# If you get off with a mermaid, is it bestiality? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645 "2012-07-08T22:57:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/1 "2012-07-08T22:57:14Z")
Inspired by the recent [NOAA](http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2012/07/02/mermaids_the_body_found_government_agency_noaa_debunks_animal_planet_show.html) announcement that mermaids probably do not exist, and a bit of Ricky Gervais’ [standup.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16AUAhOi_qU) If you met a mermaid sunning herself on a rock, got chatting and then got down to business (as far as anatomy allows, that is), is that bestiality? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/2 "2012-07-08T23:00:47Z")
Consider the fact that a mermaid seems to have fish genitalia . . . ---
**Author:** ![Rubixcube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Rubixcube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubixcube)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/3 "2012-07-08T23:36:00Z")
Bestiality is defined as sex with any non-human animal, so technically speaking even having sex with something as closely related as a Neanderthal would be considered bestiality. Also I imagine it would be more accurate to picture dolphin parts when thinking about mermaid sex. Now _that_ is certainly not a sentence I ever imagined I would type. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Evil_Prince_Zorte)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/4 "2012-07-08T23:36:45Z")
I guess it depends on which half you are involved with. If it is oral sex with you as a recipient, I guess that’s ok. If you happen to be a centaur or satyr, then you are out of luck either way. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/5 "2012-07-08T23:49:43Z")
Was it Woody Allen who once mentioned a mermaid who was half-woman, half-fish, but divided down the middle?? Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/6 "2012-07-09T00:06:01Z")
To quote Philip J. Fry: Why couldn’t she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/7 "2012-07-09T01:52:53Z")
My luck, I’d get the half that eats! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/8 "2012-07-09T01:59:12Z")
I want a merMAN . . . and if I limit myself to his mouth, it’s not bestiality. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/9 "2012-07-09T02:20:34Z")
It al depends, doesn’t it? I’ve seen representations of mermaids that were human down to past the genitals. Or you could have the “Splash” type mermaids who get human legs on land (or your Little Mermaid scenario where they get feet. Or One like the one in that Night Gallery Episode _Lindemann’s Catch_, who starts out human on top and fish beneath, but turns into fish on top and human beneath (the idea’s been around since before Fry) [http://www.nightgallery.net/season2c.html](http://www.nightgallery.net/season2c.html) [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z6uJ43eDtA) This only works if you’re into that “Innsmouth Look”. Which some people – you just _KNOW_ it – would be. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/10 "2012-07-09T02:24:54Z")
> [@antonio107](#): > > To quote Philip J. Fry: Why couldn’t she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?! 😃 Imagine what face-to-face sex would be like that. You’d have to put a pillow between faces, or…use a flag over fishface, then fuck for Old Glory. ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/11 "2012-07-09T02:46:14Z")
Bestiality is wrong because animals can’t consent, but in the mermaid’s case, the part with the brain is people. So it’s kind of insulting to call her a _beast._ So in other words, yes it’s bestiality, but it’s OK. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/12 "2012-07-09T02:52:07Z")
Need answer fast? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/13 "2012-07-09T02:55:43Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > Bestiality is wrong because animals can’t consent, but in the mermaid’s case, the part with the brain is people. So it’s kind of insulting to call her a _beast._ So in other words, yes it’s bestiality, but it’s OK. I dunno. There’s something fishy about this explanation. ---
**Author:** ![heathen\_earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/13edae/32.png) [@heathen\_earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heathen_earthling)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/14 "2012-07-09T02:56:16Z")
Perhaps it depends on the evolutionary origin of mermaids. Are they are species of human that evolved fish tails, or a species of fish that evolved human-like upper bodies? ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/15 "2012-07-09T04:22:08Z")
If we try to get off and fail, is it bestiality? ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/16 "2012-07-09T04:29:55Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > I dunno. There’s something fishy about this explanation. Yeah. It’s murky enough that no one could predict which way the scales of justice would fall. I’ll bet a fin on bestiality. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/17 "2012-07-09T04:46:59Z")
She’s a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I’d call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It’s not like have sex with a fish; it’s like having sex with an alien. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/18 "2012-07-09T04:56:05Z")
I’d say it would get called bestiality, but who cares really? It’s sort of the acceptable kind, like centaurs and swans. It’s all worked out magically somehow, because there’s an essence of humanity in these creatures during the act. It’s not like having sex with some dumb animal, there’s human love, or at least lust involved in both participants. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/19 "2012-07-09T05:27:44Z")
Yes, anybody who isn’t a _homo sapiens sapiens._ ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/20 "2012-07-09T05:29:38Z")
Depends on which end you get it on with. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645.md?page=2)