# If you don't like my perogies, don't eat them. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 22, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194 "2002-11-22T18:10:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/21 "2002-11-22T19:56:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > \*\*Yay! A parody I actually “get”! > > \*\* You think _you’re_ happy, this is the first time anyone’s ever yelled at me for something I posted. Thanks, **Giraffe** , now I feel like I truly belong 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/22 "2002-11-22T20:23:16Z")
I don’t care that this is a parody thread and I don’t care that, yes, I actually _get_ the parody. What I _do_ care about is the fact I NEED TO HAVE SOME FUCKIN’ PEROGI THIS SECOND! [sub]waiting until Christmas approaches, and get to go help make hundreds and hundreds of perogi with her gramma…mmmm[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/23 "2002-11-22T20:48:04Z")
[Bessie Smith voice] “If you don’ like mah peaches, why do you shake mah tree?” [/Bessie Smith voice] ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/24 "2002-11-22T21:00:33Z")
ARRGH!! dammit. The perogy craving has begun. Over a year and a half with out those beautiful little potato filled bits of love! _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/25 "2002-11-22T22:49:58Z")
Well Shit. Now I have to make perogys for dinner… With sour cream… And green onions… When my computer shorts out from drool on the keyboard, I’m blaming you **Max** ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/26 "2002-11-22T22:56:29Z")
I finally make a beautiful woman drool…and it’s over my pirogies. Oh, well, I’ll take what I can get. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/27 "2002-11-22T23:33:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > FWIW, **Max** the first half-dozen pierogies of yours were extremely tasty. I gassed, I cried from the onions, that whole deal. Wow … a parody of my post. Should I be proud or something?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/28 "2002-11-23T05:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Wow … a parody of my post. Should I be proud or something?🙂 \*\* That’s your pierogative. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/29 "2002-11-23T16:42:49Z")
An appetizer: Baked Perogi (Sweet Dough Recipe) 1 cup milk 1/2 cup sugar + 2 tsp. sugar 2 tsp. salt ¾ cups cold water ¼ cups soft butter ½ cup lukewarm water 2 packets dry yeast 2 eggs, well beaten and 1 egg lightly beaten 7 cups all-purpose flour Perogi Filling ½ pound bacon 2 finely chopped onions Fresh black pepper Cook bacon over medium heat until cooked but not crisp. Add onion and sauté until soft and cooked add pepper to taste and let cool draining excess fat. Have everything at room temperature. Scald milk and stir in ½ cup of sugar, salt, cold water, and soft shortening. Cool to lukewarm. In the cup with the lukewarm water, stir in the 2-tsp. of sugar and the dry yeast. Let stand for 10 minutes then stir again until well blended. Pour into a large warmed bowl. Stir in milk mixture, well-beaten eggs and 3½ cups flour. Beat until smooth and elastic. Work in additional flour to make soft dough. As the dough thickens, mix by hand in a circular motion. Turn out dough onto a lightly greased surface. Knead until smooth and elastic (about 5 min.). Place in lightly greased warmed bowl. Lightly grease top of dough and cover with greased wax paper and a clean cloth. Let rise until double in volume (about an hour and a half.) Turn onto lightly greased surface. Punch down dough. Cut in half with a greased knife, ball up each half, cover and let stand for 15 min. One half at a time, roll out onto lightly greased surface, cut out circles, stretch, add filling and seal into crescents. Save leftovers for clover leaf Rolls below. Make sure the edges are securely sealed. Place on a greased cookie sheet, cover with greased wax paper and a clean cloth. Let rise again until they double in volume (about an hour and a half.) Bake at 375 degrees approx. 20 minutes. Remove to cool on a rack. Brush with lightly beaten egg while cooling. For half-baked perogis bake for 10 minutes instead of 20. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/30 "2002-11-23T17:02:37Z")
The very idea that any of you are putting ANYTHING but fried cabbage and onions in a perogi is a slap in the face to the Poles on this board who slaved at the side of their grandma to learn the fine art of pierogi making from scratch. My perogis kick ASS and they’re made CORRECTLY. And if I’m lyin’, my grandma’s last name ain’t Wdowviak Jar ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/31 "2002-11-23T17:10:34Z")
I tried to make some but I must of messed up. Mine came out as a parody of perogis and tasted like Parrot-ease. I think I’ll leave them to the SDMB perogis experts. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/32 "2002-11-23T17:34:09Z")
Sandra Bullock has great perogies too. Don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/33 "2002-11-23T17:52:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > \*\*You think _you’re_ happy, this is the first time anyone’s ever yelled at me for something I posted. Thanks, **Giraffe** , now I feel like I truly belong 🙂 \*\* What are you implying?!?! Fucking asshole!! You suck. [sub]Just trying to make you happy…[/sub] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/34 "2002-11-23T20:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*My perogis kick ASS and they’re made CORRECTLY. And if I’m lyin’, my grandma’s last name ain’t Wdowviak > > Jar \*\* Brag all you want but I dont’ see a recipe from you. So either put up or shut up. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/35 "2002-11-24T03:31:48Z")
My mom knows how to make 'em, but I’ve yet to see any… ---
**Author:** ![diku](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@diku](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diku)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/36 "2002-11-24T05:33:52Z")
The sad truth here is that **Max** only gets frozen perogis. He couldn’t make them to save his life. Chicken Cordon Bleu, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/37 "2002-11-24T16:52:34Z")
Homebrew, If you think for a second I would give out ANY of my recipes for secret family items that I CAN SELL to people, you’ve got another thing coming. That’s like asking for my Lemon Bars or Artichoke Dip. You’re being silly. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Wen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Dr.Wen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Wen)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/38 "2002-11-24T17:58:58Z")
\*\*True story - \*\* A guy settled in at a restaurant and the waiter shuffles over to tell him the special - and proceeds to describe the most wonderfully delicious three cheese ravioli with tarragon sauce. Yes, says the salivating customer. After a few bites, the customer realizes that there is something wrong with his dish. Upon complaint, the waiter says “If you don’t like my perogies, then don’t eat them.” The customer replies that he never even thought he was getting perogie in the first place, he was told he was getting wonderfully delicious three cheese ravioli with tarragon sauce. The waiter retorts, “A select few of my customers know that when I describe a special, they will sometimes get perogie instead. It is for them that I make my perogies, and they find them delicious although even people who enjoy a good perogie don’t usually care for the way I prepare them. If you thought you were getting what I had originally described, or you didn’t find what you actually got tasty, too bad for you. Here is your bill.” Snickers from the regulars ensue, as this recurring event always amuses them (and me). Really, true story. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/39 "2002-11-24T20:55:24Z")
Interestingly, **Libertarian** has a thread going: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=145598 It’s called “If you don’t like my parodies, don’t read them” Most amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194/40 "2002-11-24T20:57:14Z")
Why does my link not work? Crapenstein!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-like-my-perogies-dont-eat-them/138194.md?page=3)