and anal enough to find ways > to force me to abide by your rules-concerning the petty details in life- then we can’t be together. > If you expect me to never fart, burp, and to be sexually appealing to you all the live long day, > then we can’t be together; and you need to move in with a blow up doll. If you post entirely in free-verse with ragged right edges and no respect for scansion, meter, or meanings being interrupted by forced line- breaks, we likely shouldn’t read each others’ posts. ---
**Author:** ![Craz3d117](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c4cdca/32.png) [@Craz3d117](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craz3d117)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/62 "2012-04-29T22:53:03Z")
I can see what the OP is saying. If a boyfriend or girlfriend is calling you a control freak at the slightest sign of criticism, especially criticism of something that effects something that is yours, well, that’s not going to end well for anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/63 "2012-04-29T22:57:00Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160’s Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp. > Clearer? Thanks, Inner Stickler. I re-read the op, and the first line is what threw me off because in the dozen or so times I did my re-reading, I kept ignoring it. My fault. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/64 "2012-04-29T22:58:39Z")
About the dishwasher thing; I totally understand. I think she does it on purpose because she knows how frustrated I get when I open the dishwasher and a goddamn spatula is hanging from the top shelf, totally blocking the spinner. I don’t even want her to load the dishwasher anymore, because my patience is so worn out about it that I’ll probably lose my temper for the first time ever in this ten year relationship if I see _one more fucking hanging spatula_. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/65 "2012-04-29T23:07:09Z")
I’m glad I’m single , thanks guys. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/66 "2012-04-29T23:29:16Z")
I think the responses so far are great. It really shows just which members bother to read with a goal to comprehension, and which members read with a goal to satisfying their pre-conceived conclusions. Duh - the relationship ain’t great. Duh - the dishwasher thing is a symptom of larger issues. Duh - overreacting to this, or anything I mentioned, is a bad sign. Duh - making broad sweeping statements about people based off of such little information as can be gleaned from a poorly read internet post is an unwise way of relating to other people. **This entire thread is my very own catharsis. Thank you for being a part of it.** 🙂 If you don’t like being part of my catharsis, or if you don’t understand it and therefor must belittle it, well hey now…we probably shouldn’t be together. It’s mundane to most of you, pointless to all of us, but I still felt I wanted to share. And so here it goes! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/67 "2012-04-29T23:45:58Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I’m glad I’m single , thanks guys. You and your filthy, filthy dishes are welcome. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/68 "2012-04-30T00:07:12Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > So I take it we won’t be hearing about you and the “Cancer Man’s” upcoming nuptules anytime soon ? 🙂 Huh? Who is cancer man? As for you “billfish”, you meant “your” and the Cancer Man’s (whoever that is) upcoming “nuptials”. I certainly won’t be marrying you because of your use of “you” when you meant “your”. I can let the spelling thing go. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/69 "2012-04-30T00:24:52Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Huh? Who is cancer man? > > . One of the bad guys in the X-files. He definitely smoked, likely voted Repub, and while never explicitily said “Gotcha”, I am sure he thought it often. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/70 "2012-04-30T01:38:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Duh - making broad sweeping statements about people based off of such little information as can be gleaned from a poorly read internet post is an unwise way of relating to other people. Poor buthurt boy, thread not turn out the way you wished? No one admiring you for your wit and wisdom? Poor, poor you. Hey, isn’t it time for you to clean a toilet or something? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/71 "2012-04-30T04:26:03Z")
Thanks for reminding me - I spend the whole weekend playing, and now I have to go clean my toilets. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/72 "2012-04-30T06:41:45Z")
> [@echo6160](#): > > HAHAHA! I love the immediate self-defense. Having a gas problem? > > Yeah, we all fart and burp. But you gotta admit…it’s not exactly a turn on. Usually it’s a turn off. Especially when it resembles a tuba. And so someone _being mad_ because the sexual feelings may have left the room when the foul smelling ass-gas entered is pretty childish. My girlfriend loves my farts, thinks they’re hilarious. I’ll never forget the time I lured her into some downstairs intimacy only to nail her right in the forehead. Where was Ackbar when you needed him? I’m tellin’ ya. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/73 "2012-04-30T13:54:38Z")
You know, there’s a _real_ simple solution to her not loading the dishwasher the way you want her to. Load it yourself. You can either do the job yourself, and have control over how it is done, or delegate the job _and_ the control over how it is done to someone else. _There are no other choices._ You don’t get to tell other adults how to do a job unless you’re paying them. Would you rather do the work of loading the dishwasher and control how it’s done, or would you rather have her do it and control how it is done? Those are the only available choices, take your pick. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/74 "2012-04-30T13:59:28Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Those are the only available choices, take your pick. Well, there is a third option. Let her load it but HE checks it before it is ran. If she only does a few “stupid” things that he can fix quickly and easily its a win win. Of course thats only gonna work if she doesnt get pissy about his checking and he just checks and fixes and doesn’t bitch at her because the spatula is in the wrong place. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/75 "2012-04-30T14:29:08Z")
In my house, I’m the dishwasher. I outsource the hardest work to Scotchbrite&Dawn, LLC… but I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty. Granted, I’m not a big fan of “you missed a spot”\* micromanagement, but I’m lucky that its a larger sink and it can fit two people in front. And that I can afford a second Scotch-brite. _hands sponge_ “Like they say in Missouri, ‘Show me’…” 😃 \*Hey, you call out “you missed a spot” while I’m painting, you better be well out of splatter range… ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/76 "2012-04-30T16:25:29Z")
With housework, the wife and I try to divide the responsibilities fairly, but I pulled the typical man trick of fucking everything up like a 9 year old retarted monkey so that she’ll just do it herself to save aggravation. You single guys need to learn this. Anyways, I do wash dishes however. But it is the duty of the non-dishwasher to ensure that the dishes are rinsed and placed in the sink. Don’t eat a bowl of chili and leave it for me to wash when it has hardened to the consistency of concrete. If you do that, then I won’t leave my underwear on the floor. Unless I forget. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/77 "2012-04-30T17:17:32Z")
…Whisker bits all over the sink. Splash marks of ick all over the mirror. Dirty clothes on the floor. Soggy slimy washrag on the bottom of the shower. Dirty dishes left in the sink. Dirty glasses left around the house… …are not acceptable… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/78 "2012-04-30T18:50:32Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > With housework, the wife and I try to divide the responsibilities fairly, but I pulled the typical man trick of fucking everything up like a 9 year old retarted monkey so that she’ll just do it herself to save aggravation. You single guys need to learn this.\ Why would the single guys need to learn how to properly shirk adult responsibilities? They’re only annoying themselves if they don’t do a good job cleaning their own houses. ---
**Author:** ![Craz3d117](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c4cdca/32.png) [@Craz3d117](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craz3d117)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/79 "2012-04-30T19:37:13Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > You know, there’s a _real_ simple solution to her not loading the dishwasher the way you want her to. Load it yourself. > > You can either do the job yourself, and have control over how it is done, or delegate the job _and_ the control over how it is done to someone else. _There are no other choices._ You don’t get to tell other adults how to do a job unless you’re paying them. Would you rather do the work of loading the dishwasher and control how it’s done, or would you rather have her do it and control how it is done? Those are the only available choices, take your pick. So no one has the right to criticize anyone on anything? God forbid I trust people to accomplish a task they agree to doing. God forbid people have some sense of accountability. Someone screws up something? Well shame on you for not doing it yourself! Yes, this a perfectly appropriate way of coexisting. ---
**Author:** ![bmasters1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@bmasters1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmasters1)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260/80 "2012-05-01T09:36:09Z")
Here’s one relating to religion and church: If you don’t know that there are other translations of the Good Book besides your favorite 1611 inerrant inspired Elizabethan KJV, we cannot be together. (This would be for one who insists on the KJV as being the only true Bible; I myself do not.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-know-that-____-then-we-cant-be-together/620260.md?page=5)