# "If you elect Biden, he'll listen to the Scientists!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2020, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323 "2020-10-19T13:16:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/81 "2020-10-22T16:47:44Z")
It’s a satire column by Andy Borowitz. Not real. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/82 "2020-10-22T17:36:34Z")
Yes. Every day, I recall the common retort from when I was in third grade: “Is that a promise, or a threat?” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2020, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/83 "2020-10-25T18:47:45Z")
[This tweet by someone calling herself Janus Rose](https://twitter.com/zenalbatross/status/1040285789341605889) continues to be relevant: > i continue to assert that the best, most optimistic news headlines are written by right-wing blogs trying to shock & frighten their readers ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2020, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/84 "2020-10-26T02:48:55Z")
Ha! Totally. Somehow, the Trump campaign sent me a snail mail card warning me that Kamala Harris was even more of a socialist than Bernie Sanders. I wish! That would be awesome! ---
**Author:** ![HateCallCentres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@HateCallCentres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HateCallCentres)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/85 "2020-10-28T08:47:31Z")
I’m a retired microbiologist who worked in medical area. I sure as hell hope he starts listening to Fauci and similar CDC NIH scientists! I live in Qld Australia. We got in early with lockdowns and border closures. Qld death toll from Covid-19 = 6. Yes, SIX. Wake up America. ---
**Author:** ![HateCallCentres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@HateCallCentres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HateCallCentres)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/86 "2020-10-28T08:52:09Z")
Yes, I feel truly sorry for Americans at the moment for many reasons. I hope for all your sakes he does not get re-elected despite the rhetoric, lies, and idiocy. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/87 "2020-10-29T14:46:53Z")
I still maintain that the most satirical thing _The Onion_ could do would be to report on Trump as if he was a dignified President that respects the office and wants to do right by the people. Like say… what Obama (or really any of Trump’s predecessors) would have said in a similar situation, as opposed to whatever sewer gas belches forth when Trump opens his mouth. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/88 "2020-10-29T16:28:27Z")
Like: “Today, Trump had a rally in Omaha, Nebraska, where he respectfully and with great dignity made the case for why, while his political opponent is a good man, that his policies and vision for the future would be better for the country, for both his supporters and opponents.” “After the rally, plenty of well organized transportation quickly got the rally goers (who were all wearing masks and social distancing) back to where they had parked their cars, 3.7 miles away.” ? We could call it “The Shallot” ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/89 "2020-10-29T16:33:47Z")
Exactly! I keep thinking that when the actual truth is so absurd and sensational, then the satire has to go in the opposite direction. It seems pretty satirical and subversive to me. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/90 "2020-10-29T16:58:17Z")
It would be for those in the know but what would happen in real life is Trump would tweet a link to the article, and millions of people wouldn’t know or care that it was a satirical piece. It would end up being some unintentionally great advertising for him. “See! He is so Presidential in that speech!” ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/91 "2020-10-29T17:02:52Z")
I imagine that he’d notice, and rail against it- “Fake news!” since he never actually said that, thereby intensifying the impact. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/92 "2020-10-29T17:09:17Z")
They already do that with Onion and other satirical sites that tell fake stories of Democrats. The big one was the Abortion Megaplex story, seems I see that get linked to every few months on some social media as though it were a real story. ---
**Author:** ![icon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c6cbf5/32.png) [@icon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icon)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/93 "2020-10-29T21:46:48Z")
Or the Harry Potter one where the Satanist says > Harry is an absolute **godsend** to our cause That one is believed by many `//i\\` ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2020, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323/94 "2020-11-01T17:54:53Z")
Boris Johnson accused of “giving in to the scientific advisers” made me think of this thread. That’s from this article [Sage believes its advice to be more like commandments written on stone](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2020/11/01/sage-confused-believing-advice-like-commandments-written-stone/) which is pay walled. There is a summary of it at CNN [https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/01/uk/uk-lockdown-coronavirus-reaction-gbr-intl/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/01/uk/uk-lockdown-coronavirus-reaction-gbr-intl/index.html) > “Normally, advisers advise and ministers decide. Yet that system has broken down with Sage [the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies] believing its advice to be more like commandments written on stone and its members publicly lecturing the Government over the airways,” From the author of the Telegraph piece, Iain Duncan Smith, a former Conservative leader. I guess that if you are given advice, and you take the advice, then it wasn’t really advice, it was a commandment? Best of luck to the UK in getting their portion of the pandemic under control. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-elect-biden-hell-listen-to-the-scientists/923323.md?page=4)