# If you don't want to do "team-building" exercises **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148 "2010-09-26T22:42:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148/261 "2010-10-13T02:32:45Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > How about seeing what your surly worker has issues with and seeing if it is something that can be remedied? It might be something as simple as instead of parceling out the assignments a couple at a time, make a whole list of 20 items that need to get done, and let her/him go to town on them. Sort of like in that thread on the terrorist twos - let the kid have the sense of choice without forcing choices on them. Let surly worker seem to have more freedom of choice. Might make it seem less managed and more self responsible. This is, in fact, what the problem was, and that is, in fact, what the solution was. šŸ˜ƒ In addition to that, Iā€™ve made strong efforts to communicate to the department. I had a bad habit before of holding back info until it was time to tell them; now, as soon as I know something that affects them, I give them a quick heads-up. Really, after thinking on it some, I think I did surly employee an injustice by bitching like I did earlier. She hasnā€™t had a complaint since we talked and I modified my management, even though Iā€™ve told her sheā€™s welcome to ā€“ and like **Guns** , sheā€™s the sort of person whoā€™s happy to take up that offer. šŸ˜› For all I know, the current resentment might be entirely my imagination and not simply subtle cues I think Iā€™m picking up. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148/262 "2010-10-13T09:22:34Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > This is, in fact, what the problem was, and that is, in fact, what the solution was. šŸ˜ƒ In addition to that, Iā€™ve made strong efforts to communicate to the department. I had a bad habit before of holding back info until it was time to tell them; now, as soon as I know something that affects them, I give them a quick heads-up. > > Really, after thinking on it some, I think I did surly employee an injustice by bitching like I did earlier. She hasnā€™t had a complaint since we talked and I modified my management, even though Iā€™ve told her sheā€™s welcome to ā€“ and like **Guns** , sheā€™s the sort of person whoā€™s happy to take up that offer. šŸ˜› For all I know, the current resentment might be entirely my imagination and not simply subtle cues I think Iā€™m picking up. Mucho thanks, from someone else who likes having the whole To-Do list to order and shuffle as needed, rather than work handed out piecemeal. And congratulations on being a good manager. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148/263 "2010-10-13T16:29:38Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Nobodyā€™s actually said anything outright to me. I kind of wish they would, because I fully plan to do the second. I could take each person aside and explain the situation one on one, but that seems more disruptive than not. If it becomes a bigger problem, I will. Itā€™s already a problem. Deal with it now, while itā€™s small, before it blows up in your face. Call a team meeting to discuss attendance policies or write something up and distribute it. It doesnā€™t matter if there really is preferential treatment or not, as long as people suspect there is. You need to make it 100% clear to everyone what the guidelines and expectations are for their presences in the office. Not everyone is comfortable with going to their manager when they have concerns. As soon as you even suspect that something is turning into an issue, you should address it before it develops from a small hurt into a huge, gaping, festering wound. Would you keep running on a stress fracture and wait for it to turn into something worse before treating it, too? > [@Bosstone](#): > > I just remain confused as to why sheā€™s chosen to stay with a company she hates for at least two years now, other than the general economy reason. There needs to be another reason? I had a pretty good inkling I was going to get fired at my previous job, which was in the pit of fucking hell, a while before I actually got the axe. But I stuck around anyway, just to get as much money out of it as I possibly could. How do you know she hasnā€™t been looking for another job and just not turning up anything workable? > [@Bosstone](#): > > She hasnā€™t had a complaint since we talked and I modified my management, even though Iā€™ve told her sheā€™s welcome to ā€“ and like **Guns** , sheā€™s the sort of person whoā€™s happy to take up that offer. 1.) Thank you for being the kind of person who makes an offer like this and not only sincerely means it but puts useful feedback into practice. 2.) Please realize that a large percentage of the time actually expressing concernes to a manager about that managerā€™s work will, at best, have zero effect, and will be fairly likely to get you on that managerā€™s shitlist, regardless of how valid the concerns are. So donā€™t take it personally if people donā€™t give you feedback, and donā€™t count on them to come to you with problems. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148/264 "2010-10-13T19:38:57Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > > [@Bosstone](#): > > > > This is, in fact, what the problem was, and that is, in fact, what the solution was. šŸ˜ƒ In addition to that, Iā€™ve made strong efforts to communicate to the department. I had a bad habit before of holding back info until it was time to tell them; now, as soon as I know something that affects them, I give them a quick heads-up. > > > > Really, after thinking on it some, I think I did surly employee an injustice by bitching like I did earlier. She hasnā€™t had a complaint since we talked and I modified my management, even though Iā€™ve told her sheā€™s welcome to ā€“ and like **Guns** , sheā€™s the sort of person whoā€™s happy to take up that offer. šŸ˜› For all I know, the current resentment might be entirely my imagination and not simply subtle cues I think Iā€™m picking up. > > Mucho thanks, from someone else who likes having the whole To-Do list to order and shuffle as needed, rather than work handed out piecemeal. And congratulations on being a good manager. I think itā€™s great that this was able to be resolved to both ā€œsidesā€ satisfaction. I understand and agree that sometimes things will come up unexpectedly, and as a boss you are expected to make the assignments. As long as she understands that also, itā€™s all good. It sounds almost as if she had a perception that work was a matter of ā€œstamping out fires all the timeā€, and if you were able to show her the true picture, excellent. You sound like a good guy to work for. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148/265 "2010-10-13T19:51:08Z")
I appreciate it. Iā€™m just trying to find the right balance between being the boss and being a doormat. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148/266 "2010-10-13T20:09:34Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > > [@Bosstone](#): > > > > This is, in fact, what the problem was, and that is, in fact, what the solution was. šŸ˜ƒ In addition to that, Iā€™ve made strong efforts to communicate to the department. I had a bad habit before of holding back info until it was time to tell them; now, as soon as I know something that affects them, I give them a quick heads-up. > > > > Really, after thinking on it some, I think I did surly employee an injustice by bitching like I did earlier. She hasnā€™t had a complaint since we talked and I modified my management, even though Iā€™ve told her sheā€™s welcome to ā€“ and like **Guns** , sheā€™s the sort of person whoā€™s happy to take up that offer. šŸ˜› For all I know, the current resentment might be entirely my imagination and not simply subtle cues I think Iā€™m picking up. > > Mucho thanks, from someone else who likes having the whole To-Do list to order and shuffle as needed, rather than work handed out piecemeal. And congratulations on being a good manager. +1 and thanks from someone else who prefers this as well if given an option. And kudos for recognizing the whole ā€œwithholding informationā€ thing. That sort of shit sucks all around for a number of reasons. (There have been plenty of times when what seems like an offhand comment about a mundane detail to one person is actually a highly edifying piece of info for another ā€¦ like, it helps tie a whole lot of pieces together.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-dont-want-to-do-team-building-exercises/555148.md?page=13)