# If You Don't Like It, Don't Read It, Part 654... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 22, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403 "2003-04-22T19:57:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/21 "2003-04-23T06:29:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Achernar \* > \*\*Okay, sure, but looking at my post to that thread, you can probably guess. Here are some: > > “I HATE HATE HATE yuppie-ish wannabe WASPy names that make kids sound like banking firms. All trendy flavor-of-the-month names are pretty stupid, for that matter. Look, people, if you want to name your kid something “unique,” find something unique yourself, not something that makes you look like a mindless sheep.” > > “These are just cruel, and the parents should be beaten about the head and shoulders severely. I mean, WTF are they thinking??” > > “Bleccch! HUNTER! It’s just … it’s bloody ridiculous. Ditto, CODY. Down with CODY!” > > “Bailey, whether male or female, to me, belongs on a dog, not a child. Blech.” > > “brother in law named his kid Mercedes. It just sounds awful.” > > Now, I’m going to say two things that seem contradictory, and I guess you’re going to have to trust that I mean both of them. First, I really do think it’s immature to say that someone has an ugly name, and I feel no qualms about speaking out against it. Second, it’s not my intention to make **Gazelle** or anyone feel bad, and I’m sorry if I did. \*\* Since I made the first of those posts, let me ask, what was so offensive about any of them? Did you not expect that that would be the type of thing posted in a thread entitled “Irksome names for children”? Is this any more immature than going into a thread about analingus and saying, “Ewwww, how can you talk about licking ass?! That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard!” Yes, it may well be the most disgusting thing you’ve ever heard, but it’s mentioned in the FUCKING TITLE OF THE THREAD, is it not? ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/22 "2003-04-23T06:48:55Z")
Okay, it seems to me you’re asking two things. First off, why do I consider it offensive, and second, why do I consider it inappropriate for an offensive post to be made in a thread where there’s a warning. Is this basically what’s up? The second one’s easier, so I’ll do that first. That also seems to be what this thread is about. I did expect those kinds of posts; you’ll notice I never said that I didn’t. But just because you warn that you’re about to offend, doesn’t excuse you. More generally, warning that you’re about to break forum rules doesn’t excuse you from doing it. And I do think there’s a difference between being disgusting and being hateful. The first one is trickier, and I think I said it as best I could earlier. A name is a very personal thing for some people, and it’s hard for them not to take an insult to their name personally. It’s not true for everyone, though, so I can understand how people might not realize this. But think of something that’s important to you, maybe your race, or your nationality, or your religion, or your sexual preference, or your career. Isn’t there something that causes an emotional reaction in you when someone derides it in a non-joking way? Don’t you consider the people who do that inconsiderate? ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/23 "2003-04-23T08:05:49Z")
Uh, we have fashion threads all the time, where people express their dislike for capri pants, cropped shirts, neon colors, etc. all the time. Should this offend everyone who owns capri pants, cropped shirts, etc? I don’t think so. It’s OPINION, people. Sheesh. So someone thinks your name is ugly. Big freaking deal. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/24 "2003-04-23T08:11:41Z")
Your shirt is not who you are. It’s not your personality or your identity. For that reason, fashion threads are a bad analogy, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/25 "2003-04-23T08:18:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NightRabbit \* > It’s OPINION, people. Sheesh. So someone thinks your name is ugly. Big freaking deal. You’ll also notice that I didn’t say there was anything wrong with holding such an opinion, or even expressing such an opinion. I just asked people not to be insulting while doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/26 "2003-04-23T08:22:44Z")
No, it’s a good analogy because a name is exactly as important as your clothing. Your name isn’t your personality, nor is it your identity in anything but the legal sense. Seems we disagree. What makes your opinion more important than mine? Who made you the arbiter of community standards? If you know a certain topic bothers you, avoid threads on that topic. Why is that so hard? ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/27 "2003-04-23T09:28:09Z")
Are you saying someone’s name is part of someone’s identity? Wait, I guess it sounds like it is… identification card, that is. You foo’. When Homer Simpson changed his name to Max Powers he was still a moron, not an upwardly mobile professional. Your name has like zero to do with your personality and identity. Unless your name is Wanker von Goatse McArsewipe, you probably aren’t going to cop an unusual amount of flak for your name, thereby ensuring you don’t become unecessarily neurotic. Shakespeare also said something about roses and names and smelling, or something. Heed the bard. Preview: It’s Miller Time. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/28 "2003-04-23T09:31:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > No, it’s a good analogy because a name is exactly as important as your clothing. Your name isn’t your personality, nor is it your identity in anything but the legal sense. Okay, this is probably true for you, and for the lovestricken Juliet, but that doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone. Some people do associate their name with their identity. It doesn’t strike me as such a stretch. Now, I myself do not feel personally insulted if someone insults spiritual beliefs that I hold, but I know that spiritual beliefs are very personal for some people, and I know that someone might feel personally offended if I insult a belief they hold. So, I don’t make fun of spiritual beliefs. It’s not because I think that their opinion is more important than mine; it’s just considerate. Now, as I see it, there are two related but separate issues being discussed here. Whether making fun of names is offensive, and whether people should just ignore offensive posts (If you don’t like it, don’t read it.). I think they’re both worthy of discussion, but just to keep things clear, I’m going to try to disentangle them. Here’s why I don’t think people should just ignore offensive posts: I wasn’t just looking out for myself. I think we should try to be a friendly community. If I see offensive posts outside The BBQ Pit, I think it reflects badly on the SDMB, and I don’t see anything wrong with trying to rectify it. If I see a post in which someone is _intentionally_ being offensive, I’ll report it to a Moderator. Do you think this is a bad idea? I thought in this case that any harm was unintentional, and it could be fixed with a polite request. I didn’t go into a thread looking for trouble or anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/29 "2003-04-23T11:35:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Achernar \* > \*\*…you fat ol’ addle-pated cattle straddler… \*\* You definately get points for _addle-pated cattle straddler_! Well done! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/30 "2003-04-23T11:38:01Z")
You are on the wrong messageboard. Dopers have strong opinions and you need to grow a thicker skin if you intend to hang around here. There was nothing in the thread that warranted it being a Pit thread. You should have backed out of the thread and stopped reading it when it started to offend you. People will not change their method of posting to suit you. I’ve been offended many times but refuse to post because it’s the other person’s right to state his opinion and my being offended doesn’t mean the other person is wrong. A person’s name is just that…a name. Lots of people change their names every day, so what does that mean? They don’t like themselves and want to be someone else? ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/31 "2003-04-23T11:39:17Z")
Left out one point; we have enough mods on the board without you policing threads too. Bet you are tormenting the hell out of them. ---
**Author:** ![MercyStreet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@MercyStreet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MercyStreet)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/32 "2003-04-23T14:09:16Z")
QUOTE: _“I wasn’t just looking out for myself. I think we should try to be a friendly community. If I see offensive posts outside The BBQ Pit, I think it reflects badly on the SDMB, and I don’t see anything wrong with trying to rectify it. If I see a post in which someone is intentionally being offensive, I’ll report it to a Moderator. Do you think this is a bad idea? I thought in this case that any harm was unintentional, and it could be fixed with a polite request. I didn’t go into a thread looking for trouble or anything like that.”_ I’m wondering how someone all dudded up as Officer Friendly managed to rack up 3,000-plus posts on this message board. ---
**Author:** ![MercyStreet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@MercyStreet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MercyStreet)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/33 "2003-04-23T15:02:47Z")
A lesson in Deliberately Offensive. **Already in Use** , if I may borrow you for a moment, as a sort of honor for coming up with that genius “bank firms” bit… You know what, **Already in Use**? I just got a load of baby names you’re considering. What kind of idiot would name a son Hunter? What kind of idiot would name a daughter Ridley? It’s clear you have no storied pedigree involving knighthoods, deeded ancestral lands whose public rights-of-way predate the drive of the Picts, wartime acts of derring-do, and non-corporate-funded contributions to the arts and sciences. We see you for what you are: just another low-born, damp basement-enduring, marigolds-, impatiens-, and petunias-around-the-mailbox-planting-and-fertilizing-with-Miracle-Gro suburban fool. One would say you have a **duty** – if your kind of people are familiar with duty – to be that fool. To run along and junk up your property with pink and green concrete patio blocks. To wrap that religious icon around the rearview mirror of your ticky-tacky American car – the one with the teal paint job and the bald tires and the rich Corinthian leather upholstery. To scrape together the money for a weekend on Martha’s Vineyard and buy a sweatshirt from The Black Dog, Where The Rich People Eat. To give your offspring a fanciful name in the deluded belief that the world will welcome him/her not as a product of the hopelessly self-perpetuating middle class, but as an individual of Taste and Kulture. (And individual whose parents have visited – no, wait! – _summered_ – on the Vineyard. You know, Martha’s Vineyard, where they saw Carly Simon driving a forest green Land Rover.) Lacking your kind, the sitcom writers of America soon would run out of material. … Warmest regards, **MercyStreet**. P.S. – Sorry I can’t make it to the baby shower. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/34 "2003-04-23T15:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j\_kat\_251 \* > \*\*Unless your name is Wanker von Goatse McArsewipe, you probably aren’t going to cop an unusual amount of flak for your name, thereby ensuring you don’t become unecessarily neurotic. > \*\* HEY! I was gonna name my kid that! What’s wrong with you, being all insulting like that! ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/35 "2003-04-23T16:42:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultress \* > I’ve been offended many times but refuse to post because it’s the other person’s right to state his opinion and my being offended doesn’t mean the other person is wrong. Please point me to two posts outside of The Pit that offended you and about which you did nothing. I’m not sure if we’re talking about the same thing, but if so, I would be interested to see. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/36 "2003-04-23T17:04:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _ultress_ > You are on the wrong messageboard. Dopers have strong opinions and you need to grow a thicker skin if you intend to hang around here. […] You should have backed out of the thread and stopped reading it when it started to offend you. People will not change their method of posting to suit you. What utter bollocks. Making fun of someone’s name is not “having a strong opinion”. Stopping reading if you find something offensive is surrender - keeping reading and facing the question of whether your offense is reasonable or whether those offending you are confused, insensitive or fuckheads _is_ fighting ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/37 "2003-04-23T17:26:57Z")
Learn the SDMB Golden Rule, my children: _ **If you post it, they will respond.** _ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/38 "2003-04-23T17:43:30Z")
Excuse me, but I kind of think it can only be considered an insult if you know people reading it are somehow associated with some of those irksome names. I don’t buy that a person’s name is their identity, btw. I’ll tell you what, I chose my shirt, but not my name. I’d be more insulted if there was a thread talking negatively about gray and white LL Bean ribbed tops than the name Karen. However, since nobody knows (or didn’t know) that’s what I’m wearing how could I take it personally? ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/39 "2003-04-23T17:52:12Z")
Oh, one other thing, I don’t think my “I didn’t know” policy is an excuse for being racist or insulting larger people or gay people or Star Trek enthusiasts on the boards. There are certain things one can safely assume around here and that someone actually named their baby Kaden isn’t one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403/40 "2003-04-23T18:07:54Z")
Okay, and if it were safe to assume that no Cameroonians are reading this, it would be okay to say hateful things about them? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-it-dont-read-it-part-654/170403.md?page=3)